there are no words to describe how i feel, but im gonna try…
hvae u ever had to break up with someone that u were completely crazy about and they were even crazier about u but something got in the way? ever picked a fight over something stupid to make it easier and have to watch their face just fall? and then have u ever made the mistake of watching them walk away afterwards? if u havent then u have no clue how im feeling. if u have, then… well, u do. but in my situation, its different cuz its 100% my fault. heres what happened.
remember when i talked about my first kiss? well after that the same guy got quite a bit better at kissingand for about 2 days life was awesome. ten my best friend told me that he was talking about me behind my back. she said that he said i was annoying and boring and a bunch of other really bad stuff. she also said she wouldnt talk to me untill i broke up with him. so i decided i would dump him. so we made plans the other day, and i walked all the way to this coffee shop by his house. i called and his sister in law said hed already left to meet me. he lives in kind of a bad neighborhood, so i was incredibly nervous. and i waited. and waited. and waited. finally, 45 minutes and lots of origami birds later, i called my best friend, who practically lives at her boyfriends house which is right by my guys house. so she comes to my rescue, and finally my guy shows up, telling me he fell asleep. i really shouldnt have done what i did next. i mean, i know he doesnt get much sleep and that it was mostly his sister-in-laws fault for telling me he left already and not saying he fell asleep and to reschedule. but i was incredibly freaked because i had waited in a bad neighborhood for 45 minutes to break up with him even though i really didnt want to. so i just snapped. i freaked out and totally guilt tripped him for faling asleep and told him i didnt think we should go out anymore if he was gonna be like that. and my friend said he should go home. one look at his face and i knew that there was some sort of mistake with my friend and him. whatever he said she misheard or he didnt mean or… something. but i could just tell from the look in his eyes that he didnt think i was boring or annoying or any of the things she said. and i also knew that i had majorly screwed up. but beforee i could say anything, he turned and shuffled away looking like he was about to cry. i knew he never cried. so i turned to my friend and said “he looked so sad” and she responded with “oh, hes just trying to guilt trip you.” i wasnt even surprised. i knew she wouldnt understand and that if i went after him shed never talk to me again. and she really is a good friend in all cases non-boy-related. so i just watched him walk away. and i just talked to him via text message, and im pretty sure he wouldnt take me back if i asked him to. he sounded too sad.
so that brings m,e to now. no one ive talked to is helpful. my best friend tells me to just get over it, my grandma doesnt quite get why im sad, nd my little sister…well, is ten and has never gone out with anyone. my mom gets that im sad but doesnt quite get how sad cuz she doesnt know the entire story. she loves my ex and doesnt really like my friend so i know shed say to dump her for him which i cant do. so im hoping one of my fellow sanrio-ites will have something helpful to say.
so, sanrio-ites…HELP! (please)