wow what a grrreat sunday im gonna have,
without talking to you,
without seeing you,
without you by my side when i sleep at night,
and without seeing you first thing when i wake up on monday morning.

how nice :(

i think im not very important to you hor?

you never fail to think about yourself first, always.

when i waited for more than half an hour for a cab and was freaking late for my exam, did you wake up to send me to school?
no its not the issue about me not asking. you should have thought of it.

it doesnt really matter to you that i have a slight gastric problem but you sent me home without sending me to eat first, when i told you im hungry but proceeded to fall asleep on the bike, AND THEN you went to meet your friend to eat?

your off days are always very important to you and you can skip sleep and go out.
but you seldom think of me first. you will always think of your friends.

usually when you have work the next day, you will sleep early but if you can go out with your friends and then sleep lesser, why you didnt think of coming to fetch me from work?
i dont ask you to fetch me from work on weekdays cause i know you need the sleep.
but if you can sacrifice sleep for your friends. why not for me too?

i should be your girlfriend, your companion, your playmate and your best friend.
but i guess im not even your friend if my importance to you is lesser than your games and your friends.

i always sacrifice my stuffs to help you in any way i can.
but you never think about it one right?
to you, its just “a right thing” for me to do, right?

the are too many issues to state.
i think you know it better yourself.
why am i not imporant?
enlighten me.

someone please lend me $1k to do my teeth. T.T
im serious.

just read Denise’s blog.
a quote from one of her July’s post:
“Looked thru Yuling’s blog, shes falling deeply in love with her bf, Alfred.”

and i looked at my July entries. (:
i feel happier now cause i felt my happiness then, at that point of time.

why cant things stay the same?
must you always give me your undivided attention one minute, and the next you’re pretending to not hear what i say?
it gets frustrating at times.

my in-charge at work received a bouquet of flowers today.
so sweet and romantic of her husband.

it really touches the heart when you know your guy appreciates you and remembers you as someone important to him.
we girls are not mind-readers.
yes, so you appreciate us.
but the important thing is, did you let us know that?

even though i can predict your reactions and finish your sentences, it doesnt mean i can read your mind at ALL times.
is it so hard to let someone know that you see and feel and feel grateful, for all that she’s done for you? and that you love her in return?
it doesnt take much.
and by doing that, you are helping the relationship too.

can you guys ever understand where we girls are coming from?

im going crazy from all the depressed thoughts.
hubby, its not too hard to help me you know.

omg stalker alert.
someone actually sent me 3 friendster messages over a short span of 3 minutes!

i actually knew this person during my secondary school days.
he was ALWAYS chasing after girls.
well, if YOU are reading this, i guess you should know im talking about you.

he actually bought me a birthday present when we werent even close.
and kept calling me to meet him to collect my present.
somehow, i got very pissed.
and when i saw him during “recess” at the parade square in school, i actually told him off and sort of screamed my head off at him.

i dont know where my anger came from and i bet Manda tongxiang who was beside me, was quite shocked. lol.

and so, he messaged me in Friendster asking if i am free on Sunday to have dinner.
i thought of not replying, but just give face as i really did sort of “knew” him during sec school days.
so i replied 2 words “no sorry”
and he sent me that 3 messages in 3 mins time.
1st msg: “den when u free?”
2nd msg: “u got msn?”
3rd msg: “wanna go watch movie now? hahaz”

hellooooo you are like desperate here.
i will not be free for you.
and yes i do have msn but its not for you to know.
movie? with you? im sorry i have better things to do.

sorry to be so blunt but hey, you always talk to girls that you dont know and try to chat them up.
yes we know you’re rich.
but it doesnt matter to me anyway.
you always look at appearance before knowing a girl.
and guess what? girls look at your appearance too. (:

it sucks so much to be me.

i didnt know i could feel so lost when i’m attached.
i bet you guys only see me lost and down after a breakup.

why do i feel so depressed.
even though im temporarily already done with my studies, I STILL FEEL SO STRESSED.

i’ve never come to a point in life where i feel so tired.
literally tired of life.

i’ve this urge to just pack my bags and go to somewhere far away.
and not come back.

have had enough of all these.
seriously.

im such a complete failure.

i’ve failed in my education and have not been as responsible as i could have been at work.
i’ve failed as a friend, in meeting up with the ones whom i value and also i did not even manage to communicate with them.
i’ve failed as a family member, in not spending enough time at home to talk and bond with them.
i’ve failed as a girlfriend, in every single thing i did for him. cause if he doesnt really react or appreciate, or even comment on the things i do, i guess i have not been doing enough.

it doesnt feel like im a part of you even though im physically beside you almost everyday.

in conclusion i’ve failed every single thing in my life.
im a loser.

if ever one day i become uncontactable,
dont try to find me.
cause i might not come back.

maybe everything i do is just redundant and unappreciated.
its okay.
fine.
my efforts are nothing.

wooooo. KRR15o !!!!!! :DD

tell me why Why WHY you cant stop lying to me!!?????

exam over! (:

given the chance to go back in time,
i would have really put in effort during my 3 years in NP and now i would already have been in either in my dream school NUS, or in NTU.

instead of still struggling on like this.

right now, i really feel like studying.
study what doesnt matter i guess.
i just wanna put in my all and get good results.
but the thing is i really need money right now.

guess i have to give up hope of furthering studies now.
what i need now is a full time job.
doubt my family can support my education in a private Uni.
gotta work and save up myself.
to clear my debts for my dental, and also to save up for my education.

and i still owe alot of close friends birthday presents.

sighs.
life is never easy.

i love my job right now, but i hate giving up my weekends for work.
also this job starts at 1pm, which allows me to stay up late. me likes. as im usually in front of my com till at least 2, 3am before i sleep.

but guess i shld get myself a proper mon-fri job. that way i have time for bf on weekends and also if my friends date me out at least i would be free.

things i really really need to do before i get myself a full time job:
- meet my salmon crazed pie Vivi for our back scrub spa!
- meet Wenling!!!