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I’m Just Disappointed with the World right Now….((ranting.))

October 8th, 2008 by lochnessa:hellokitty.com

I can’t understand it.  I can’t stand it.  Why are people so…..undependable? It’s like I can’t make more than three dependable friends ever. I was already really mad from two days ago, because this girl who was supposed to be my friend practically kicked me to the curb. She would always come to my house and chill with me and my sisters and eat our food and dinner with us. She’s been telling everyone that her birthday is coming up, and her party was gonna be so chill and all. So, she comes to my bus stop the other day, and gives this guy an invitation, says hi to me, then completely turns her back to me, and talks to him. He’s like “Well, are you gonna give her one?” He’s a freshman, and barely knows her, and me and her are juniors and know each other pretty well(or so I thought) and she’s just ignoring me. I was pissed, and I was like I didn’t wanna go anyway. I had stuff to do. ((that part was true. lol)) But she gets in class with me and just acts like nothing is wrong, and I’m not really talking to her, and she came to my bus stop again today and tried to talk to me, but I don’t really want to be friends with her. So that’s disappointment number one. Number two is my mom. Again. She always promises me things but postpones them till it’s really REALLY frustrating. I babysat for some kids at the church and my sisters like a month ago, and the church kid’s parents didn’t even really tell me. I did a good job, and she said she’d give me thirty dollars, and I just asked for a new jacket, and she was like okay. I want the jacket, and that’s it, that’s all I want, but all she does is put it off and get mad at me for bringing it up. I guess that’s how much she really cares that the house didn’t burn down while they were gone, and everyone is still alive and fine. <_< I’m so sick of always being the last priority.I just hate my sister right now. I won’t even get INTO that. It’s so sick, I want to just bang my head against the wall.  UGH I can’t stand people, I wish I was just a plant sometimes. I love Jesus, and he’s like all I have right now, and three friends that actually listen, and don’t just USE me. UGHHHH.

SCHOOL is OVAR! ;D

June 13th, 2008 by lochnessa:hellokitty.com

I’m so happy. No lie. It’s crazy. Shoulda seen me yesterday in third block, right before the bell rang. lol. So I went home, and went to sleep. Like I do every day. ;D And even so, I was like, I’m gonna sleep in late tomorrow, but this morning I still woke up at six forty. ;o It was kinda weird. lol. I guess I’m still in school-mode. But since I couldn’t go back to sleep, I started cleaning and stuff, because that’s what my mom wanted to get done today. ;o We’re going to the mall after all! (( I was really kinda off last time I posted, and she has cooled down some, and she’s gonna take me, and we’re gonna get some sushi too. ;) )) But first we have to pick up my little sister, she went to get her hair done. My dad and my other sister went to my grannys house with some other lady.

That lady was kinda weird. ;o She kept calling my by my little sisters name, and she didn’t believe I was really how old I was. Then she went off into how they had prearranged marriages in other countries, and how she didn’t know I was so close to her son’s age, and how I never met her son, and whatever. I hope she wasn’t implying on some prearranged marriage between me and her son. This is America, lady. ;) I definitely wouldn’t go for that. But still, if she’s trying to set something like that up for her son, I can’t really help but feel sorry for him. It’s…..i dunno…weird. But maybe he wants it that way, I guess I shouldn’t just jump to the conclusion that he’s against it. It’s really none of my buisiness. lol.

But anyway, besides all that, the Tour starts next weekend! I’m really excited!! I have to get all my stuff together…@_@ But I won’t go all into that now. ;D Besides, I have something else to put before I stop! I made a new OC! Her name is Miiru (( no typo. there really are two I’s lol.)). This is a drawing I did of her. Just a rough, i’ll ink and color it later. :D Tell me how to fix her up. ;D

Miiru

I feel all….ugh-like. Mommie-dearest issues. ;D

June 8th, 2008 by lochnessa:hellokitty.com

I wanna go to the mall with my mom. I don’t want to buy anything, I just want to spend time with my mom. For real. I guess maybe I’m just jealous of how cool one of my friends is with her mom, they go to the mall all the time, and have lots of fun and whatevar, but when I go with my mom, it’s like she doesn’t like it. I don’t know why. :o So I asked why she didn’t like it so much, and she got all pissed with me, but fish, she’s my mom, and this is the internet, so I won’t go into detail, lol.

But still. I feel all bad, and selfish now . She says she’s too tired to go to the mall. The first thing I thought was ‘too tired to hang out with me’ but I didn’t say it, cuz that’s disrespectful-esque, right? I don’t really say any of what I think to them. It’s really…..frustrating, because she doesn’t really get it. I think she thinks she does, but she really doesn’t. All I wanted was to just chill out with her, y’know, she’s my mom! But if she doesn’t want to, and she goes just to make me be quiet, she’ll just stand there while I look at stuff, and cross her arms and have that general “I don’t wanna be here”look, y’know? It’s not cool. I want her to come and have fun. I want it to be fun. But we’re not into the same stuff, so it’s just….ugh…x.X.

So I was all….cleanin and foldin clothes and dryin dishes and all, and trying to clean up, so she wouldn’t be so stressed out and all, but she just got mad at me, I musta overkilled it or whatever. It’s like I can’t do stuff right ever. Sucks lots, yo. D; And she was tellin me how she always brings me stuff like frappuchinos and candy and sushi and stuff, and how come I don’t ever think that’s enough and stuff. I appreciate it and all, but spending money isn’t the same as spending time, right? I guess I’m wrong, and that’s the only thing I can assume, because I’m the only one I can go by. Everytime I try to say something to her, she interrupts, and makes me feel worse. I feel like a monster. ((not the cool lochnessa one I am, a sucky one that’s selfish and not coo. at all. )) I don’t know what to do, my dad says the christlike thing to do is go apologise, and I know he’s right, but………I don’t think I can do it. I haven’t done it yet. xD

That’s it I guess…..lol. I’ll think about it some more, and try to do what my dad says. Cuz i know he’s right, even though I don’t like it. lol.

Last Week of School!!! *suspense*

June 7th, 2008 by lochnessa:hellokitty.com

I’m obviously not a regular blogger. ;) But whatever. SO. Final exams are next week, and I’m freakin out. I’m not really worried about the Biology one, or the History one, but the precalc will KILL me, and the spanish one is…….uh, not so sure about that one. I’m terrible at math. I’m gonna fail. Like, no lie. It’s pretty sad, really. I’m just gonna study as much as possible, and that’ll be that.

Other than that, I’m gonna be on tour with some of my old friends this summer! We’re gonna traverse the country….witnessing about Jesus to people, doing plays, and it’s gonna be fun and amazing and stuff. ;D I can’t wait. I’ve been pretty frustrated with some people lately though, cuz they’re all….”are you sure you’re gonna be okay? You’ll call home scared after a day” It pisses me off, but whatever, i try not to say anything because I’ll be gone eventually anyway. ;D The bad thing about it though is that it’s all summer, and I won’t have time to do anything else. I’m gonna miss my little sister’s birthday, and that’s sad. D;

It’s gonna be really interesting! ;D I really wanna make a series of blog posts the entire time I’m there, ((maybe in weekly intervals? or maybe less than a week, I’m not entirely sure….)) but i’m gonna do what I can. ;D Read if you want, if you don’t then oh well, I won’t stress over it. ;>

Last, I’m gonna start posting some of my drawings. ;D I’m a kind of sucky artist, but I wanna see what some of you cool peeps here think about it. ;D But next time. I have to draw something specific for here. Just for this blog. hoyes. ;D It’s gonna be fun, just like everything else will be this summer. ;D

K, this is getting long. I guess I’ll stop. Lawl. Be good now, kthxbai!

Whoa….never had a blog before…

June 3rd, 2008 by lochnessa:hellokitty.com

THATS A LIE.

;D A boldfaced one. I had a blog at livejournal, deadjournal, xanga, lots of stuff, before this. But they weren’t nearly as cute or amazing or funn-iful as this! ;D It makes me smile. And the email address that comes with it?! Full of WIN! ily sanrio-san! ((i say that like sanrio is a person, and not a company)) ;D

Anyway, since this is my first post, i thought I’d introduce myself. I’m Vanessa. That’s all you need. Get it? ((lochNESSA)) ;D

that’s it. bye! ;D

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