You know what I’ve thinking for the past few days?

Well, I guess first you need to get a little background info. Well, lets just say I saw a sad “someone” from across the cafeteria. He was so sad. He just looked at his shoes, and his brown eyes wandered around the room, like he was scared of something. I could tell he was thinking. Every once in a while he’d put down his head in his hands. He’d look at random people and you’d tell he wanted to cry. I was the first one to notice anything. When we were walking to lunch, I realized he was walking by himself, and his hands were buried in his pockets, and he stared at the ground. He’s never alone; I’ve never seen a moment when he was alone. I knew something was up. And then at lunch, I just look at him occasionally, and I realize what a sad day it is. The windows are open, and the wind (which is uncommon where I live) was like something you’d find in
Chicago. The sun wasn’t out and it was somewhat cold, but I didn’t have a jacket. There was a thick fog over the school, and the day felt dream-like. But I look at him, and it got me like a disease. I was so upset, I started to tear up a little. “Chloe’,” one of my friends finally said. “Chloe’, why are you crying? What’s wrong?” I wiped at my eyes and said: “Every good actress can cry on demand,” They looked at me for a moment more and went back to talking. I put my head to my hands and looked at this “5” that hung over one of the cafeteria exits. It seemed like such an awful number. I felt really sick, and everything went kind of dull, and I just saw that number, and I felt very sick, like I wanted to throw up and sleep for a very long time. And then I looked at the sad guy and he was pretending to laugh with his friends. I could tell it was forced. So I looked to my friends and they were all laughing at some joke I hadn’t heard. I look back and forth between them and the sad boy a table in front of me. I realized what little compassion people have for one another. How could one person be so happy, when one person could be so sad? I looked back at that number 5 and I had to rest my head on the table because my head was spinning. The funny part, no one noticed. I felt so sick. And they were all still laughing at that joke. It was like one of those nightmares people have when you’re an inch tall and everyone’s towering over you and laughing, but you don’t know what they’re laughing at. And then my head started hurting. It killed me knowing someone was unhappy, yet everyone else cared very little. And then I got up and left, I couldn’t take it anymore. Deven caught up with me, and I saw that the sad one, that never walks alone, was walking by himself again. I wished I would have left a few minutes earlier so I wouldn’t have had to see him again. Finally,
Tyler realized something was wrong. Followed by Celeste. Paul was short after. But as soon as they realized the problem, they did little afterwards. Like they didn’t want to get their hands messy, trying to figure something out. I put my knees to my chest and started crying. I hid my face from the class and cried for a few minutes just thinking that somewhere, someone is sad, someone has died, someone was crying. The world will never be a perfectly happy place and it hit me kind of hard. I kept looking over at the sad boy all during class, and he never looked up. He whispered silently to himself, and I saw him writing. It killed me.

I wrote a poem, one of my saddest in a long time. I would post it up here, but I don’t want to reread it because all of the thoughts I was having will come back, and I don’t want them to come back.