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Happy Birthday, Chuck Norris!


ChuckNorrisIt’s Chuck Norris’s birthday today!

If you haven’t heard of a single Chuck Norris joke yet, shame on you! If you have, better make sure Chuck Norris doesn’t know you’re laughing at him.XD

My top picks of Chuck Norris jokes:

  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  • There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
  • Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72 - and they’re all poisonous.
  • Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken’s famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
  • If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  • The only thing that could cut Chuck Norris Chuck Norris.
  • When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
  • On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  • The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  • Chuck Norris knows the full value of Pi.

Happy birthday, Chuck Norris! Please don’t have me for lunch.XD


Oh, and if you don’t mind, please click here. It’s the last one, I promise!

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