Okay, over this spring break week, I got to thinking about all the boy trauma going on in my life. And I think I finally figured out what it is I’m looking for, or who I’m looking for.

I guess I should start by explaining what the trauma is…..right? Okay, I thought I liked this kid Tyler(I have since 6th grade)but now that I think about it, he might not really be what I want, which is saying something considering that I talk about him all the time(non-stalker-ish).My bestest friend in the whole world, Chloe’, has been trying to get this through my head, but I never really had time to think about it until now.Thanks Chloe’…I love you!!

Alright…moving on. Alex is also in this. Chloe’ says that she approves of me dating him(I highly value my best friend’s opinion), but honestly, I like being close friends with him. He makes me feel like there is always someone there if I need anyone.So I don’t think I want to date him either….

Now Justin is gorgeous. He’s got lovely hair, sexy body, and he is just and all around nice guy. I love him like a brother…which is why I don’t want to date him…..we’re too close…..

Okay, for the past few months, I can’t seem to get this person out of my head. Is he stuck there for a reason?I haven’t told anybody about him. And the mystery man is….my ex-boyfriend Joren. The one that I completely adored and loved. I know what you’re thinking….why him….why now? I don’t know. All I know is that I miss him, and he is what I want. it’s kind of difficult though. See, since we broke up, we haven’t really talked much.To be honest, I regret breaking up with him…and I can’t remember why I did it. I think it was because I didn’t think that he really loved me, just you know…fed me lines, but I could have been wrong. I could have talked to him about it. But nooo…retard. Ugh.

Not many people understand him or understand why I would want to date him, or why I even like him, but they don’t see what I see in him. when I look at him, I see someone with a tough past and present, who needs someone to be there for him and love him. I want to be that someone….

Tell me what you think….be kind.