I wonder if you’re listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don’t really know what’s going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here

~last train home

I haven’t exactly figured out how someone mentally hurts.. Or how exactly they seem to feel it.. Is the main source of it in your chest? Cause thats where I’m feeling it and my stomach feels sick. As for the rest of my body.. its numb. Walking around like a zombie. Thinking is making me sick. Having to get up is useless. Lying there makes me think. Music is my savior. This probably really isnt the place to write this all out. But I’ve thrown away my dairy cause all of it really seems to hurt.. all of the memories in there I honestly don’t really want to remember. Its weird how I finally decided to be good and faithful then this happens.. maybe I shouldn’t have.. This always happens, when I decide to give it all to one person they just go and have to screw it up… like it isnt nothing but a thing. I dont think I can ever look at him the same anymore.. ever.