Okay, over this spring break week, I got to thinking about all the boy trauma going on in my life. And I think I finally figured out what it is I’m looking for, or who I’m looking for.

I guess I should start by explaining what the trauma is…..right? Okay, I thought I liked this kid Tyler(I have since 6th grade)but now that I think about it, he might not really be what I want, which is saying something considering that I talk about him all the time(non-stalker-ish).My bestest friend in the whole world, Chloe’, has been trying to get this through my head, but I never really had time to think about it until now.Thanks Chloe’…I love you!!

Alright…moving on. Alex is also in this. Chloe’ says that she approves of me dating him(I highly value my best friend’s opinion), but honestly, I like being close friends with him. He makes me feel like there is always someone there if I need anyone.So I don’t think I want to date him either….

Now Justin is gorgeous. He’s got lovely hair, sexy body, and he is just and all around nice guy. I love him like a brother…which is why I don’t want to date him…..we’re too close…..

Okay, for the past few months, I can’t seem to get this person out of my head. Is he stuck there for a reason?I haven’t told anybody about him. And the mystery man is….my ex-boyfriend Joren. The one that I completely adored and loved. I know what you’re thinking….why him….why now? I don’t know. All I know is that I miss him, and he is what I want. it’s kind of difficult though. See, since we broke up, we haven’t really talked much.To be honest, I regret breaking up with him…and I can’t remember why I did it. I think it was because I didn’t think that he really loved me, just you know…fed me lines, but I could have been wrong. I could have talked to him about it. But nooo…retard. Ugh.

Not many people understand him or understand why I would want to date him, or why I even like him, but they don’t see what I see in him. when I look at him, I see someone with a tough past and present, who needs someone to be there for him and love him. I want to be that someone….

Tell me what you think….be kind.

Well, yesterday was my birthday. 14 years young. 14 years of watching the world change(in a bad way i might add).  So my dad sent me the usual birthday card in the mail, because we never see him on our birthdays. But this year something was different. A poem. For me. This is what it said:

 —————————————————————————–

                                                  Daddy’s ”babygirl”

This a poem about my babygirl

Everytime i see her, she makes my heart whirl

She is so very smart and talented too

My beautiful Lauren, Daddy’s “boogaloo”

She plays guitar and keyboard so good

And gets A’s in school, just like she should

She looks out for her brother, mom ,and such

I miss her all the time and love her so much

She’s growing up so fast, this beautiful flower

But my Lauren Ashley is all about “girl power”

She dresses real cute and likes bangely things

 Just like her daddy, likes jewelry and rings

When it comes to boys, she sure has found them

If they don’t treat her right, Daddy will pound them

She is so very special, this daughter of mine

I love her and miss her all of the time

She makes Daddy proud each and every day

And because of that, I can always say

NO ONE loves you more than Daddy

Always and forever, more and more each day

       Happy Birthday Princess!

              Love;

                   Daddy

        xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

        xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

——————————————————————————

I miss him so much. I love you Daddy!

So yeah. I’m fourteen, one step closer to being able to drive.

Oh and today I’m going to the mall with my friend Chloe’ to get my promise ring (a ring you wear when you promise to yourself and to God that you’ll stay pure until marriage), also known as a purity ring or chasity ring. I’m soo excited!!! Well, got to go get ready.

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!!!!!!

 BOO!

Well, I just got back from my cousin’s house yesterday, and I met this awesome guy. His name is Derek. He is the most down-to-earth guy I’ve ever met. He’s so sweet and he’s quite funny. He was visiting his friend Dylan, which happens to be my cousin Taylor’s next door neighbor. My aunt took me,my brother, Derek, Taylor, and Hunter to the dock.

 The dock is simply a place where you can jump off a 15 ft high dock into the water. We stayed there for about an hour and then Derek came over to hang out. We sat around and watched “Hot Rod”. That’s when Jennifer(Derek’s sister) came over. She was kind of all over me and my cousin. I didn’t really know why, until Derek told me she was bisexual. That explained alot. Anyway, during the movie, I was sitting on the couch next to Jennifer, and then she got up and moved to the other couch.

That’s when Derek got up and moved over to the couch I was sitting on. There went the butterflies.(corny much?) Anyway, the next day, he came over and we all played Guitar Hero III. Needless to say I beat him. lol.

I can’t place what it was about him, but he seemed so different from other guys. He didn’t care what other people thought about him. He just acted like himself. Unlike most guys who put on a show just to try and act cool.

And the most exciting thing just happened like 5 minutes ago. When I was at Taylor’s house, Derek asked Taylor for my number. Of course she didn’t have it. So I asked her to get his for me. She never got it. But on saturday, they all went camping together.(i was at my dad’s house) And I guess Taylor gave him my number because he just called.

The bad news is my phone was off and he left a voicemail. Why did my phone have to be off? U-G-H!!!

Anyway, I need some advice. Should I call him back or wait until he calls me again? But what if he doesn’t call me again? What do I do? HELP.

well, I just ended things with Joren. I know that it was the right thing to do. I mean, I didn’t feel anything anymore, well at least nothing special. I know I hurt him, and I am sorry, but I know it was the right thing to do.

On July 3rd, I went to visit my Dad. It was kind of boring, but in a way I guess I had fun. I got to hang out with my stepbrothers, Robby and Dillon. Pretty cool.

I haven’t talked to my friends in a while. I feel like they’ve all jumped of the side of the planet. I found out that my best friend’s “special someone” likes another girl. Which sucks because I know that they’re like a match made in heaven.(corny xD) But that’s his loss

world peace!

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Here are the lyrics:

I’m starring at a broken door there’s nothin left here
anymore my room is cold
it’s makin me insane
i’ve been waitin here so long
but now the moment seems to’ve come
i see the dark clouds coming up again

running through the monsoon
beyond the world to the end of time
where the rain won’t hurt fighting the storm
into the blue and when i lose myself
i’ll think of you
together we’ll be running somewhere new
through the monsoon just me and you

a half moon’s fading from my sight
i see your vision in it’s light
but now it’s gone and left me so alone
i know i have to find you now
can hear your name
i don’t know how
why can’t we make this darkness feel like home

running through the monsoon
beyond the world to the end of time
where the rain won’t hurt fighting the storm
into the blue and when i lose myself
i’ll think of you
together we’ll be running somewhere new
and nothing can hold me back from you
through the monsoon

hey! - hey!
i’m fightin all it’s power
comin’ in my way
let it take me straight to you
i’ll be running night and day
i’ll be with you soon, just me and you,
we’ll be there soon, so soon…

running through the monsoon
beyond the world to the end of time
where the rain won’t hurt fighting the storm
into the blue and when i lose myself
i’ll think of you
together we’ll be running somewhere new
and nothing can hold me back from you
through the monsoon
through the monsoon
just me and you
through the monsoon
just me and you

Joren burned a cd for me and he said this song reminded him of me. I flippin love this song. Isn’t he the sweetest. I LOVE HIM!!!

hey, my brother is playing Guitar Hero and he’s not very good. but he’s playing smoke on the water, which is a pretty easy song. one of those little sayings just said that you should always keep an empty bottle in the van. You’ll see why. i thought that was kind of gross, but whatever. anyway, he’s doing the tutorials right now. maybe it will help him. who kows?

it’s kind of funny, cuz he broke his foot, and he’s been rolling around on this rolley chair. he has crutches, but he says that his foot starts hurting, cuz he srcunches up his toes when he walks. weird, i know. anyway, i gotta go help him, so i’ll be back in 30 minutes.

Well, last night was so not fun for me, or my mom,or my brother. Last night, he went to the Abacoa Skatepark.It was about 5:45 when he called my mom. he was crying so we knew something was wrong. He said he hurt hisself so his friend’s mom took him to the Jupiter Urgent Care. They took some x-rays and right when me and my mom got there, he was still getting his x-rays taken.He came in the room in a wheel-chair. We went to go see the Doc and he said that Jesse broke the top of his foot. Right then, in my head, I was thinking,”This BLOWS!” The correct term for what happened to Jesse’s foot would be that he cracked it. So the Doctor wrapped him up in a splint. He told us that Jesse would have too get a cast in the nnext 5-7 days.

I asked Jesse what he did at the skatepark. He said that he dropped in the 9ft ramp, then went over the “nipple”(that’s supposedly what they call the thing that sticks out of the ground, and is rond at the top.) He said hat he landed it the first time, and when he went to go do it again, he went much faster than he should have. He caught like 7ft of air, and his skateboard flew out from underneath him. So he tried to land on both of his feet, but he ended up landing on one after another, and then fell over and started crying and screaming. And thats what happened.

My Mom thought it was a freak accident. Jesse said that an hour before he broke his foot, there was another kid who broke his arm and went to the hospital. Jesse said that he told his friends that he had never broken anything in his life. then he ended up breaking his foot. It wasn’t a freak accident. He cursed hisself which you should never do.  He should no better thaan that. Anyway so i started telling him everything that you go through when you have a cast. cuz i broke my arm in 3rd grade, and sprained my ankle really bad in 2nd grade.

Most of you may already know, but i broke my arm playing basketball. My friend Lauren Frye was guarding me cuz i had the ball. then she pushed me out of bounds and you could see my bone and all that good stuff. It hurt like hell, but my mom drove me and Lauren Frye to the ER, and I had to wait 3 hours before i could even see the doctor. so as you could tell, i was in some serious pain. when i finally got to see the doctor, they took x-rays and and put a splint on me. Lauren slept over that night. All i can say was that it was kind of fun having a broken arm. but don’t and break your arm just because i said it was fun.

Has for me spraining my ankle. well that happened when iwas outside playing, and my puppy Buddy was running right in front of me. so needless to say, i tripped over him and down i went. i had to have cruches(i don’t know if i spelled it right) for about a month. and that was so annoying. everyone wanted to play with them or try them out. So i was about has helpless as a headless chicken. Well, im out, so i’ll talk to you guys l8er.

                              Doom Cookie out!

P.S.- Doom Cookie is my new nickname. So refer to me as Doom Cookie.

this is my 2 week old puppy. i got her for christmas. she ran away right before her birthday. she got out of our fence and followed me to my bus stop. then this lady saw her when she didn’t go home, and the lady took her to the vet, and they put her up for adoption. then someone adopted her. it freakin sucks, cuz she was so sweet and lovable. Anywy, thoght you would like to see her. isn’t she adorable.

peace.

this song is one of my favorite by the jonas brothers. i love the way their vocies sound in this song, and the lyrics are sick!!!! the video is kind of weird, because i don’t think that it has anything to do with the song. lemme know what you think.

peace.