I guess I should start by explaining what the trauma is…..right? Okay, I thought I liked this kid Tyler(I have since 6th grade)but now that I think about it, he might not really be what I want, which is saying something considering that I talk about him all the time(non-stalker-ish).My bestest friend in the whole world, Chloe’, has been trying to get this through my head, but I never really had time to think about it until now.Thanks Chloe’…I love you!!

Alright…moving on. Alex is also in this. Chloe’ says that she approves of me dating him(I highly value my best friend’s opinion), but honestly, I like being close friends with him. He makes me feel like there is always someone there if I need anyone.So I don’t think I want to date him either….

Now Justin is gorgeous. He’s got lovely hair, sexy body, and he is just and all around nice guy. I love him like a brother…which is why I don’t want to date him…..we’re too close…..

Okay, for the past few months, I can’t seem to get this person out of my head. Is he stuck there for a reason?I haven’t told anybody about him. And the mystery man is….my ex-boyfriend Joren. The one that I completely adored and loved. I know what you’re thinking….why him….why now? I don’t know. All I know is that I miss him, and he is what I want. it’s kind of difficult though. See, since we broke up, we haven’t really talked much.To be honest, I regret breaking up with him…and I can’t remember why I did it. I think it was because I didn’t think that he really loved me, just you know…fed me lines, but I could have been wrong. I could have talked to him about it. But nooo…retard. Ugh.

Not many people understand him or understand why I would want to date him, or why I even like him, but they don’t see what I see in him. when I look at him, I see someone with a tough past and present, who needs someone to be there for him and love him. I want to be that someone….

Tell me what you think….be kind.

Chloe’ and I(correct grammar)(me BFFL )have been getting pretty close again. She’s amazing and i love her…so much…wouldn’t be anywhere without you Chloe’!!!!

I don’t really know what’s going on with Tyler…so we’ll skip that…

Danny and Kaitlyn are going out…unfortunately(i know that’s mean to say..but it’s true)To be completely honest, they are the worst couple at are school…Danny is like my son in a way…i feel so protective of him and Kaitlyn is soooo not what he needs. She basically abuses him(physically..no not what you think)They’ve been going out for about 2 months..i think and im still waiting for danny to get tired of her and they break up…and i am NOT being harsh…trust me..if you saw them you would know.

Now Deven and me are friends still and she is dating Cody(pretty cute)and they too are also a bad couple…Just something about them being together bothers me…idk what it is but i shall find out…xD

Alex is in Colorado? right now and he’s in a blizzard…sucks for him. were still good friends…he wants to be more but idk…..yeah

Me on the other hand…I’m not dating anyone nor am I stuck in a blizzard…I’m getting ready to go to the beach with Casey and scout for beach boys(haha)..Ill let you know how that goes.dum..dum…dum….

please comment….let me know how wonderful or dreadful I am….how I can make this better…yeah

peace out….

School’s starting up again. I’m so ready to go back and see all my friends. i don’t mind the work, since I’m pretty good at it.My fav subject is history. I love to learn about the world before we arrived on it.Everything was so…wicked. It’s doesn’t help that my teacher(Coach Starr) is like the most insane teacher I’ve ever had. He makes everything so interesting. Blah, enough about learning. I’m kind of nervous to go back though. I don’t really know why, but I am.

Well, since I don’t have anything else exciting to tell you, I think I’ll be on my way.  Auf Wiedersehen!*

*:that’s good-bye in German in case you didn’t know <3

Chloe’: I have no idea where to begin. You’ve been there for me since we wore diapers and you still are there for me. I love how you can always cheer me up after anything. Even when I have boy trouble. : )  You are the most amazing person I know. You’re my long lost sister that I’ve always wanted. I know sometimes I may see a little out of it, like Im not paying attention to you, but that’s just because I’m thinking about how wonderful a person you are. I’ll always be there for you now matter what. I love you.

Justin: My secret lover. Supposedly we’ll get married one day. But I love you anyway. You are such a good listener. Kind of funny too. I love how you always give me the best hugs. so sweet.

Deven: I know we’ve had our differences, but i have a good feeling about this year. I love how you pop up in every conversation and how you’re so random and you can make me laugh anytime. You’re so pretty.

Tyler: What can I say about you. You’re the icing on my cake.(corny!) I don’t know what I would do without you. Probably curl up under a rock. I love you so much. I feel like I can tell you anything and you may not listen but when you do you have the most sincerity. Ever since 6th grade I feel like if I ever lost you, I…….I can’t even think about that. Please, for my sake, don’t ever change.

Danny: You are so funny. You have the ability to cheer anyone up no matter what the circumstances are. I love how you’re a little bit concieted and how all the girls drool over you. HaHa.

Alex: you’ve been there for me since 6th grade and everytime I had a problem, you would be there to listen Thank you so much, for putting up with me. : )

Cristina: We were best friends in 7th grade and then we split a little, but I’n so thankful to have you back in my life. You were there for me when I was having problems with Tyler and Justin and my family. Your are such a great listener and you have the best advice. 

Happy Holidays everyone.

BTW: i’m getting a haircut today so I’ll post a picture of it when I get a chance.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

 —————————————————————————–

                                                  Daddy’s ”babygirl”

This a poem about my babygirl

Everytime i see her, she makes my heart whirl

She is so very smart and talented too

My beautiful Lauren, Daddy’s “boogaloo”

She plays guitar and keyboard so good

And gets A’s in school, just like she should

She looks out for her brother, mom ,and such

I miss her all the time and love her so much

She’s growing up so fast, this beautiful flower

But my Lauren Ashley is all about “girl power”

She dresses real cute and likes bangely things

 Just like her daddy, likes jewelry and rings

When it comes to boys, she sure has found them

If they don’t treat her right, Daddy will pound them

She is so very special, this daughter of mine

I love her and miss her all of the time

She makes Daddy proud each and every day

And because of that, I can always say

NO ONE loves you more than Daddy

Always and forever, more and more each day

       Happy Birthday Princess!

              Love;

                   Daddy

        xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

        xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

——————————————————————————

I miss him so much. I love you Daddy!

So yeah. I’m fourteen, one step closer to being able to drive.

Oh and today I’m going to the mall with my friend Chloe’ to get my promise ring (a ring you wear when you promise to yourself and to God that you’ll stay pure until marriage), also known as a purity ring or chasity ring. I’m soo excited!!! Well, got to go get ready.

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!!!!!!

 BOO!

 I haven’t really talked to Joren in a while. It kind of sucks because we don’t talk as much as we used to. I miss that. Anyway, I wasn’t really into anyone in the begining of the year, but i met this guy named Riley, and I might(just a little bit) have a crush on him. But he’s going out with my friend Alex. So yeah.

 Yesterday, I was walking with Tyler to Mr. Sparks class in the morning, and we were just talking. And then he says “Lauren, can I ask you a question?” “Sure” i said.  Then he asks me if I like him, and i told him as a friend. And he got sad, which obviously told me that he liked me. I felt bad but We have gone out like 5 times before and it hasn’t worked, so what would make this time any different.

Also, just to clear things up, me and Deven are friends again. Same with Brooke. and Bubbles(new girl at school).

but yeah that’s about it for now. I let you know how it goes with Tyler and Riley.

    Peace, Love, and Happiness    : )

 The dock is simply a place where you can jump off a 15 ft high dock into the water. We stayed there for about an hour and then Derek came over to hang out. We sat around and watched “Hot Rod”. That’s when Jennifer(Derek’s sister) came over. She was kind of all over me and my cousin. I didn’t really know why, until Derek told me she was bisexual. That explained alot. Anyway, during the movie, I was sitting on the couch next to Jennifer, and then she got up and moved to the other couch.

That’s when Derek got up and moved over to the couch I was sitting on. There went the butterflies.(corny much?) Anyway, the next day, he came over and we all played Guitar Hero III. Needless to say I beat him. lol.

I can’t place what it was about him, but he seemed so different from other guys. He didn’t care what other people thought about him. He just acted like himself. Unlike most guys who put on a show just to try and act cool.

And the most exciting thing just happened like 5 minutes ago. When I was at Taylor’s house, Derek asked Taylor for my number. Of course she didn’t have it. So I asked her to get his for me. She never got it. But on saturday, they all went camping together.(i was at my dad’s house) And I guess Taylor gave him my number because he just called.

The bad news is my phone was off and he left a voicemail. Why did my phone have to be off? U-G-H!!!

Anyway, I need some advice. Should I call him back or wait until he calls me again? But what if he doesn’t call me again? What do I do? HELP.

On July 3rd, I went to visit my Dad. It was kind of boring, but in a way I guess I had fun. I got to hang out with my stepbrothers, Robby and Dillon. Pretty cool.

I haven’t talked to my friends in a while. I feel like they’ve all jumped of the side of the planet. I found out that my best friend’s “special someone” likes another girl. Which sucks because I know that they’re like a match made in heaven.(corny xD) But that’s his loss

world peace!

Here are the lyrics:

I’m starring at a broken door there’s nothin left here
anymore my room is cold
it’s makin me insane
i’ve been waitin here so long
but now the moment seems to’ve come
i see the dark clouds coming up again

running through the monsoon
beyond the world to the end of time
where the rain won’t hurt fighting the storm
into the blue and when i lose myself
i’ll think of you
together we’ll be running somewhere new
through the monsoon just me and you

a half moon’s fading from my sight
i see your vision in it’s light
but now it’s gone and left me so alone
i know i have to find you now
can hear your name
i don’t know how
why can’t we make this darkness feel like home

running through the monsoon
beyond the world to the end of time
where the rain won’t hurt fighting the storm
into the blue and when i lose myself
i’ll think of you
together we’ll be running somewhere new
and nothing can hold me back from you
through the monsoon

hey! - hey!
i’m fightin all it’s power
comin’ in my way
let it take me straight to you
i’ll be running night and day
i’ll be with you soon, just me and you,
we’ll be there soon, so soon…

running through the monsoon
beyond the world to the end of time
where the rain won’t hurt fighting the storm
into the blue and when i lose myself
i’ll think of you
together we’ll be running somewhere new
and nothing can hold me back from you
through the monsoon
through the monsoon
just me and you
through the monsoon
just me and you

  On Sunday, June 8th, I went to the Riverside Cemetary with my Dad and my brother. We went to see my grandpa and grandma(on my dad’s side) and My dad’s little sister, Terri.  Anyway, so I just sat down and started talking to Bigpa(that’s what we called him). And telling him how much I miss him and that I know we didn’t get to spend that much time together, but the time that we did spend together…those moments were priceless. And of course, I started crying. So did my dad.

 But after our “Lifetime” moment, we started To walk around and just look at all of the other graves. And Some of the graves that I saw, just made me stop and think….why? Why our some people’s lives so short. For example:

  There was this one grave of a little girl, and she didn’t even live long enough for her parents to give her a name. All I could do was just stop and stare. And just looking at that, it kind of scared me. Like why would someone take a little girl. I mean she didn’t even have a name.

And I saw another grave that was for a brother and sister who looked about the age of 5-ish.(there was a pic on the stone) And the writing engraved on the stone said:

 ”Our parents loved us dearly. But God loved us more. So He sent down angels to take us to Heaven.”

I mean, why would God take two little children like that. They didn’t even get a chance to live their lives. What did they do to deserve that?

And then I also got to thinking about our enironment. How people know that they’re ruining the world, but yet they still throw trash on the ground. Do they realize that they are the cause of global warming?

What really got to me though, is when I started thinking abot how everything in life, I take it for granted. I mean, some people/kids never get to experience any of the things I have done throughout my life. And I realize that everytime someone gets something, they always, always want more. Why can’t you just be happy with what you’ve got. Just be satisfied with what’s been given to you.

So as you can see, my night was kind of abnormal. But on Sunday, I also had my dance recital. I practiced all year for that, and everybody says I did great. I think I did flippin awesome. I don’t know.

Oh, and by the way, while I’m at it, I’m gonna give a shout out to all the fathers out there. Happy Father’s Day!

World Peace.