My life’s sort of been on a tight rope lately. Some days are just so amazing. And then the next I slip into a funk. This afternoon I was just so happy. I was literally giving off light. Everyone around me smiled because I was just so happy. I was like a little ball of energy. And what was there to be upset about anyways? Crystal came over, we set up my drumset, we jammed, we had fun. I even got to see Pumpkin today, at an assembly, I saw him, and I’m not sure if he saw me. I even got a 97 on my history test. Overall, today was good. Even when my mom got mad, nothing could bring me down. It was the eternal happiness a small part of me wanted.

But yesterday, yesterday was the pits. I was talking to my friend Taylor on the bus, and some how I began rambling on and on about Pumpkin. And it got me so sad. He’d say: “He’s not that good-looking, he probably would’ve gone out with you.” And I just wanted to bang my head on the window. Yes he is! I wanted to yell. He’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen! He’s a genious! He’s genuine! He’s perfect. Jon says: “I was pretty sure he liked you last year.” And I held back the tears, because I knew they were lieing! They didn’t want to tell me I could never have him! They didn’t want to say, you’re not smart enough, you’re not nice enough, you’re not pretty enough. They thought I’d have a mental breakdown. And I was so close too! But I thought to myself, just be calm, just be calm, they don’t know what you’re feeling, and they don’t know Pumpkin at all. I eventually cooled down. Walking home in the rain because you’re mom was too lazy to come pick you up (she was watching TV when I got home) can do that. I figure, maybe I’ll meet someone spectacular this year. But I’ve sort of given up on the idea. I’m not good enough yet. Crystal says that in high school there are tons of cute, smart guys. And for that I sincerely hope! I’ve been in this Pumpkin trap for nearly a year. It’s time for a change of scenery.