August 2008
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Ok… I’m done!!! I can’t take this anymore… I can’t take me anymore… I’m out!!!

I feel like a ghost floating between happiness and sadness and I can’t take this anymore!! I can’t see how I can fix this… fix me, fix my life!!!

It won’t be like this… I’m tired of me… tired of I became and what the time did to me!! I shouldn’t be like this… I had a great education, a lot of oportunities (most than the brazilian have), always had what I want (praticaly)!!! And why… I ask why I’m like this???

Without a job, without certain about what I want ofr my future, fighting with the people who I love and care about (and I couldn’t live without), feeding dreams that I know won’t become true…

I used to be so full of ideas, dreams and certains… yeah, I used to be happy and funny and now I’m boring and annoying… I’m a old lady in a youth body!!!

I’m tired of treat the others bad!!! But I don’t feel good with myself either!! How I can care about the others if I hadn’t been taking care of me??

I’ve been trying so hard change this, I know I don’t show this but I’m really trying, but it’s so difficult!!!

I don’t know what to do and I don’t feel I have the energy to change!! I lose my happiness and a lot of my hope!!!

Isn’t cool realize I’ 21 and I shouldn’t be thinking like a 75 years old lady or like a 5 years old girl… I should enjoy my life and maybe make be more inconsequently… this is the age when I can (and should) make more mistakes… assume riskd… be a bit more crazy!!!

I know I still have time to change this, to make it better, to make me better, actually!!! And I really hope I can… and now we back to the basic question: how?? The answer looks so simples, but this could be everything unless simple… is hard to explain this for people who thinks this is freshness and I only do this for the others pau attention in me!!!

Well, now my mind is a hundred km from here so, is better I stop to write, before I write so much and a lot of nonsense things…

Bye-bye

“Sorry I can’t be perfect” - Perfect, Simple Plan

One Response to “18/08/08”


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