I can pretty much only write about this here. If I mention this on my facebook page, myspace page, or anywhere else, all the people I know in real life will read it. Then, after they read it, they will flip out.

First off, I’m just happy I had my son. He’s 6 months old now and amazing. My husband (our 4th anniversary is coming up soon) has a low sperm count. And, when I was 17 (almost 8 years ago), I had cervical cancer. Then, at the end of the pregnancy I go pre-eclamsia (BP of  160 over 99, when it’s normally 110 over 70) So, us having a wonderful boy, and the emergency c-section going fine and all, I’m just happy to have a baby.

I’m supposed to be at my most fertile within 6 months of having a baby.

I think I might be pregnant.

More back story, I was 2 months pregnant when I finally got a positive urine pregnancy test. That’s at pregnancy test number 6. I kept thinking I was pregnant. All I had to go off of was the nausea (within 2 weeks of conception) and growing belly. I even had 2 periods during the first 8 weeks.

So, now, out of no where, my belly has gotten bigger in the last few weeks. Also, about a month ago, I started getting nausea and vomiting that has been recurring. And, the final straw was last night, when I woke up in my sleep to the feeling of tiny movement in my belly.

Am I? Or is it all just in my head?

Also, number one reaction from people when I’ve told them this week that I think I might be pregnant: It’s too soon.

Is it? I’m 24. All the females on my Mom’s side of the family lost their reproductive organs in their mid-thirties. I’ve been with the same guy for 7 and a half years. It took me several years to get pregnant with my first (and currently only) son.

I saw Dr. Horrible last night, for the first time. It was amazing!!

All I can say is…   the hammer is my penis.

Oh! That movie was awesome!!

If you have Netflix, you have to watch it through streaming. It’s also only about 45 min long, so you have NO EXCUSE!

I’m not working today, but I’ve got an eye doctor appt. today. I’m also joining the Y. I have cleaning to do. I’m getting my van repaired. I also have grocery shopping to do.

Busy, busy, busy.

All while taking care of my 6-month old, super adorable son.

Off day? What off day?

I’ve been talking with my husband, and we’re trying to work out a system that makes my life a little easier.

I’m reasonable and don’t expect a 180. If he tries at all, or is at least less argumentative when I ask him to do something on occasion, that’ll make a huge difference.

Anyway, what we’ll try is giving him a few simple chores to do almost every day. I’ll remind him in the evening, when the baby is asleep, so he has fewer distractions. And, I get to join the Y, which we live next door to (literally), and I get to have at least 4 hours a week there to do whatever I please. So I can go swimming, exercise, use the sauna or jacuzzi, etc.  Even just going their and walking on a treadmill for an hour should be pleasant.

Anyway, I’m more excited about getting designated me time where Kirk watches our son than him doing a few chores every day. Even when he’s home, he gets to sit and relax more than I do. This way I get some GUARANTEED relaxation time every week. I can divvy it up however I want, but I get a non-negotiable minimum of 4 hours every week.

I’m just glad we were able to discuss things in a non-nagging manner.

I’m getting fairly mad at my hubby lately. I work 30 hours a week, and he works 40. Yet, somehow, when we’re both home, I still do ALL the housework and EVERYTHING involving taking care of the baby, including taking care of the baby in the middle of the night.

I’ve been married for 3 and a half years, and we’ve been together a total of 7 and a half years.

I’m starting to debate leaving him.

I’ve told him many times that it’s not fair for me to be doing all of the housework and childcare, on top of working, and he still doesn’t do anything.

I’ll ask him to take out the trash every day, and he won’t do it. After asking him for 5 days in a row this week, and now the trash is overflowing, I’ve taken out the trash myself today. …and that’s just one of the many, many examples I have.

If the baby starts crying in the middle of the night,and I ask him to take care of the baby, he’ll say things like, “I’m tired. Can’t you do it?” or “I don’t feel good. You take care of him.” Even if he’s had the previous day off and the day coming up off, when I have to work both days, it still happens.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve asked him many, many times to help and it doesn’t happen.

It’s sad the kind of stress having a baby can do to a relationship.

This has been a tough week. Heck, it’s been a tough month.

The 11th was the day my Mom died, 2 years ago. It was also the day my Grandma Dee died, 1 year ago. The 15th was when my Granny died, 1 year ago.

And Abigail just died on the 18th. I jut went to her funeral 2 days ago. She was 2 weeks old when she passed.

I’m a new Mom, and I only just went back to work at the end of November. I’ve missed quite a few days of work at GameStop because of babysitters bailing on me at the last minute, car troubles, and Abigail’s death. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to be fired from there shortly. The manager just put me as “on call” and the last few times he did that to employees, he ended up firing them. I’ve been working there a year and a half now, and I’ve seen him do that to quite a few seasonal workers (I worked there through 2 November-December periods).

Anyway, it’s been stressful. If not for my beautiful son, my wonderful husband, and the occasional Hello Kitty indulgence, I think I’d explode.

The new Hello Kitty tattoo I got helps a lot. I don’t know why, but looking at her just cheers me up.

Sigh… I should get going. I’ve got to get ready for work.

Well, I went and got my Hello Kitty tattoo earlier today, at around 5:30pm.  It’s super sweet.  I’ll have a pic up tomorrow.  I took some pictures today, but then my camera died. I’m lazy and don’t feel like looking for the plug-in for Pro Stick Duo cards, so I’ll just upload them from my camera tomorrow morning, after the battery is done charging.

This is only my second tattoo. My first one I got 2 years ago on the day of my Mother’s memorial.  It’s a tattoo of her name on my left ankle, with a small tear drop right below it.

The Hello Kitty tat I got is on my right wrist. Instead of black lines, I have it drawn in purple. I didn’t want anything crazy, just the plain ordinary Hello Kitty logo. I decided that since I did purple lines instead of black, that it probably wouldn’t look good filled in with white on her face or red in her bow. Anyway, I’m pretty happy with it. I might have to get it touched up later, since it isn’t in black, but it’s still pretty cool. I can’t wait until my camera is charged so I can show off my photos of it.

And it’s okay if you think my tattoo is stupid, but I figure I won’t get a lot of negative feedback here considering that most of the people that view this site are obsessed with a Sanrio character of some sort.

Side note, no I don’t think that tattoos hurt a lot. Everyone has different pain tolerances. And, just because I got a Hello Kitty tattoo doesn’t mean that I recommend one for everyone else.

——-

I decided to go ahead and pop the partially charged battery into my camera and upload the picture.

I can’t sleep, so I’m playing some HKO to pass the time.

I fell asleep on the couch with my baby a bit early and now my sleep is all out of wack. I can’t help it. You try having a cute, chubby cheeked infant sleeping on your lap and stay awake. I swear it’s like part of my subconscious to just instantly become sleepy every time I look at my son sleeping. Aw, so cuddly.

Anyway, now I can’t sleep. So, here I am growing corn on HKO. Just passing the time. Corn, corn, corn.

Whoah… I have last.fm playing on my 360 and G-Dragon is playing and they showed a picture of him with platinum blond hair and makeup. I honestly thought it was a girl.

Well, now that I have my tax return, I spent a ton of money on my little guy last night. I figure that I have this weirdly huge amount of money because this is our first kid and the lovely gov. enjoys giving more money back to parents. And boy do we need it because babies are super expensive. I bought him a lovely new crib (cheapest one they had) and mattress (again, cheapest). I also bought him a ton of diaper rash cream and other baby care products (clothes, crib sheets, etc.) We also bought a new digital camera because I love taking 30 million pictures of the little rugrat. He sneezes, I want a picture. I got some video footage of him rolling on the floor and another of him squirming in his sleep. Ah, the cuteness. On a sad note, he’s gotten a bad diaper rash. This is only the 2nd time he’s gotten a diaper rash, and he’s 5 months. I still feel horrible. He’s only had it a couple of days and I’ve tried a few different products. Today, I’ve got him wearing cloth diapers. I HATE cloth diapers because there’s so much extra work involved, but if it helps any then I’ll be happy. Anyway, sorry about the randomness all involving the baby, but he’s the light of my life.

By the way, his name is Lucien, which is pronounced “lew-shen.” It basically sounds like “Lou” and the end of “Ocean.” If you’ve even seen any of the Underworld movies, it’s the same name as the King of Werewolves.

This is my son. It’s a short video. I have tons of videos of him, but they’re all high resolution and I’d probably have to compress them somehow to post them.