Well, it hasn’t been a great couple days for me. I’ve been feeling kind of down in the dumps, and I’m bored as hell. Despite this, my dreams have been as vivid as ever.

Last night, I had a dream that I was in this strange wold with a few of my friends (Butter is the only one I really remember though) and me and Butter were running around like crazy trying to keep the town at peace. There was this huge skating rink (random) in the center of the town. Then me and Butter went out passed this gate-ish thing, and the grass was about up to our waist. I saw this car and then I noticed my parents were sitting inside. I talked to them for a second and they began rambling on and on about Pumpkin. Then I ran away. And then I woke up.

I guess I haven’t really given specific reasons why I feel like crap so here goes.

I found out that Pumpkin (who I’ve liked for almost a year) had/has (i don’t know) a crush on one of my best friends. So as you can see that kind of put a damper on my day. And I haven’t talked to Butter in a while, I feel like I’m annoying him. Lately, I feel somewhat unlovable. Like no one will ever like me no matter how hard I try (friends and guys both). I haven’t talked to any of my friends (excluding Courtney) in ages, no one’s even picked up the phone to call me. And when I IM them it seems like they really don’t want to talk to me.

Well, I’m remodeling my room. Today I started painting. 3 of my walls are going to be an orange-based white, and one a BAM orange-brown. The two highlight colors are red nd light green. I like painting. I turn on some music and I think, and it’s almost rhythmic. With my arm going up and down in time with the beat of the song I’m listening to. It’s a nice time to think, and contemplate about what I normally don’t get the time to wonder about. It’s a breath of fresh air from real-life. And even if it’s only for a couple hours, I feel at ease an refreshed.