May 2008
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Well, I still don’t have net at my PC but now I’m at the reception and here have net, so I’m using hehehehehehe!!!

I guess I have one old post save but another day I publish that…

Well, nothing new, only for say I’m still here and keep alive (obvious!)!!!

Bye-bye…

Untill someday!!!

Hello…

Today I don’t feel I want write… but I’m wrighting anyway!!! Because I know this is good for me!!!

I guess I’ll try to invent a history… only things in my head… and no more about the real life!!
Yeah, but maybe sometimes the facts will look like reals!!!!

But, one last time of real life…

I discovered who had the ideia of take the net off… yeah… was her!!! Blablabla…. fuck you, ok?! And I guess she did this without the ‘others’ know!!!! Nha… ¬¬ well, but I’ve already knew she won’t the kind of person who she shows!!!!

Why write about the real life is easier than invent a history?! I keep trying to think in names and how the caracteres will be but I don’t get nothing… but I’ll try anyway!!! And someday this will take good =P!!!

Once upon time…. hehehehehehehehehe!!!!

Yeah, all the farietales starts like this…. why my history can be a farietale??? I love farietales, anyway!!!!

Can be a history with a princes waiting the love… your beautiful prince!!! In a white horse… with blondy hair and green eyes… things she have too, actually!!!

But they can’t commited yourselfs because the bad witch… a brunette woman with dark eyes too!!! And this witch make the poor princess as she slave!! But she didn’t know the princess could looks like a donkey but she don’t know what she’s real feeling!! And only think she CAN boss the princess…

Hehehehehehehe…

Well, someday, maybe I’ll end this history…

Now I have to go… because I find spider here!!! Uhuuuu…

Bye-bye…

XXXXXX

“I not crazy, I just a little unwell” - Unwell, Matchbox 20 (remeber: cath this song in my pc)

“I don’t care if you don’t care” - Jesus of Suburbia, Green Day

Well, I liked this history of start a post with a song… actually I’ll like untill I remember songs =P!!!!! Explain the songs… I know I not crazy, those days I just a little confused!!! And about the Green Day song… to be honest, I don’t  care anyway, by me this can explode… with some people inside!!! I don’t miss they…

Fact: The recepcionit get late today and yesterday… and in any of this days they ask me if I can stay there… strange!!!! Yesterday after  my lunch time I should stay there but another person did… why?!?! Strange [2]

What I think about it: It’s because the internet…

Oh… and today I realize what I already know… the internet was cut on propous!!! Well I already knewt (?) this but now I’m sure, I just want know why!!! Ok.. maybe I know why, but everybody use the internet… I not the only one who abuses… I’m absolutely sure about that!!!!! Some people always stay online… aaaannnddd enter in the orkut!!! I know they have the right of cut it off, but I’d like if someone chated with me about this… not just cut off!!!!

And about the reception, I’ll discever today… maximun this week!!!! OMG… ¬¬

They really need to study a little… well, actually is a lot!!! But untill a tecnical course was great!!! But, who did a lot of basics mistakes when speaks, will do something?!?!

Come on…

Yeah, this piss me off too… be manager of people who knows less than me… they’re really stupids!!!! And I won’t over reacting… how I submit myself to this???? Let the people with less education than me manager me?! I need inteligent people around me… pleeeeaaasssseeee!!! I’m ‘imploro’ (forgot beginn???) for inteligent people and a really dificult job to do!!! Maybe like this I feel more usual!!!

Well, after I start my degree I can look for a better job!!! I know I can l start now, but without internet, it’s really hard!!!! Really really…

How you can see, I won’t pass trought this!!! This still makes me lose my head!!! Nha ¬¬

Why I can’t know everything I want??? Oh… I have so many questions and almost any answer!!! Aiai… But I guess some of this questions I never know, don’t matter how hard I try, maybe nobody will say to me!!! Maybe because one the person knows the answer!!!!

Maybe I should do ‘psicologia’ to try understand the people head… Oh-ho!!!! Why they do this not that?! Why they speak one thing and act in a completelly diferent way?!?! Yeah, everyone trys to make youeself diferent… like use a mask!!!!!

Why I never know what happen here??? I guess I discovered why one girl here was fired ¬¬!!! Oh my… let the others take care about they onw life!!! Blablabla…

Another song: “Everyone around you is corrupted… say something” - Advertising Space, Robbie Willians ( I know I already write this song)…

Well and I’m sure they thell lies about me too… like the history about the bottle of water!!! I guess I didn’t tell tihs history… I’ll tell now… sit and read =P

In a beautiful day (I won’t say names, unless I’ll try don’t say names), the girl who works in the next room say she already have went to the upstairs two times and she’s feeling to shy to get up again to get water in her bottle and then my ’supervisor’ answer to her this is not the worst thing… worst is stay there getting water when you really trying to listen the conversation!!! Well, and she only could speaking about me, because the only person who have a bottle biseides her, it’s me!!! Come on… I have so much better things to do!!! Why?!?! Why I was trying to listen the conversation??? I wasn’t… I only try listen when the people was whispering around me!!! If they want a particular chat, then go to another room!!!!

Oh my… still missing 20 minutes to noon!!! Danm it…

Oh… 5 months untill my birthday!!! Uhuuu… heheheheehehehehe!!! Lovely… =P

Hehehehehe… after they take off my interner my post are so much expansive than the others!!! Maybe it’s because I have more time to write…

Well, I’m going… ;D

Bye-bye!!!!

Hellooooo Doooollyyy…

“I’m happy, I’m feeling glad, I have the sunshine in a bag I’m unsual and (some word I don’t remember) my future is comming on… is comming on… my future is comming on” - Clint Eastwood - Gorilaz

Hahahahahahahahaha… the new girl already give up!!!! It’s a record… less than one week!!!! I think they should give up!!! Unless they want a new girl because they want fire some of the old!!!! =P

I really get happy with the mistakes of the others!!! Especially when I get the mistake and speak with the person who did the mistake… but she don’t listen to me!!! Well, I tryed… I only let the bomb explodes!!! I don’t care, anyway… fuck off!!! With this kind of person the thinks need to be like this!!!!

Putz… now I remember about the history yesterday… about the towel paper!!! It’s so ridiculous… It’s hard to believe… so hard I even can think about it!!!! Well but I already say what my opinion!!!! Yeah, the portuguese part!!!!

Anybody wants give a new job for me??? I don’t care if it’s in another country… =P!!!! I’m tired of Brazil and the way the things go here… there too much wrong things in here!!!

Oh my… how I dream!!!! I’m a really dreamer… I keep inventing historys inside of my head!!!! Conversations… a lot of things!!!! Well, I think I need to be live more in the real life!!!

But live in a utopic word is so easier!!! And so much better… and, nobody can do nothing against this!!!

I have a question… why today I didn’t need to stay at ‘recepçao’ today??? It’s only because everybody needs to stay there?! Well, I don’t think so… I think this is a new way for me don’t use the internet!!! Ok, I too ‘teoria da conspiraçao’…

Oh… I’m to sleepy today!!! If I close my eyes I’ll sleep!!! Oh my… today is too boring!!! I want go home… =(

Buuuuttttt… I’m a dreamer… and this is the good thing about be a dreamer… I can create my own reality and nobody can enter without my permission… so, now I not here anymore!!! Well, I junt can’t dream I’m sleeping, because if I do this, I’ll sleep for real!!!!

Nha, all my creativit, has gone!!!

Bye-bye!!!!!

Untill next bad new… =P

Hello it’s me…

I thought write here after discovered my boyfriend is reading will be difficult… but wasn’t so difficult!!! Off coouse I think a little more before write, but no problem!!! I only complain, anyway!!!

I guess I getting happy again… it’s true!!! I feel so good today, but somedays I feel like this completelly out of the blue!!! Yeah, I’m a happy person, what I can do?!

My belly is hurting… a lot!!! But it’s a diferent kind of pain… I can’t explain!!! I just know it’s hurting and is different (with one or two F?) of the normal!!!! =(

Today I have swin class… uhuuuu!!!!

Yesterday, in the english class, we spoke with the person of A something… don’t remenber the name of the level… I only know they’re a lot in front of us!!! But it was ok!!!! The girl who talk with me speak so cute hehehehehhe!!!!! Well, I guess I was great…

I made the download of Dracula… actually not exactly me, now I need to correct me… damn it!!!! My boyfriend did!!! But I still reading Gossip Girl, so I didn’t started yet!!!

I wanna do something diferent… crazy, I don’t know… yeah a crazy think looks good!!!!! Who knows?!?!

I don’t like changes but sometimes, only a big change can make your life better!!! And I know what I need to change… job, study… no, I can’t change my love life anymore!!! Actually, I never wanted, I wasn’t think very well last week!!!!

Hahahahahahahaahahahhaha… news!!!!

Yeah, when I say I need to get out of here, I really need to get out of here!!!!

Listen that… the towel paper is cut off!!!! Yes, we need to bring a towel, because the manager won’t buy anymore!!! Lovely… terrific… (i’ve been ironic) Oh my…

And why she won’t buy anymore?!?! Because it’s too expansive and it’s over too fast!!!! Come on… now we need to bring our own higienic paper???? I think so…

A little think in portuguese… enfie o papel no cu, ok?!?!?! Junto c/ todo o lucro q vc ele vai te dar!!!

Backing to english…

Well, after my lunch…

Opppssss… I won’t back…

Bye-bye!!!!

Today I met the perfect guy!!! You know a mix of Brad Pitt with Orlando Bloom and a bit of Tom Cruise!!! He’s so handsome!!!!

Heheheheheheheheeh…

I’m kidding… I just wrote this cause now I’m sure, my ‘he’ of last post read this blog!!!! Hehehehehehehe…

I don’t know if I still can write!!! Because don’t matter what I write, he’ll read!!! Now I have to be more careful about what I write… damn, I’ll need a new blog?!?!

Only because you’re reading… You’re the best!!! Hehehehehehehe… and I love you more than everything!!!! I’m kidding (again)… I’m writing this things because they  are real not because you’re reading, ok?!

I guess I’m to relax today for complain about anything… unless for now!! Who knows what can happen untill 18 o’clock?!?!

Yeah… found things to complain… God, how the people can be like this???? I don’t understand… ok, I already say some (actually a lot) gossip… but nothing like the people are here!!!! They’re too much… They could look a little more from they own ass!!! And take care a little less of the others life!!!!

Ok… I love gossip but here I can’t take anymore!!!! Really too much… I want a new job… really want!!! But this not is something I can resolve by my own…  well, when I can resolvem I fail!!! ¬¬

My weekend was great!!! Now I’m (more) sure about do something!!! Today I’ll enter in the university’s sites and try to go there to see everything!!! I hope I can do this today… because if I can’t I only will have time next weekend!! Tooooo far!!!!

Well, for now is just this… I’ll save this and maybe I back to  write more…

Bye…

Guess who is back… back again…

I need a new e-book!!! What I want read now?!?! I almost ending the last Gossip Girl in portuguese… I’m thinking about read the next one in english but I don’t know if I can!!! But I’ll try… another think to do today… donwload some e-books!!!! I have no ideia what I want read… well, I can download all anyway!!! Yeah… I’ll look for the “Silmarilion”, I want read thid book since ever!!!! It’s a big book… better!!! Oh… remember… I want read “Dracula” too!!! Hehehehehehehe… now I have two choices… and Gossip Girl in english, of course!!!

=P

I need to answer Lara’s letter!!! But I’m to lazy… hehehehehehehe!!!!

Today I have english class… this level is almost ending!!! Ooooh… but if I start to study at night, then I need to move my english to Saturday… nha :(!!! And I think if I start to have class on Saturday, then I can’t to theatre… well but I even started the theatre!!!!

Yesterday, speaking with my boyfriend he told me I was all ‘happy’ in the begining of the year and he’s absolutelly right!!! I’d made a lot of plans and was full of dreams… and almost everything was going acording to my plans, so, I don’t have reason to feel like I feel!!!

Well, I have 27 ‘fichas’ to type and almost 2 hours to do… Oh boy!!!!! I think I can… but can what??? Read my book… write here… and do my work most slowly as possible!!!!! =P

Today a new girl is starting to work here… yes a NEW one!!! The last one keep here one month +/- and when she’s explain something then you can see how she think she’s better than the others!!!! The way she speaks… like when you speak with a 5 years old child!!! Oh my…

But like my ‘boy’ says… is not the end!!! Is only a way… a way!!! And in some months I’ll stay in a better place!!!! Yeah… I wrote right, months!!!!

Well, now let me go…

Really go…

Bye-bye!!!!

Baby, only to you know… I LOVE YOU!!!!

I’m sick of this like I just wanna scream…

How could this happen with me?

I don’t want be a single person… but I really need some suport of my boyfriend!!!! I need some help because I don’t know what to do anymore… by my own I can’t fix it!!!!

Baby, you’ll help me???

Bye-bye…

Ufffff….

I’m tired of my life!!! About everything… about my job, about I don’t know what to, about be a commited person!!!! Yeah, I’m tired of have a boyfriend… but I really love him and I don’t know if I could broken up with him!!!!

Maybe is time for me go out again… but I don’t have money for pay a trip!!! I don’t know if that is the right way of resolve… I only know I need to do something about it!!!! Maybe a real conversation with my boyfriend… we’re together for so long time but we don’t talk!!!! I need a lot of attention… not only when we’re alone, when we’re in public with another person who we know too!!!! I hate the fact he don’t introduce me… why he does this???? He know I don’t like but he always ignore this fact!!! Why is so hard say… hey fulano this is my girlfriend Amanda!!!!! Like I do… The real problem is he don’t care about know my friends… actually he knows!!!! But care and I wanna know, I try to convince myself I don’t want but the truth is: I want!!!!

And what the hell was that… ” yeah, I remember him” that stuped fat girl know my boyfriend’s grandfater??? The same one I only know let me think… maybe after 2 years of relationship?!?!

Yep, I really need to talk with him… and I want he speaks too!!!! Not only listening and if he didn’t get the why of the conversation I’ll need to make some decisions!!!!! Really serious decisions…

Just for know… I hate the fact of not have internet here anymore!!!!

I think I’m hating a ot of things today…. be careful with me today, I can hate you too!!!!! I’m kidding… maybe not!!!!!

I’m tired… and desapointed!!!! Desapointed with myself for create situations in my head and when the things don’t came like I imagine then I get angry!!!!

I wanna go home, cry and sleep!!!! And eat… and surf in the internet, obvious!!!!

Obvious… this is the word!!! I guess what I’m feeling and showing about what I want is so obvious!!! But, this look like obvius only for me…

I know I saying the same thing in a several ways but what I can do??? I very sad about all of this and I don’t like to feel sad, is so no-me!!!! Is strange for me feel sad… I always was a happy person… the one who always try to make the people smile… even if I have to do some really stuped!!! Or a  nonsense joke!!!! Yeah, this is me… not this!!!! Not the way I’m now… I need to get out of here!!! Not only here… about space!!! Here = my life now!!!! I know this is a strong word… but I hate my life the way is now!!!!! And I hate more because I hate to hate!!!! Oh my, I’m losing my mind!!!!

What I should do?!?! I really want to know… I need to make my mind up!!! About everything… job, education, love… life!!!!

About love, again… better not cause I almost crying and I don’t want cry here in my job!!! Maybe in the bathroom =P

I need to speak with someone… but my real friends are far away from here… the one who I really wants to speaks is 600km from here!!!! And I don’t think speak with my mom is the right think… cause she not have my age anymore and I need someone woh gets me!!!!

Ok… I know, I should speak with my boyfriend… then I show him the obvious and maybe he can helps me!!! I hope so… aaaaannnddd doing this, I’ll have less work!!!! But I too coward to speak with him… he’ll do that face and start to make jokes and this will piss me off and I stop to speak!!! See… that is the why we don’t talk about serious thinks…

Oh my… I was wondering if someday I’ll say my fionce (? for man is fionce too?) photos… *aiai*

So, this one I need to save… and publish!!!! Maybe he discovered and read… I know I don’t like the people who I know read the thinks I write… especially in english (unless letter/e-mail directly to the person)!!! But if he ready this maybe… is a little maybe, he can see the obvious!!!

I know if you’re reading this, you know you’re the ‘he’ here!!! So, please talk to me… You didn’t promiss me you won’t look for this!!! But I think you forget… like you always do!!! And want know… this is another thing I really hate!!!! And hate is not a strong word here!!! Is exactly what I want say… But you know I love you!!!!

And I hope you can undestand me when I can speak with you… I know you won’t understand and to the victim like I’m the worst person in the word!!! But I’m tired about this too…

Well, is better I stop by here, because if I continous I really will be the worst person in the word!!!!

Nha… how strange am I… keep writing directly for a person thinking he’ll never read!!!! Or will… who knows!!!

Oh, sorry about my type mistakes…. I think there a lot of there here!!! And a lot of grammar mistakes too but I’m writing without a dictionary!!! So… sorry!!!!

Bye-bye…

Untill someday!!!!!

Oh my… I hate the ideia I can’t use the internet at work!!! So, I only can write in weekend and holidays!!!! Boring….

Well… when I say every day something worst happens in my job I not kidding!!! Yesterday I almost sign a warning cause I came 10 minutes after time!!! But, falling the law, I have ten minutes/ day for later!!! Then I don’t sign….

Now, told me… who is the kind of person looks the registration of time after a holiday and make a warning because of 10 minutes!!! Come on….

Well, I just know that… when I get a new job I’ll say bye-bye to this one without think in the company!!!!

Nice weekend!!!!

Bye-bye….

Until…. I don’t know when!!!!

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