nice song. old though (:

Westlife - I Miss You

I can’t sleep, I just can’t breathe
when your shadow is all over me baby
don’t wanna be, a fool in your eyes
‘cause what we had was built on lies

and when our love seems to fade away
listen to me hear what I say

I don’t wanna feel
the way that I do
I just wanna be
right here with you
I don’t wanna see
see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you…

what would it take, for you to see
to make you understand that I’ll
always believe
you and I, can make it through
and I still know, I can’t get over you

‘cause when our love seems to fade away
listen to me hear what I say

I don’t wanna feel
the way that I do
I just wanna be
right here with you
I don’t wanna see
see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
oh baby I miss you, I do…

cancelled on both Ethan and Gary bro that day due to cramps.

met Yan and Ave on wed at Lot 1 for sashimi and sushi!
then went DXO patio to drink after that. Ace came to join us. (:
Ave got a lil tipsy and we kept making fun of her.
wahahha.

thurs met Ace and Brandon in town.
we went to Orchard Towers to take a look.
hahaha. Brandon was so intrigued by the vibrator we saw in the sex shop LOL.
and he’s damn good at acting innocent!
then went starbucks for coffee!
after that we were stupidly waiting for bus til we realised its Thursday and there’s no Night Rider bus home. so we all shared a cab home.
i slept over at Ace’s place.
his sister and her friend are so funny lol.

fri we went DXO patio again.
we = Ace, Brandon, Aveline and me.
drank 3 towers.
the alcohol made all of us super sleepy.
but we still managed to tease Ave anyway hahaha.

Brandon managed to catch NR1 back home.
the rest of us had to take cab.
didnt get enough sleep these days T.T
and tonight going clubbing with colleagues cause after 12mn it will be Ace’s 19th birthday.

ACE, ALL UR FAULT! IM NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP! lol.
and i havent been able to play audition for the past 2-3 days already. eeks

went for facial and pedicure with Fel and her classmate Claire last tues.
but had breakout like 2 days after that cause of PMS i think. zzz.
wasted efforts.

Ace managed to persuade me to go clubbing on sat.
initially Eugene Chan and his gf were going but in the end they didnt go.
went Phuture, and he sent me home after that. thanks (:

met Sherlene on sunday.
went Paya Lebar to look for bags but cant find nice bags there anymore.
what a disappointment.

then met up with Medic (Eugene) and Martin last night.
went Timbre to chillout.
found out that Erdinger is very smooth to down!
Martin’s gf was supposed to come but in the end didnt get to see her.
went back home at 11+.
had cramps and headache at the same time.
got Gary lil bro to call me on my way home.
cause my hp died on me when i was leaving house and i was using my mum’s hp then. so i was super bored as i dont even have my mp3 or a book to accompany me home.

so he called, and made me laughed all the way home.
that idiot. lol.

was supposed to go facial again today. but due to my breakout i shall stop for a week.
meeting baby bro Ethan later for dinner, and maybe a midnight movie with Gary. (:

havent been blogging about my life.
was too caught up in my own feelings.
anyway just came back from Gifford’s birthday chalet!
slept only 4 hours and now i gotta prepare for work. T.T

Gifford is one of the students i led during the camp.
my beloved lil bro went too- the lil 17 year old Gary. haha

did silly things and keep making people laugh, esp during mahjong.
eeeks, people actually thought Gary and I were an item. =.=
lol little boys aint my type man.
Gifford’s eldest sis said we looked alike, and that if i said i was his sister, she would actually believe it.
but, she said Gary looked older.
like OMG. lol he’s so young la!
but then again, Gifford friends said i look 16. like errr…… ok.

i drank a can of beer only, and i dunno how much alcohol Gary had
but he looked super red la.
he ran in when we were singing and came to sit beside me, complaining of tiredness.
then very auto lie on my shoulders to sleep =.=
i used my hp cam to let him see how red he was and he said to take a pic.
so we did.

he looks so retarded la LOL.

i invited Jeffrey to the chalet too.
and he attempted to do “13-yao”.

he tried like 3 times but each time he failed lol.

oh ya.
everybody was lying to me about smoking.
zzz. Gary, and Jeffrey.
two big idiots.
you guys better keep your words about quitting.

i realised, why shld i care about forever?
i shld be happy that i once had him.
and his gentle love that made me feel like the happiest girl on earth.
thats enough. (:

anyway i did something stupid that im sure will make him ignore me forever.
girls are just stupid when it comes to love.
grr, why.

anyway, im so done with being miserable.
enlightened.
i was so caught up with misery that i stopped moving with the world.

im still Yuling. still myself.
life goes on. (:

you’re gradually fading away.
even as i think of you, the memory of your face is blurry.

im slowly losing all of you…

sigh, i hate all my depressing posts.

i know you’ll never come back.
it seems like deja vu.
even when i gave out all my heart and soul,
it doesnt matter to you..

i doubt u still read my blog anyway.
but if you do, please take care.
i’ve given up on trying to try as friends.
it dont seem very possible.

everything we shared, seems to be a figment of my imagination.
cause to you, it seems like nothing ever happened before.

anyway, here’s a song.


Rihanna - Hate That I Love You (feat. Ne-Yo)

[Rihanna (Ne-Yo):]
That’s how much I love you (yeah)
That’s how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And I can’t stand ya
Must everything you do
make me wanna smile
Can I not like it for awhile
No..

[Ne-Yo:]
but you won’t let me
You upset me girl
then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget
that I was upset
Can’t remember what you did

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it

[Rihanna:]
You know exactly what to do
So that I can’t stay mad at you
For too long, that’s wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
Girl, I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don’t wanna fuss and fight no more
So I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna (Ne-Yo):]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah)
I can’t stand how much I need you (I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (ooh)
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so..

[Ne-Yo:]
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me..

[Rihanna:]
That’s how much I love you
How much I need you
That’s how much I need you
That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you

[Rihanna (Ne-Yo):]
And I hate that I love you sooo…
And I hate how much I love you boy (Hey)
I can’t stand how much I need you (I can’t stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah…ooh)
But I just can’t let you go (But I just can’t let you go, no)
And I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
And I hate that I love you so.. so..

hmmm suddenly remembered something.
when i was in sentosa i suddenly had the urge to msg him.
and so i did.
his reply was very normal la. and after i told him to take care, he stopped replying.

the friendship is almost non-existent now.
why did things turn out like this?
sometimes i wished we never started as a couple, at least now we wont be so hostile.

yet sometimes i miss you so much.
i wonder whats wrong with me.
its not even a month, is it so hard to let go?

why am i still holding on when all’s already lost?

weeee. here’s pics from camp.

i didnt filter out the photos at all.
haha ugly then ugly bah.
luckily we had to take photos of our team at every substation of the sentosa games.
thats where most of these pictures came about.

errr, what was i doing?

us doing our silly antics. we love to act cool!

this is how Team 6 looks at the time!!

the clearest group pic

only place where cactus grows in Sentosa.

at Songs of the Sea. look at my tired eyes.

Merlion Shop

Images of Singapore

Sky Tower- 131m above sea level!

the shark that does not live in the sea

fishy massage

the day the camp ended, i msged all 10members of Team 6 expressing gratitude for the fun-filled 3d2n, and only 3 replied!!!

lol thanks Gifford, Claudia and Jing Yi.

but i gotta thank Gary too la.
he only knew me 3 days ago, but he shares his problems with me.
truly my lil bro. lovelove. (:

it was the first time i got to lead a group in camp.
and it’s really an enriching experience.
looking forward to more! :D

oh ya, here’s something random.
there’s recently this prank call thing published on newspaper.
u call this particular number and someone will pick up and say in hokkien that he has lost his head and will get back to you when he finds it.

my dad is crazy lor. =.=
he smses me, saying that his batt is gonna be flat and wants me to call a number urgently.
so i called.
but i only got the mailbox la.
then called my dad back and he told me about it.
=.= my dad is super bo liao. lol.

i think i should make a habit of setting my alarms in the evening.
the day before my camp i started packing at like 1am+
chatted and chatted while packing and after i finished packing which was like 4 - 5am+, i went to lie on my bed to rest, while thinking if i missed out anything.
and i promptly fell asleep, WITHOUT SETTING MY ALARM.

was supposed to report in school at 9am to prepare for the camp together with the rest of the main comm people from BE Society, but i woke up only at 940am.
got a shock, and rushed to prepare, then rushed down to school in a cab.

well, at least i still made it in time before the participants came down. phew.
the participants only had to arrive at 12pm. nice camp right? (:

hmm, i really think im a failure as the Vice President of the club. i dont think that all the main comm people know me as their VP. i need to start turning up more. and i really wanna try to be as involved as possible.

anyway the 3d2n camp was fun, really.
initially i was afraid i wouldnt get to participate in the camp much (cause i thought i would be game station master or something like that)
cause i dont really attend meetings alot, so my committee members dont know me well.
somemore im so fair now, that nobody would think im a sporty kind of person.
but i was fortunate to have been chosen to be one of the student leaders. and i was really very glad.

was afraid i couldnt lead well. cause i cant even give them decent ideas for cheers, etc. needed to rely on help. (thank you Ave for helping to write cheers for me)
and i didnt know my fellow Student Leader at all so was kinda afraid we couldnt work well together.
but we made it nevertheless, and i love my team alot.

now, people, stop reading here if you want to, cause its gonna be a long longgg post.

TEAM 6 - LAP SUP ZUI!!!

haha yes thats our team name, Lap Sup Zui, “Dirty Water” in hokkien.
we were all joking around while brainstorming for ideas. Fellow SL, Geryll, kept thinking of names with the word barbie in it (pig in malay). names like Water Barbie, etc.
so i just burst out with Lap Sup Zui. haha and we all cracked up again.
continued brainstorming for group names, and in the end we ended up with Lap Sup Zui, i dont know why too. lol.

i forgot to take picture of our flag. was really ugly initially.
we didnt have any idea how to draw, and we just painted on impulse.
a stickman with a spiderweb-like gential area, in a pool of dirty water.
and the flag just didnt make sense. everything was untidy, messy and ugly.
but its kind of cute in a ugly way, and Geryll and the others managed to salvage it in the end, making it look rather decent. (:

we only had to think of one cheer, but we didnt use it in the end also la lol.
only performed our cheer during pitching, where all the groups had to present their flag and group name, and why we chose that name and the flag design.
Gary led the cheer. and it goes like this:

Gary: I say Lap Sup you say oooh. Lap Sup?
Team 6: OOOH!
Gary: Lap Sup
Team 6: OOOH!
Gary: I say Lap Sup you say lah. Lap Sup?
Team 6: LAH!
Gary: Lap Sup
Team 6: LAH!
Gary: I say Lap Sup you say oooh, I say Lap Sup you say lah.
Gary: Lap Sup
Team 6: OOOH
Gary: Lap Sup
Team 6: LAH
ALL: LAP SUP LAP SUP OOOH LALA~

then we all held our mini hand flags, closed our eyes and chanted “MMMMM…”
(like the mini hand flag is our wand, and as if we’re casting a spell on the audience)
and after bout 4 secs we pointed our “wands” at the audience and shouted “LAP SUP!!!”
hahahaha it sure was a sight. i hope its taken down on video. if there’s a chance i’ll post it here. thats if it was taken down on video la lol.

i really like my team, cause they’re all rather spontaneous and enthusiastic.
and all are sporting, nobody ever said “eeww, i will not do this!”.

Day 2 was spent in Sentosa for the AmoVour Hunt, which was something like amazing race.
we ran, really ran, all around Sentosa. lol
now im aching all over. i cant walk fast now cause it hurts lol.
and we had a surprise reward at the end of it, which was to watch the Songs of the Sea.

http://www.sentosa.com.sg/explore_sentosa/attractions/songs_of_the_sea.html

i didnt take pictures cause my hp cam quality sucks.
it would have been romantic if watching with ur partner on a date.
but after a full day of running about, everybody was just tired.
Gary was sitting beside me and we were falling asleep throughout the show. lol.

Day 3 ended with some mini games, and clearing up of the classrooms.
all the groups had a chance to dress up their SLs and decorate them with lipstick, newspapers, strings, nail polish, and paint. or whatever materials they could find.
all the male SLs became sexily clad ladies. LOL damn funny.
i was like half male and half female. i was wearing a dress made of a black trash bag and plastic food wrap. but i was wearing a cap with my hair all tucked in and holding a bat made of newspaper.

during the performance the male SLs mostly acted sexy and dance sexy dance, showing cleavage and all. doing things like blowing kisses to the audience, etc.
when it was Team 6’s turn. I came out, walking like an ah lian. then went to the centre of the circle and took off my cap, shaking my hair loose. then batted my eyelids at the audience and pulled one side of my trashbag dress down my shoulder. haha then Geryll came out and acted sexy and everything. damn funny.

i enjoyed myself at the camp.
and because everyday was tiring, i didnt skip any meals at all.
i even had supper on the 2nd night with my freshies (we ordered Mac).
haha the camp is fun cause we had freedom to do such stuffs.
and we could play card games throughout the night if you want to, nobody will stop you. just dont disturb the people sleeping.

Team 6, i really love you guys alot. thank you for giving me an unforgettable camp experience. (:

Geryll - although i didnt know you at first. you’re super crappy and fun to be with. and you’re smart, helping us alot during our games in Sentosa. and you and your barbie(s) kept cracking us up! and thanks so much for the Ben & Jerry treat at Sentosa. (:

Claudia - red-head. haha her red and long hair totally makes her stand out. pretty girl with feminine features.

Jing Yi - tall girl. always with Claudia. these 2 girls are the girls i hang out with most in my group.

Fiona - lives in Bukit Panjang too! a little guy crazy. fun to be with.

Xiang Yun - hangs out with Fiona. and they are guy-crazy together. very girlie. our group cheer came from her! thanks! (: hmm, seems to be gossiping always. but dont share!! LOL. how can!

Shu Qin - good at volleyball. competitive, so she keeps the team spirits up. (:

Gifford - tall and rather big sized. nice guy who’s quite spontaneous. willing to do silly things with me too (like waving hi and bye to unknown people, esp when at Sentosa) haha.

Gary - short guy. has a cute face which just makes you wanna sayang him but at the same time you will want to tease and bully him. and he’s only 17, i totally treated him as my younger bro. he got the most of my pinches haha poor him. but he’s super joker and likes to act cool, and i do alot of stupid stuffs together with him. i like playing the game with him where you hold hands and play scissors paper stone, then winner gets to slap the loser’s hand hard. i always get red and swollen hands after playing with him lol.

Wei Jie - quiet. has delicate features that make him look slightly girlie. but he laughs together with us when i do crazy things with Gifford and Gary. he was made to dress up as a girl at one of the game stations in Sentosa. haha thanks. hope you dont mind.

Jin Gui - his name makes me think of the word “Jian Gui” (seeing ghost in Chinese). but its pronounced as “gold closet” in Chinese. he’s quiet too. but he started making jokes in Day 2. though the jokes were rather off, but great to see you improving (:

first night i slept kinda early. but 2nd night was spent talking to my group members.
as you can see, i had more to say about the guys than the girls. cause i was talking to them on the 2nd night and bonded. alot of private jokes, and i always self-entertain. which cracks them up so in a way i entertain them as well.

thank you, all of you for making the camp possible. the participants and Student Leaders and esp the main comm members of BE Society. much love <3

Pink Blog
Official FAQs of Sanriotown Blog
Fashion Blog
Director's Club