its crazy how certain things in your life affect who you’ll be tomorrow…. lately, this year i have been living life for the future…. “why clean today, i’ll clean tomorrow”…. why see my friends this weekend i’d rather lay on the couch and be lazy today-ill see them next week”….. but then an un expected death happens in your life and you realize and rethink it all-everything and you say…. why am i waiting?…… everyday im afraid to sit down theres so much to be done… yea i have a to do list but its always gonna be there and i shouldnt get down abotu it… sometimes people who have a list stick to it  and dont do anything except try to cross stuff off it (my husband) and others realize its alsways going to be there and take their time to do any of it (myself)…………with the unexpected death of my 19 year old brother i have finally come back to earth…..

we need to enjoy every day , we need to spend time with our families, their the only ones we have , after all we never know how long we’re here for

rule of thumb….. never ask a girl if she is  pregnant unless she is wearing a bun in the oven  shirt!!

this week i had to help my husband’s family bury their 19 yr old son but as horrible as it was i couldnt believe the number of people (3 to be exact-1 was a pastor) whom had asked me with a bright smile…. “HOW MANY MONTHS ARE YOU?”….. how do you react, i tried to keep my cool and politely just said “no”

 seriously?… you are a perfect stranger… i never met you before… how dare you insult me like that!… i admit i gained a bit but i have been working my butt off (literally) trying to lose my weight!…. so i have a little tummy… but what of it?!   so a girl isnt allowed to be a lil chunk w/o worrying about the insults of people thinking you could only be pregnant… my husband says its b/c of my small frame, dainty wrist and thining face… i agree all of my weight dropped from top down but still … i shouldnt have my days ruined by ignorant people….. the saddest part is when i would reply no im not they would sometimes just against again… “oh i said how many months” like it was unbelieveable that i was really just fat…… the worst is after i cried to several friends whom also have or once were a but chunk they said people would ask them as well…. what is wrong with people!?!… this is what drives women into eating disorders!