Well, I will be starting the magical grade 8 on August 22nd. I’m not too worried. I’ve got some pretty close friends, and I don’t doubt I’ll get at least one class with all of them (Geometry Honors probably). Besides, I miss my buds, a lot. The only one I’ve been consistantly hanging out with is Courtney. Summer’s usually a lot of fun, but this one kind of sucked. On October 29th of last year I wrote in my diary (and I quote): “You know what? This summer’s really going to rock! I’m going to be a Jr. Counselor at CPP [a summer camp by my house] , go to Surf Camp and Turtle Camp, and possibly start on some of these unlisted privledges…” Unfortuantely none of this ever happened. CPP said I could volunteer next year (they figured I was too young), my parents ran low on money and decided to keep me home all summer, and the only “unlisted privledges” I’ve acheived is telling white lies to the rents so I could go to the mall with courtney. overall, this summer has been a huge disapointment. The only brightside is that I’ve gotten a lot of writing done. My hope is to finish my favorite story I’m writing “The Boy Who Never Smiles” by the end of the summer and then send it to get published while I get back to school (I won’t have a lot of time to work on my writing August/September). I don’t really have a good system for writing. I can’t stand to write events in order. I have about 10 different excerpts, and in the end I’m going to have to find a way to weave them all together. :p It’ll be worth it though. This is my favorite book I’ve ever written.

 In the story, the two main characters are Nick and Skye. Nick’s the most popular, richest, best-looking, smartest, funniest guy in school, but he had a horrible childhood. The only problem with him, is that he’s kind of an egotistical jerk. He does whatever he feels like he’s supposed to do. He tries so hard to keep his reputation and do exactly what everyone expects him to do. But then, he falls in love with Skye. Skye, a nothing special sort of girl, who’s life pretty much sucks.

Well, it actually doesn’t read very good. But the plot is really deep and it took ages to plan out and write. What a like best about it, is that, it has an unexpected, sort of sad, makes-you-cry ending. (And no, neither one of them dies). There’s also a sequel I want to start working on right away called “The Girl Who Never Laughs” and it’s almost like an epilogue. But I don’t want to say so much, because the plot is still a work in progress in my head. :] Besides, when and if it gets published, I’m going to force every one of you to go out, buy it, and read it.

 man, how did I get started talking about my writing? But anyways, I’ve also been doing a lot of drawing (which is gradually getting better XD) and I’ve been working like mad on my dance and piano, :] it’s been an articulet kind of month. I’m also reading Hamlet. (unexpected much?) And a book called A Seperate Piece. I haven’t written in my diary in FOREVER (I can write either in my blog or my diary, I can nver really handle both. :])

Enough about my dreary, deathly uneventful summer. If there’s any one out there, tell me about your summe. List an adventure or two! :]

wow. today was CRAZY. Me and my mom were at Home Depot,  and then this huge lightning bolt struck and this car alarm went off. I started screaming “OHMIGOD! IT HIT A CAR!” and then my mom started yelling: “HOLY CRAP! THAT’S MY CAR!” And I was just like /whoooooaaaaa/ because earlier, I had been wishing I would get struck by lightning. Who knew that was so close to being reality? If me and my mom had decided to run out in the rain, I could be dead right now. I guess you know what they say, be careful what you wish for. This all sounds very much like Alice Hoffman’s “Ice Queen” but anyways, this whole incident kind of reminded me of something I’d otherwise forgotten. And now that I recall it, I’d have to say it was one of the scariest moments of my life. I was about 5ish? and it was raining very hard, just like today and i was with my dad in the garden department of Home Depot. And there was a suspicious person loose in the building. My dad went to go get the car and i waited by the gate. This was right before they started locking all the doors. So I got locked in, and my dad was out there. And I started crying… They let me out when my dad came up, but it was still pretty scary without him there…

 Well, I’ve got to jet. :\ My dad’s moving the TV/PS2 here into the den with the remodeling and such.

Summer’s been pretty eventful so far. :] Yesterday Di and Jesse came to visit. I helped Di with some math and then the three of us+dad went for a walk. We had a really good lunch and 3 good things came out of it. 1) Di says she wants to come up for a weekend to visit real soon. :] 2) Jesse’s thinking of buying a house down here. 3) Jesse’s giving me her old skateboard! My only complaint about the day was that Michael kept calling and yelling at Jesse telling her she better get home and all this shit then she made up some lie how she had to get home and let him into the apartment.

Jesse: head-strong, stubborn, close-minded, smart, creative. Jesse is hard to put down in a little sanriotown description. She’s pretty cool once you get to know her, but she can’t stand it unless she’s in the center stage. She thinks everything’s a conspiracy, and she overanalyzes everything.

Diana: sweet, quiet, funny, impatient. Di is nearly the opposite of Jesse. She can be quiet unless in the right circumstances, otherwise, she’s super funny and spontaneous. She loves animals, and she’d do anything to make people happy. She always puts other’s needs before her own. She always reminded me of Snow White. :] 

Today me and my mom went to the beach. I read a few pages in my book: “Learned Optomism” and I’m regaining my “summer tan” haha. Heck Yes! We were going to bring Cristina, but she baield last minute. Too bad, she missed out. I also went to Publix today and got new headphones (my kitty chewed through my other ones)

On Thursday, I’m going to Kevin’s baseball game with Courtney. We’re going to drink slurpies, rate guys’ butts, and be craft-pimps.

On Friday, Crystal’s coming over to hang out. We’ll probably play ITG and Guitar Hero no doubt. Afterwords, her mom is probably going to take us to Cobb, where I will hopefully meet up with Deven, Alyssa, and Courtney (Butter if I’m lucky <3)

I’m really excited, I have a feeling this summer is going to be amazing!

It’ll be even better when my best friend Alex gets back from China (school trip) and we can parole the neighborhood and cause mayhem. ;D

So me and Cookie broke it off. We agreed that since he was graduating it would be better if we cooled it off. We never really talked anyways, I felt like I was with a stranger when I was with. He’s the absolute opposite of what I’m looking for in a guy. I can’t say I’m geuinlly depressed, because I’m not, sure I’ll kind of miss the ncie things he said about me, but when i think about Courtney said, I think she was right, it felt like he was just feeding me lines. Summer’s a time to relax and enjoy life, and I plan to do just that.

Me and Butter have been texting back and forth all day. On the last day of school (yesterday) he left 5 minutes after he got to school, and I didn’t get a chance to say good-by. After he left, my phone started vibrating, but I figured it was Cookie texting me, so I didn’t pick up, it was actually Butter calling to say good-by! I called him back, and we talked for a few minutes before the first bell rang. Here’s how the texts followed:

Me: Hey kid! Butter: Hey wats up Me: Aw man. I wish I could’ve said good-by. Butter: i no. same here. i couldn’t find you yesterday morning. i was mad that I couldn’t say good-by but we have to hang out this summer. Me: Haha. Yea. I broke up with my bf, so me, you, lauren, and joren could hang at the mall sometime, and if ur ever in [my neighborhood], come by my house! Butter: Why? And hell yea, now I can come to the mall with you people

it goes on. but that was the most interesting.

for a while, iw as wearing my favorite pair of jeans and getting people to sign them, and Butter wrote: ‘I love you’ so sweet.

Anyways, enough about boys. My blog used to be so interesting, I used to write about life concepts and world issues, now I write just like any other teen. I will try to return to my mature state of mind. I’ve just been a little cluttered lately.

Well, today I went to an antique show. Me and my dad went over to this bench and he started talking, and he reminded me so much of Johny Nolan from a tree grows in Brooklyn, my mother actually remind sme of Katie, Johny’s wife, and my dad said I was always like Francie, the daughter. If all this is true, am I but a character in a book? If you’ve ever read A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, you know Johny dies when Francie is 14. I’ve always ahd the premonition that my dad would die young, and that I would die about 4 years after him. WIll he die next year? Is he just a character in a book? Are we all but characters in sad stories?

I think everyone’s life would make a decent story. Can you imagine? Reading everyone’s life stories? How amazing would that be?

I had a weird dream last night. It contained a few people. There was me, Ari, Joren, Tyler, and a lot of other people. If dreams truly are things you tink about before you sleep, I have no idea WHAT I was thinking. I was back in my elementary school cafeteria. And I went in the lunch line and I decided to get a bowl of pudding so I took the pudding and the line was really long so I ate the pudding and then when I was about to throw it away but the lunch lady said i needed to pay for it. But I didn’t have any money. So she said I could go get money from one of my friends. But if I wasn’t back in 10 minutes that I’d turn into a pumpkin. So I left and asked Deven for some money but she didn’t have any, and she was all crying. But I didn’t have any time so I figured I’d see what was wrong later. Then I asked Ari. But he just started hugging me and he wouldn’t let go. So I kind of draged him around on my quest for money. Then I asked Tyler, and then I moved my hand or something and I hit Joren’s butt, and this girl (that i think is in my gym) was sitting on his lap and they were making out. It was kind of random, and he was like “CHLOE!” and he was really mad. (who wouldn’t be?)

but then he punched me and he missed because i turned into a pumpkin and smashed (Smashing Pumpkins maybe?) to the ground and then Tyler was like “I ♥ Pumpkin Pie! ^^” and his dialouge popped over his head like in an anime series.

It was so weird.

And at dinner I thought of soemthing kind of funny in a silly way. Dad asked me what I wanted for dessert and I said “Gopher please,” (i was out of it) here comes the funny part, then i said: “I could really Go Fer Some Gopher!”

XD

Well, anyways, I finished that book I was reading. Now I’m going to read this series about Vampires (my sister suggested it). I’m not sure which comes first in the series but I know the names are Twilight, Eclipse and New Moon (i think)

And Courtney: I bought 5 Blaqk Audio songs on iTunes. (*I like them!) My favorite is Again, Again and Again, but I aslo bought Stiff Kittens, Semiotic Love, The Love Letter and Snuff On Digital

I’m reading this book called “the five people you meet in heaven”. It really interests me, and it got me thinking. If I died, right now, this very second. Who would be the five people /I/ met in heaven?

1) This kid in the bookstore. He changed my mind forever. He’s an 8th grader from New Jersey (therefor I haven’t seen him since) and he was behind me in line at the Bookstore. He had a pile of four books. I’m extremely nosy so I just had to see what he was reading. To Kill A Mockingbird, some sappy romance novel (for his mom he later told me), a book on Cuban culture and “The Five People You Meet In Heaven”, the EXACT book in my hand. I mean there are millions of books in the world, and we both just happen to pick up this book. That really killed me. But so we start talking (not for very long mind you), and I realize he is a very smart person. I could just tell by the way he talked, he was smart. I like smart people, I really do. And he kind of gave off that impression like /oh its nothing special, everyone’s smart in New Jersey/ or something. Maybe I’ll move to New Jersey or something. I like smart people. They draw me in like magnets, the same way stupid people kind of repel me. But so he really got me thinking. It’s not a /crime/ to be smart. And maybe in another world, its accepted to be smart. And that being so intellectual and conceptual (which i am) it’s okay. Yet now, because we live in a world of fakers, and cheats and killers and just plain idiots, it is by some extent, /wrong/ to be smart? It just hit me, right as he walked out the door, that he really changed my life. And isn’t that what heaven is really about?

2) a certain Josh Baldwin. it was the only person i’ve ever felt SO strongly about. We met at the beach, and we hung out every day for a week. The day I was going to ask him out, he just vanished. And I haven’t seen him since. The boardwalk we’d meet at everyday, I was there that Monday morning. I remember it was kind of cloudy and the surf was rpetty amazing. I went over in my head just how I would ask him. And then poof he was gone. No phone number, no “ill see you eventually”, if I didn’t know better I’d say he dropped off the world. It seemed like nobody knew anything about him. Nobody knew who this Josh with the black hair and brown eyes was. I was so heartbroken, I mean I liked him so much. Today I still have not found soemone esle I care so much about. Sometimes I wonder if he was the one. But it really showed me that life doesnt go according to plan. Life is no fairy tale. I am no Cinderella, he is no prince charming. And the worst part, sometime I wonder if he still even remembers me. Or if I just dropped off the world too, like him. In the back of my mind, I will always care about him. It’s almost been a year now, and I still can not find it in me to shake him from my head… He always finds a way back in.

3) The third will surprise you. It really will. You might want to sit down and hold your breath for a second. This person may have changed my life the most. He changed the way I thought about life forever. A certain Nick Patterson. I realize how crazy that is. Considering how he acts and how he talks, I can almost hear what he’s thinking. We have smiliar minds. The same ideas and beliefs. The same species yes, but a  different beast entirely. He kind of showed me how fake people can be. And to never be fake and to sort of follow what I believe. Always be my true self. It’s weird too, since we have never spoken of such a thing. Sometimes it pops up, maybe for only a minute, and then the subject changes. But he kind of made me aware of things going on. I thank him and curse him all the same. I used to be trusting and friendly. Now I am more weary of people I don’t know. And Nick is to blame. Yet without him, I dont know, I wouldn’t be Chloe’ anymore.

4) The next is my great aunt Margaret. You’ve probably never heard of her but she matters to me. So much. First off, she lives on the most beautiful beach in the world. Just spending a few days at her house is my retreat. It always opens me spiritually. I feel so at peace with myself when I am there. Like I am floating and flying and swimming and sleeping all at once. It is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I’m not sure if it is so much the house or the place as the feel. I just love the feel of it. It feels like a happy house to me. I feel like I am in  heaven when I am there. And then Margaret, she makes the room oh so much brighter. She really showed me the big picture in life. To really meet it head on and be free and do what you want.  I remember I was 8 and she put her hands on my shoulders and said “Chloe’ Brett (my middle name), you’ve only got one life. You only get one. I want you to live it just as best you can. Don’t let nothing stop you. Don’t be afraid. You can change the world” Oh, I got that amazing feeling all over again just reading it. Margaret will forver be my sanctuary that I know I can always rely on.

5) The last person I would meet in heaven… Is not exactly a person. He has the requirments. His name is Henry, and he owns the Pawn Shop on the end of a street on the beach. The locals call him Old Man Henry and he wears an old 40’s top hat to work everyday. He has cancer. Only, Old Man Henry does not exist. I imagined him. He is all a figment of my imagination. I write about him. Sometimes I describe him so vividly I keep wanting to think he is real. Maybe he is real, and I just haven’t met him yet. Sometimes I meet him in dreams and he tells me what to do. I realize how crazy I sound. But he is just as important to me as any other of my friends. I would be devastated if “he” died. But the irony, in the end of this book, I write about him, he loses the battle to cancer. And he dies. I find that so strange. That I kill off someone I love so much. He is wise and always knows what to tell me, and boy can he play piano… But then it hits me and it nearly saddens me. He is not real.

 Well, I finally got my hair cut. (Layered and fairly long sideswept bangs (the shortest about at my nose and the longest just a little passed my ear) I updated my Devaintart. (I’ll add some of the pictures.) *click the links.

Smile For the Cameras

Snowed In Heartbreak Hotel

God am I frusterated!

Okay, me and Ari have been (like REALLY) best friends since the beginning of the school year. I mean he never really was like /hot/ or anything but he was cute and nice and funny, and we BONDED. We tried the whole “more than friends” thing for about an hour, but it just didn’t /work/. I never really had that much of a problem before, because like I said he wasn’t like drop dead gorgeous or anything. We were both single fishes that always stuck together. A lot of people harassed us about that too.

But anwyays, now I’m pretty mad (not at him, no no not at all) because he dyed his hair like this brownish-blonde and everyone’s like “ohmigosh he’s so hot!!!1!!111one!” I /honestly/ don’t see /much/ difference. I’ll admit he looks a lot cuter but for real, a DYE JOB can turn him into the /new/ cutest guy on campus? That’s just really shallow on the school’s part. I mean seriously.

I don’t get what the big deal is. People dye their hair all the time. What makes /this/ any different than when Maddy snuck out and dyed her hair black or when Noel went out and dyed the tips red, no that was /no/ big deal. What makes Ari’s hair ANY different?

I don’t know why I care so much, I just can’t STAND how shallow people can be sometimes. I mean God, have a little depth, even only if it’s a few feet of flavored water. I mean let’s just play pretend for a few minutes. What if Ari gets all caught up in his ego (he has in the past) and then he thinks because everyone wants to be his friend now, he can just get rid of me like an old T-shirt. I mean that /really/ could happen. At my school stuff like that happens all the time. It’s really sad, but it really does happen all the TIME. 

Wow, Ive really taken control of this blog, some people write in like once a month and when they do it’s like a few sentences. I hope you realize I’m spilling my guts right hear. Right on this stage, I’m really spilling my guts. Not as eliquent as I may have imagined but it’ll do the trick.

I finsihed Catcher in the Rye. It really had a weird ending. Phoebe’s on the Carosoul and Holden’s sitting on the bench watching her and it starts to rain, and she’s reaching for the golden ring but he doesn’t want her to reach for it or anything. My dad says that that’s symbolic of not wanting to grow up, but I just don’t really follow, I guess I kinda do. And according to dad, in the last chapter, he’s in a mental hospital. Boy, that ending was really soemething else.