did i ever mention i have a 4 personalities..

normal

warfreak

moodswinger

snob

usually I’m on normal mode but when unexpected feelings are needed the war freak person inside of me becomes dominant..

a little while ago, i had a short, funny and weird conversation with someone..and words that are not meant to be said arose..

he told me i was too talkative after saying things i didn’t want to say and saying things on my mind that was intended for thinking..

i was definitely speaking my mind..

but i must say..there is nothing to regret..everything is for something better..

and i know better days are coming..

i am kind of excited and scared..

i just hope i could accept whatever comes my way..

and oh..about the other personalities..^_^

moodswinger..its like i am always, always irritated..for unknown reasons..hehe

and for the last one..snob..

well i think that, aside from being normal, if we’re not friends or if i dont know you..like not an acquaintance, then i’d probably pass talking with you..

hehe

i guess im pretty unpredictable..

but this blog makes me understood..

i guess..

i hope..^_^

better days are coming..

i’m loving it!!

tama nga siguro sila..

sabi ng mga tao, ipaglaban mo at wag susuko.. per sa palagay ko, hindi na dapat kung umpisa pa lang kapos ka na sa bala..

dati naiisip isip ko lang, ngayon nangyari na talaga..

mag isa na ako ulit pero hindi ibig sabihin ay tumigil na ang mundo para sa akin.. may pangarap pa rin ako at pag-asang sasaya muli.

totoo nga na mararamdaman mo lang ulit ang kaligayahan kapag nakaranas ka ng kalungkutan..

doon mo lang kasi maihahambing at doon mo lang mapapatunayan at malalaman na masaya ka nga..

masaya ako ngayon at palagay ko naman ay tama ang desisyon ko..

ako ang lumayo dahil hindi na ako kailangan. siguro paraan ko na rin yoon para ipagtanggol ang nararamdaman niya.

malamang matatawag iyong unconditional..

matured break-up and tawag ko dito, ang gusto kong itawag dito..pinagisipan kong maigi, ng isang buong araw, ang mga gagawin ko..

ayokong umasa at sinisiksik ko sa puso’t isip na hindi ako aasa..

pero paano mo nga naman magagawa yoon kung sa dalawang taon ay ang pinangarap mo lang ay ang makita ang mukha niya sa iyong pag gising sa bawat araw na gigising ka?

mahirap!

napakahirap!

pero kaya ko.

alam kong kaya ko.

mayroon naman akong consolation prize.

magkaibigan kami at hindi namin inaalis ang posibilidad ng “baka balang araw” at “kung tayo, magiging tayo” pananaw.

siguro’y sapat na iyon para makahinga ng ilan pang taon..

sabi ko sa sariliko..

hindi ko ipagsisiksikan ans aking sarili..sa KAHIT SINO..KAHIT KAINLAN!

buti naman at hindi ko nabigo ang sarili ko..

ang mga magagandang araw ay parating na..ramdam na ramdam ko..

malapit na akong magtapos ng pag-aaral at sa tingin ko naman ay hindi ako gaano mahihirapan sa mga susunod pang pagsubok..

malakas ako..matatag ako..yan ang mga pinapaalala ko sa aking sarili tuwing nagiisa..

bata pa ako at marami pang mangyayari..

masarap ang kalayaan, kung minsan nga’y iniisip kong sana magtagal ang ganitong yugto ng buhay ko..maraming bagay ang nagpapaligaya sakin..siguro’y kasama na rin ay ang pagtanggi ko sa ideyang may malungkot na pangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon..

hindi muna ako iiyak.. sa susunod nalang siguro..pag naramadaman ko na ang tunay na pangungulila..

buti nalang at maraming nagmamahal at nagpapahalaga sa akin, kundi, malamang isa na ako sa mga taong naipit sa EDSA..

mga hindi maka-move on!

^_^

let me love you one last time and i hope you’ll keep this memory till we part..

it pains me to even imagine not having your love and attention..

now that i finally know that i am just some you care about..and not someone you love..

i will remember you..

i will remember us..

i just found something i wrote a long time ago..

and it never fails to surprise me because every time i read something i wrote, it feels like someone else did it..

***here it is***

all he ever been was pain.

he left with a promise to come back. but when he finally did, i just never knew.

i waited until waiting was routinary then i stopped.

technology is such a great help and such a problem. both occuring at the same time.

great help because i finally saw what i was waiting for and a problem because i didnt want what i saw. i saw him happy.

happy with someone else.

and i? what am i to do? be happy of course.

i tried. tried and tried and still trying.

i confessed. confessed everything there is to tell. the waiting, the agony, the hate. but i was happy because he answered me back. he was not waiting, nor in deep agony, or even created hatred. he just missed me like hell. that was enough to live for a day.

and how about for the days to come? i had to worry. because i’m supposed to be happy. and i found happiness with someone else. but heaven is with him.

i am no environmentalist. that’s for sure..

but i feel that it wouldn’t really hurt to have a little bit of concern when it comes to our environment..

as a kid, i was told to put my trash in the right place..which means that if i don’t see a trash bin then i would, most likely, keep the trash in my bag or hold it..but NEVER EVER throw it on the street..

i once heard “the street is on a diet, feed the trash can instead”..and i totally agree..

we shouldn’t be careless when it comes to cleanliness..its very simple and easy..there’s no reason for not trying..

i have some questions..

is it hard to wait till you see a proper place, i.e. trash bin, to put your garbage in?

is it that hard to keep the environment clean?

and to think that parents wants their children to clean up their rooms, tidy up their things, and be neat with their clothes..

i have noticed that in our country, the middle aged and above has minimum concern or worse, no concern at all when it comes to cleanliness of the surroundings..

a common observation is the cigarette butt..after using it, after POLLUTING the AIR they do more harm by POLLUTING the EARTH..they throw it like it wont matter..maybe because their argument is that its just a piece of trash..

but maybe they should realize what this little trash can do..

this is the ultimate end of all those little trash they’re talking about..

would it really, really hurt to dispose of it properly??

i know one result..it would really, REALLY hurt if our garbage and little trash wont be disposed of properly..

and what about the common complaints of the people about flood?why do we experience flood anyway?

well folks one reason would be that little trash we’re talking about..it clogs our drainage system, and to think that we’re blaming the government and saying that they’re not doing anything..

the fact is, its us that’s doing this to ourselves..

we litter then we suffer..

so i would like to remind the people of the Philippines to once again remember your elementary days when you strongly believed in cleanliness..

PLEASE PUT YOUR TRASH IN THEIR PROPER PLACES.

we wouldn’t be so pissed complaining about dirty air, dirty water and dirty streets if we have the motivation to keep it clean..