umm sooooo…friday joe and i went out to eat at boulder creek with his parents. fun fun (-.-), eh…the meat was good…*giggles*. annnnnnd i got a letter in from FIT about my portfolio review and home test. i have to draw a fashion design inspired by some sort of object and i have to make a series of sketches of four different outfits from 1 jacket, 2 tops and 2 bottoms. weeee….not that hard really…but they want fabric swatches which kinda sucks…cause that means i have to get my ass into the city…urgh…and i have no money…damn them all. sooo yesterday i just worked on drawing crap. i’m ruling when it comes to inking things all of a sudden. i got these really nice pens (sakura brand…muahahahahaha) and they make me not suck somehow. eh whatever works. and then i stayed up all night last night and finished off radiata stories cause i’m a loser and all…and now i feel so empty and incomplete without a game to be obsessed over…crap..

urgh….my head…is in so much pain right now…just got home from the D’espairsRay concert…it was awesome….but my head is going to explode XD. as usual, things didn’t go quite as planned. my recent gaming obsession caused me to say up way too late…so then i slept till like 12:30 instead of the 10:30-11 i originally planned on…joe woke me up by showing up at my door with food…ha..convinced me to get my ass out of bed. but then i ate too fast and felt sick (URGH!) so i went to my room to lay down and try to feel better….and we both passed out till like 4…ha…so then i had to get ready really quickly and we ended up leaving at about a quarter after 5 instead of the 3 we intended ;-;…the drive was quick though…but we couldn’t find parking…then we lucked out and found a spot that seemed a little too good to be true. soooo we went to avalon…and began looking for andrew who was suppose to be there since like 3…and we couldn’t find his fan-head anywhere. so we just went to the back of the line (which wasn’t that long really) and not 5 minutes later he showed up. turns out he left late as well. we froze our asses off for a good half an hour and then went in and found a nice spot along the railing on the second floor above the stage…i was too tired to be squished in the pit….urgh…there were two opening bands. the first was suicide city, they were awesome. quote of the night from them “who wants to touch my crotchal region?”..wtf…the second band was trash light something…i don’t really remember…i thought they sucked. they were a poor follow up from suicide city. then finally desray came out…and thats when my ear drums exploded from much fangirl screaming XD. the performance was awesome though. everyone was going after hizumi’s crotch o_o’…poor hizumi…they were all fat and unattractive. and then for the encoure, he triped and fell into the crowd then tried to make it look like he did it on purpose XD….and karyu and zero accidentally ran into eachother…crack heads…still and awesome show though. joe and i were like the only people watching from the second floor that were actually like, moving and looking like we were having fun and screaming so hizumi kept looking at us like we were insane or something. and i tried to scream out karyu’s name when they were between songs and he looked at me and nodded~<3 it was cute. eh, so the night went well, and i got a zero pick so i’m happy ^^…so then…we got out at 11:13…then got to the car…and joe had a ticket…because the spot we were parked in was only good till 11…and it was written at 11:04…joe was pissed he missed it by 9 minutes and blames it on the encore XD.
ah…so now i’m home…and my head still hurts…and i still can’t hear anything…but it was well worth it i think. and now i can’t wait till the diru concert *sob* i’ll fight my way to the front for that, no matter how painful. *sigh* soooo…imma go pass out now…

hummm…soooo yesterday joe and i went out to eat at the rainforest cafe XD. hes never been there before so it was worth a try, and was kind of a nice change from the usual crap around here…yeah we needed a change….and i wanted coconut chicken with coconut and curry sauce…*drools* it was my first real meal since being sick…wonderful…after dinner we travled the mall, going into random stores. i ended up getting a few new lip rings, and i bought a game (radiata stories) which i’ve been playing non-stop. and joe bought a new hoodie (weeeeeeee). then we snuck back into my house, hopeing not to disturbe my intoxicated mother, with much success.
thennnn today i did a ton of cleaning….and my room is sexified now. and i decided to check the scale today and i’ve lost a total of 9 lbs since starting my diet a month ago XD. its slow progress perhaps…but still progress…and now i’m getting into doing the whole exersize thing…which isn’t very much fun….but works. and if it works i guess i can’t complain :P…i certainly can’t go on feeling like a fat ass….13 more lbs to go and i’m back at normal weight (hooray). i’ve stuck myself with having a bunch of light snacks all day and one main meal (dinner) of whatever the hell i want, plus some sort of effective physical activity for like and hour or 2 three times a week…and i cut all the sugar out of my tea…cause im drinking like crazy…and sugar es bad. and i think i found myself a nice combination that works. i guess we’ll see in a few months if i’m posing in my underwear yet or not XD.
and tomorrow is the D’espairsRay concert ^^. weeeeeeee…finally i’m getting out and doing something like a normal human being. i’m hoping it’ll make me feel better…just to get out…and stop thinking about other things =.= i will probably return home in pieces and bleeding everywhere..but thats fine…just as long as i don’t get aids…and hey, maybe i’ll get to touch hizumi’s ass XD. that would be interesting…
eh, so over all i’m kinda feeling a lot better. like i’m becoming myself again or something. i use to like who i was…even though i was quite alone…i still felt good. so i guess i’m trying to get that back, and i shouldn’t really care so much about other people as i should myself at the moment. ha, i know i’m awesome…i shouldn’t need anyone else to feel it.

ha…yeah its been a while. guess i haven’t had much to write about till now.

urm…yeah work sucks. i’m gonna try and get a job at a bank, starts at eleven an hour and i get 2 weeks paid vacation in the first 6 months, and then i’ll get a raise after that AND they don’t care if my hair is purple! score! so yeah, wish me luck on that i suppose. with money like that i’d definitly be taking that 2 weeks vacation somewhere like….japan maybe! muahahahahahhaha!

i’ve been sewing lots, getting my fashion portfolio ready for FIT…yay XP. i’m making an awesome shirt and a skirt made out of fabric that i paid $20 a yard for…yes i’m insane…but the fabric was very pretty. i’ll take pictures when all is done.

urm yeah lots of bad stuff happened…but i’m actually trying not to let it bother me. seriously…i’m really trying. i’m trying to just make myself into a better person to counter act all the bad stuff…i dunno if it makes any sense…but finally some of the bad things are modivating me. hooray.

and i do have sort of good news. i got an amazing offer ^^. my friend vember has published his first illustrated novel, “alice ever falling”. its really amazing (check out his website for all his latest projects *promotion!!* http://www.vemberjudgement.com/ and http://novemberwolf.deviantart.com ). and now hes working on the second installment of alice ever falling. with this hes also planing something out with the clothing company heavyred.com to make clothing inspired by the novel…and i’ve been asked to model it if the deal goes through ^^! hehe…it just makes me happy. and i’ll also be doing 2 commissions for him soon…finally…its been a long time T-T. hehehehehe i’m just really happy and optimistic about it. even if it doesn’t go through just the offer is enough lol.

eh today sucked again. i had to go to the dentist before work..had to get a filling redone. and then i went to work all numbed up..and i couldn’t talk and everyone was making fun of me .
lol i guess it could have been worse. just made the day feel very very long.

yeah…so the holidays are almost here….and i have a ton of shopping to get done. got a few things for joe, and something for liz….and then i just have to take care of jess, andrew, my mother, and a few other odds and ends. ha, and i don’t know what to get anyone …..and my credit card bill is only getting larger lol.

i really can’t wait till christmas though. joe and i are going to his aunts house upstate…i see it as a type of vacation….and any time away from my mother is like a vacation….gives me time to relax and not have anything to worry about, so i’m glad i’ll get to enjoy the holidays this year and we might get to stay over with jess on the 23rd which would be nice so we can see her and andrew and exchange gifts and stuff. i hope so bad this year will go well…i could use it lol.

yeah so i’m really tired now…and bord…so ima go lay down now and try to relax.

blessed be.