I’m in love with to-day. It was my mom’s birthday, and my grandparents, Toni (our neighbor), and Hunter and Danny came over. Danny just got his permit so he was acting like a total bad ass as he pulled into my driveway around 1:30. I introduced them to my family and we went in and out of my room. Man, we, as friends, hit all the bases. We laughed a lot, we joked around; but we also got serious; we got emotional; Hunter started crying at one point. I could go into perfect de-tail of the six or so hours we spent to-gether, but I don’t think it’d read like much. We learned a lot about each other and I’m be-ginning to consider Hunter one of my best friends. When Danny was in my closet trying on a pair of pants he gave me back in grade 7, Hunter and I had a very serious talk. I didn’t really expect it, but he brought it up, like it’d been bothering him for a while. He asked me about one day about a week ago when I felt really sick, and my body wouldn’t stop shaking. I finally told him what had gone down, and he was totally serious with me about it, more than any of my other friends and expressed his concern. His exact words were: “You seriously had the shit scared out of me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” It’s kind of funny, be-cause he comes across as this sarcastic, smart-aleck kind-of kid, but when you get to know him, he’s like this super sensitive, emotional, compassionate guy. It was really cool getting the opportunity to hang out with him. And, as usual, it was amazing to see Danny who I love to pieces. :]

I think I might even go to Caroline’s house to-morrow to hang with her and Scruggs. My social life seems to be taking a very favourable turn; my parents are letting me do a lot more. I think I might make plans to hang out with Danny, Hunter and Emily (Hunter’s girlfriend) next Friday. I really want to meet Emily be-cause I think it’d be really cool if the four of us could hang out all of the time, and from what Hunter tells me, she’s a great girl!

Overall, to-day was just really nice, and I could use more days like this one.

Man, he just can’t re-sist playing head games with me. You know who I’m talking about. Crow; silly, silly, silly Crow. I was finally getting over it- closure; like, okay Chloe’, it’s really over. It didn’t hurt as much to see him in the halls, he wasn’t somehow raveled in every passing thought. I was smiling and flirting, with other guys.

Moving on.

But now he’s chosen to come back into my life. Quietly, without warning. One day we’re not even talking, taking all costs to avoid each other; and the next he’s hugging me and texting me nonstop and smiling at me in the halls. I wish I could say I’m not falling for him again, but that’d be a lie. I never even really got over it completely. … How could I?

Justin and I were in  the library studying when he said: “So, I talked to Crow…”. My heart skipped not just one but a million beats and I had to, once again, extract it from my throat. “Why?” I asked immediately. He then explained they had been hanging out (they’re in some club to-gether) and he asked him if he liked Lauren. Justin explained that he had said no to that one pretty quickly. Then he asked about me. I don’t know why he did exactly, maybe he just wants answers like I do. “Well, I’ll leave that up to you to de-cide.” That was his re-sponce. Crow’s dumb, stupid, can-be-interpreted-any-way response to whether or not he liked me. For me though, it’s a lot of hope.

It’s so funny looking back at all of the guys I’ve liked since grade 7. Well, the funny part is seeing where them and I stand nowadays. Some I haven’t even talked to in about a year, others have be-comes best friends. Unfortunately, none of them ever ended particularly well. Oh well, just another ten or so names to cross off my forever-love list… Ha-ha, what a joke. :] But anyways, this song is to them; all of them. All the dumb good-by’s I could never muster.

Fifteen Minutes Old – Snow PatrolI`m good for inspiration, aren`t I?
You will find
Well, close the door and I`ll go anywhere
You take me to from this bed onto so much more
Care for you, I will
Can I have a picture of you tonight
Keep it with me always in my mind
Touch me cause I can`t move
I can barely breathe,
speechless, breathless
I can`t tell you if I`m here or not
Running both legs tied together
Arms in the air
Care for you, I will
Can I have a picture of you tonight
Keep it with me always in my mind

Man oh man, the things that stick with me. The ghost of Crow is still sort of looming around these days, like one of those secrets in your head you try to quiet but won’t shut up. Well, just another skeleton in my closet of corpses. Things have gotten better be-tween us at least. Sometime the week be-fore last, he called out my name from be-hind me and walked me to seventh hour. Likewise, the Thursday that just passed (what is it with Thursdays and amazing-ness?) he playfully bumped into my side to get my attention and again walked me to class. The same day, he came up to me in the bus loop, touching my chin (being ironic as I sometimes greet people that way) and starting up a conversation with me. However, I’m not really committing myself to him right now. I’m not going to close my heart to every other guy out there for this one who will probably never like me again, and, let’s not forget, really, really hurt me. Unfortunately, there is an overwhelming lack of men at my school who aren’t either stupid, total dicks, boring or taken (and sickeningly enough, the vast majority are all of the above). But oh well, romance is not my main concern right now. I have about four-five hours of homework a night, and am barely keeping my 4.0 GPA. For a while I’ve managed to keep an A in my college class all year so far (even if only by a few points), and brought up my Algebra II grade with some help from my teacher and a few good test grades. Right now, I have all A’s, except for my B in Creative Writing, which, to be honest, seems completely ridiculous to me. She gave me back one of my papers and docked off 20 points be-cause she said she didn’t like my writing style, even though grammatically, and even ideologically, I was right on… I’ll win her over. :] De-spite the fact that I barely ever have the opportunity to talk to them at all, my friends are so supportive. Danny is being just being Danny, in all of his innate awesome-ness. I’ve also be-friended Danny’s buddy Hunter, who is really cool and who I’ve been spending a lot of time with lately (unavoidable since he’s almost always with Danny and Danny’s almost always with me). They both help me a lot with not getting too stressed out with school. I wish I could spend more time with them then I’m reasonably permitted, but I’m just really glad to have them in my life right now. Chris is helping me a lot with my AP course (since he’s taking the same one) and gives me some insight on a lot of the teachers I have now (since he had most of them two years ago). And things are basically going great with all of my close – closer friends (Brie, Spencer, Justin, etc, etc).

The problems I am having are, unfortunately, the two I like to consider “best” friends. Lauren is an obvious one. Ever since late elementary school, we’ve had our issues. It was usually just a matter of her screwing me over and me getting unreasonably mad. I’m not going to go into tons of examples be-cause there are tons for me to choose from, one being her going out with the guy I liked the day after he broke up with me (without asking permission or any of that cordial crap) or when she was hard-core flirting with the guy I had been crushing on for months and made me watch. Those are two that just come to mind immediately and I don’t even really care be-cause they were both soooo long ago (the former in grade 6 and the latter, late grade 7) but she sort of did something similar about a week ago. Not as drastic really, but while we were conversing , she called Crow over (she knows about all the drama be-tween him and me) and gives him this huge hug and starts talking to him. Not wanting to deal with it at all, I just turn and walk away. I’m good at hiding my feelings when I’m really pissed off. Later, I call her out on it, and she starts playing the victim card like I’m the villain here. That wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t had texted both Danny and Lamb to tell them to ask me why I was “mad at her” even though she had already admitted earlier to me what was up. I got pretty bitchy both with her and Lamb. Eventually she apologized and we made amends. Spencer tells me to just give up on her, but I don’t want to. I’ve known her basically since I was born (15 months old or something) and I pretty much grew up at her house, with her family. It’s nice having someone who knows everything about you and understands you, and I don’t want to give that up. Maybe we’ve both changed a lot since grade 4 (when we first started drifting apart), but we always come back to each other in hard, and good times, which makes me think we will be forever intertwined. But I promised myself that this is it. I’m tired of letting people stomp all over me. I think she knows I’m not playing around this time. I’ve been sticking up for myself a lot more lately. I might just be in an endless bad mood on account of getting up too early and doing too much work, but I like to blame the bitchiness on some deep internal change.

And then there’s Katy. I love Katy. She’s probably my closest friend, and definitely my closest girl friend (Goddamn my inability to be-friends females!). But she keeps doing this weird drama thing. And it drives me crazy. I try to ask her advice on things I’m dealing with, but she either a) ignores me, b) says “uh huh” and talks about something more katy-related, or c) re-ports everything I say to at least two other people. This really wouldn’t bother me, but then she gets all pissy with me when I don’t tell her stuff. She often asks me for advice and re-lies on me as a listener, and I’ve re-alized something. She really hates being single, like more than is normal for the romance-obsessed teenage girl. First she goes out with James, a few weeks later Billy, a few DAYS later Dillon (who I introduced her to), then she starts to like this other kid and breaks up with Dillon. When she realized things wouldn’t work out with her new boo, she went back to Dillon within the course of one week. And now she’s flirting with a guy in my creative writing class. I don’t really have a problem with that, that whole new-guy-every-other-moment thing, but she’s usually so enthralled in the drama of it all we can never really have fun like we used to…

Oh well.

I’m really focusing on school right now.

And I’m kinda kicking ass, so, that’s good enough for me.

The only salvation I found all day was in talking to Pumpkin…

That’s, just, so fucked up…

1.       Someone who doesn’t be-lieve me when I say I’m fine

2.       Someone who embraces the past

3.       Someone who knows the right thing to say

4.       Someone who’s always up for anything

5.       Someone who will appear out of nowhere in front of my house

6.       Someone who calls me just to say g’night

7.       Someone who will stay up all night with me

8.       Someone who’s passionate about something

9.       Someone who cares more about others than himself

10.   Someone who makes me feel good about myself

11.   Someone who I’ll let hold me when I cry

12.   Someone who is willing to try something new

13.   Someone who always ask questions

14.   Someone who can be-friend anyone

15.   Someone who re-spects adults

16.   Someone who can make anyone smile

17.   Someone who can laugh at themselves

18.   Someone who can sit with me in silence for hours

19.   Someone who will keep things interesting

20.   Someone who loves to have fun

21.   Someone who’s optimistic

22.   Someone who won’t let me go without a fight

23.   Someone who says “I love you” at the appropriate times

24.   Someone who’s just honest enough

25.   Someone who loves to read

26.   Someone who can keep a conversation and loves to talk

27.   Someone whose eyes sparkle

28.   Someone with something unique

29.   Someone who accepts different people

30.   Someone who is compassionate and empathetic to everyone

31.   Someone who never judges

32.   Someone who will try and like what I like (even if he doesn’t)

33.   Someone who will support me and make me a priority in their life, not an option

34.   Someone who knows where they’re going and how they want to get there

35.   Someone who loves adventure

36.   Someone who doesn’t get freaked out by perpetual planning

37.   Someone who doesn’t think about forever

38.   Someone who never says good-by

39.   Someone who re-spects me

40.   Someone who will skip lunch to help me study

41.   Someone who understands that school comes first

42.   Someone with depth

43.   Someone who just “gets it”

44.   Someone who puts his heart into everything he does

45.   Someone who calls when he wants to talk to me, not be-cause he feels obliged

46.   Someone who my parents can like

47.   Someone who I can take to grandma’s house J

48.   Someone I’d be willing to share Hutchinson Island with

49.   Someone who will take me places

50.   Someone who’s romantic every now and then (but not too much)

51.   Someone who gives me my space

52.   Someone who gets jealous (but not to an excessive point)

53.   Someone who’s not needy or clingy

54.   Someone who isn’t all over me in public

55. Someone who makes and keeps promises

56.   Someone who’s willing to take risks

57.   Someone I can re-ly on.

My days are developing a strange pattern. The earlier hours are dull and uneventful; afternoons are light-hearted and enchanting. After school is usually so depressing, generally be-cause I see Crow, and he keeps doing these little things that make me so frustrated. Like yesterday, for instance, my day was all fine and dandy. My morning was filled with lots of new cute guy, who isn’t as amazing as Crow and definitely cannot replace him in my heart, but is still really nice and funny and who I get along with well. I had some good laughs in a few of my classes and thoroughly enjoyed my lit period, par usual. The day seemed just peachy, especially since I’d barely seen him all day (just a few encounters outside by the portables, where I ignored him and he ignored me). Well, the whole “getting over him” thing still isn’t exactly going as I’d been trying for, and one of the only hopes I’d found is that I could at least assure myself he was not the same guy I gave my heart too. He dressed differently, and talked differently, and smiled differently, and just wasn’t the Crow I’d grown to adore. This new him seemed fake, and artificial. The one I used to know was a loner, philosophical, and mysterious and intelligent. He was passionate and worldly, he had depth, but yet, at the same time, could put a smile on anyone’s face. But since that last day with him, he seemed different. Aloof, and a fake sort of enthusiast, his smile didn’t look genuine like they used to. His eyes no longer sparkled…

But as I come downstairs after seventh hour, I run right into him. He’s literally inches away from me, not an avoidable distance, so I say his name and he turns to me. He neither smiles nor scowls, like I’m unimportant, like he doesn’t even realize who I am or what I once meant to him… “Are you okay?” I ask, be-cause this far-away look is not one I like seeing on him. I’ve seen him upset, I’ve seen him angry, I’ve seen what he’s capable of… “Yeah,” he says. And that’s all he says. As I re-call it, it didn’t even sound like him.  Right at this moment, the crowd dissipates in several areas and he moves from me, without catching my eye again, and without even a glance back. He goes to the left, and I go to the right. This encounter’s over apparently. This alone is enough to upset me. I find myself with my head down, staring at people wondering what they see in me. A lonely someone I think, be-cause I can feel it taking over me at that moment. It’s so de-pressing, that I used to mean something to this person, and he used to mean something to me too, and then he just de-cides to walk out of my life, without reason. Maybe I’m looking for what we used to have, but, really, I think I just want closure. Be-cause all of these little maybes keep nagging at my heart. But he doesn’t want to give me any answers; I really don’t think he cares at all. I feel like I should’ve known better, I feel like I should’ve seen this coming and avoided this kid by a mile. But he knew what to say, he knew who to be, he told me lies, and I fell for it.

So I go to my locker and get my books as fast as I can. A few of my friends call my name, but I pretend like I can’t hear them, be-cause there’s just something about seeing other people smiling and laughing when you feel like dying. I go out to the bus stop and, knowing Danny won’t be there, search for Hunter (a friend of Danny’s), be-cause I really just want to hug someone. But I can’t find him, and Lauren’s busy with people so I go to someone who can always make me smile- Joren. Courtney (his girlfriend) isn’t riding the bus home so he’s standing there listening to his iPod and I just go up and we start conversing. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Crow approaching us. I turn to face him and we just stare at each other… it breaks my heart to do this, so I turn back to Joren. But I realize Crow’s still staring at me, within touching-distance away. I turn back to him, and the stare-down continues. Finally I say “What?” with a little bit of laughter in my voice, be-cause I’m sure that’s what he’s aiming for. And he smiles. Crap. I haven’t seen him smile like that in so long. And his eyes, they sparkle. And the realization comes to me. He is the same guy I fell for. He’s back in jeans and old sneakers and ruffled t-shirts. He’s optimistic and smiling. And he smiles at me, be-fore turning his attention to Joren, asking him about his day. Joren seems unconcerned and really doesn’t pay too much attention to the conversation, and eventually Crow walks away.

And that, that whole encounter nearly rips my heart in two. Be-cause, I sense that now he knows the power he has over me. He’s just playing games with me, just a joke to him. He says: “Haha, there’s that girl I used to actually give a crap about.” Like it’s something insignificant, and funny.

But, unfortunately, I don’t take it that lightly.

I get on the bus, turn on my music (David Nevue primarily) as loud as it goes, sit by myself to-wards the back, and just can’t stop thinking about him. A few tears escape my eyes and I really hate myself for it. I invest my heart into things. It takes a lot for me to do it, but when I meet someone like that, or stumble across something like that, I give it everything I have. And I hate the my judgment was wrong, yet again. I walk home in silence. I’m so lost in my own world, I walk in front of a car and have to jump to get out of the way in time when I see it coming. I get home, tune my guitar by ear and play until my fingers bleed, be-cause I just don’t want to think about him anymore…

While at work to-day, I feel painfully lethargic; this is out of character for me. I find myself thinking about him, more than I should be. And for once, I turn off my phone, empty my head and just throw myself into my work. My heart does an odd little jump when I realize I’ve finished everything that must be done in two hours, an effort that usually takes me four. I find odd jobs here and there to occupy the re-maining time. More than anything I want to talk to Ms. St. John, be-cause she’s one of my favourite people in the world, but Nicole, one of my co-workers is there and I feel it may be-come awkward if I strike up a conversation. So I stay quiet.

And then an odd sort of revelation overcomes me. I’m sick of hurting. I’m sick and tired of letting something as insignificant as a guy get to me like this. Nothing’s going to come of feeling sorry for yourself. By re-membering the past, you’re only fooling yourself, trying to elude that this guy is better than what he actually is. You’re only re-calling the things you love about him, not the things you hated. Forget the good times, they’re gone now. Summer’s over. It’s time to grow up and move on.

It really hit me, hard. I don’t de-serve to be treated like this, to be toyed with, and hurt like this. We had our good times sure, but he’s being an ass about this, and I’m willing to accept that and open my heart up to something different.

It’s high school. Anything can happen. By tying myself down to this guy that can’t give or provide me with anything, I’m only closing the door to dozens of other opportunities.

Those doors are fucking swinging off their hinges now.

Good-by Crow and good fricking riddance.

Last Days of Summer – Silverstein

The bright light beams
From her eyes
Like broken glass
Or a broken heart
Who would have guessed
You’d leave me here
Beneath my eyes
I feel the tears
I hold backI won’t leave
Leave this way again
I won’t leave this way As my legs
start to shake
I feel nothing
I wanted you
I needed you
But you weren’t there
For me this time
Not for meI won’t leave
Leave this way again
I won’t leave this wayYou
That I loved
That I needed
You weren’t there
Not this time
YouWhat should I do?
I was supposed to love you
What should I do?
I won’t leave
What should I do?
I was supposed to love you
I cannot feel youLast breath I feel
Warm air intake
The last summer’s day
Last one I takeI won’t leave, leave this way
I won’t leave
Lost it all for you
I won’t leave
When the shadows beam
Misery remains
I won’t leave this time

I find myself caring less and less the more days that go by. It’s a sad turn of events, but in all honesty, one I be-lieve that had to occur. But, hey, I’ve come to realize lately, the people I thought would’ve left me long ago haven’t, and the ones I thought would be with me until the end aren’t… Goes to show how crappy my intuition is. However, my mind, unfortunately still wanders to that dark place in my brain sectioned off as “CROW” (yeah, he’s got his own fricking de-partment now, what do ya know?!). I was never good at that “getting over it and moving on” thing, but I think I’m making substantial progress. No, that’s a lie, I still can’t forget about him, but I just don’t express the feelings of regret and guilt I feel as openly. Hurrah for all the introverts out there.

In the friends aspect of life, things actually aren’t bad. I’ve still got Katy, which is a blessing. I don’t even care if she’s enthralled in her own life all of the time; as long as she takes me along for the ride (and hopefully lets me ride shotgun) it’s all good. Unfortunately, things could be better be-tween me and Danny / Butter (yeah, yeah, I said it). We were really close over the summer but now I feel like I’m sort of losing the bond I once had with him… Things are fantastic with Brie and I actually, which is both surprising and re-freshing. It seems like the only friend-esque moments I have with her are when we’re both crying our eyes out, but lately we’ve been having a great time, laughing a lot and sharing a lot of sweet moments. Things are just as they always are with Spencer, and, God, I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I love the relationship I have with him. Justin’s been helping me sort through some stuff lately which I also appreciate. So, well, if this whole Crow thing has taught me anything (be-sides not being so giving with my heart in the future), it’s which of my friends I can trust and rely on. In addition to the Power Five, I’ve been spending a lot more time lately with Caroline which is so great be-cause we always get along and she’s a great listener. And, well, the best and worst part of all of this is Lauren… I’ve really missed having her in my life, and it didn’t really seem like she wanted me in it either most of last year. But now, she’s putting an effort into it, which isn’t expected of her. But, I like it. She’s like my sister after all, and we can always find common ground. Sometimes it’s kind of nice to be with someone who knows everything about you without having to have anything explained to them. I really want to make our friendship work this time (again; I know I’ve said that be-fore) but this whole Crow thing has me walking on egg shells. I thought him and I were going somewhere, and we were, just, ya know, turns out it was a dead end. I really don’t want to go through it again. I can’t re-member ever hurting about something this badly for so long.

And you know what they say:

“Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.”

The only way to describe how I’m feeling right now is scared. No other word fits or feels comfortable and correct there. I’m scared for my family, I’m scared for my friends, for a change, I’m even scared for myself. My mind keeps going to that dark place I try and keep it away from, and I can’t stop myself from worrying. I feel anxious and apprehensive about everything. My fucking hands won’t stop shaking.

I keep trying to get my mind off of everything. Usually going to work is enough to do that for me. I’ve been at St. John’s for almost a year now and I really love it there. To-day, I threw myself into my work, turned off my phone and went at it, full boar, crying a lot of the time. But it didn’t work. I couldn’t get any of it off my brain.

First of all, things with Crow are just getting worse and worse. Not only did I find out he had Mercer Disease (http://mercerdisease.org/) (not a big deal for me, but it’s still something I feel like I kind of should’ve known about especially since he’s had it for a few months now) , I also am be-ginning to think he likes one of my best friends, Lauren. Justin and I were talking about it, and I actually started tearing up. I don’t cry in front of people. Ever. I held it back, but he felt bad and didn’t know what to say. Like, this thing with Crow has gone on too long. I want to get over it and move on, but I feel like I can’t leave something this perfect, just, well, sitting here. It’s like leaving half way through a really good movie. You just can’t do it without looking back over your shoulder at least once.

And things with my best friend, Butter, and I are not good. He wants to get back to-gether with this dead end girl who totally broke his heart. We’ve been fighting a lot lately. I’m not telling him what to do, only listing the pros and cons (but mostly the cons) about being with her, but he doesn’t seem to care. Did I mention she hates me? Yeah. It’s like he’s just willing to throw away our friendship. Not cool man.

I’m sure I could have put this more eloquently, but I’m feeling so anxious and jittery now I can barely formulate correct words. I literally typed this in like five minutes, all the thoughts are racing through my head at an otherworldly pace and I can feel my breath speeding up with it.

Goddammit, I shouldn’t be scared, about any of this, or nervous or whatever but I can’t help it. I’m fucking terrified of where this is all headed.

It’s completely ridiculous how often I think of and about him. I’ve never let anything bother me like this. Maybe it’s be-cause I see his face everywhere I go. In the hallway; be-hind a closed door; in every hope and in every dream… The bottom of every wishing well and the flame to every birthday candle…

He’s in the face of that boy in my writing class and in the girl I pass in the street. And he’s in the voice of my friends when they tell me that it’s not worth pursuing.

But I just can’t get over it. Every unimportant, miniscule thought crawls back to him, on ghostly haunches begging for just one more memory… and it hurts in knowing it may not happen.

Be-cause he’s just too far away now. Like a dream… where I can close my eyes and he’s here again; sitting with me on that bus to nowhere with his eyes closed in ecstasy; hiding under playgrounds laughing when he falls asleep with his head in my lap; concealed in a hidden alcove in the supplies closet talking about everything… But when I open my eyes, poof, he’s gone again. With no mark in time or proof that he had ever been… I miss his smile most. And his eyes. Those beautiful green eyes I could lose and find myself in. Those eyes that stare into your soul and those eyes that you can fall into if you come too close or approach too quickly.

It’s terrifying what he means; what he re-presents. I’m not even exactly sure what it is. I imagine something ominous and nauseating. But I be-lieve I’m too cowardly to attempt to sort through these waves of emotions that consume me. I’m so afraid of what may come from it. What startling realization, what hollow epiphany that changes everything… I just can’t figure it out. What’s so special about him? What separates him from the rest of the world? What gives him that power to completely control and manipulate my heart? Who gave him this ability? Why can’t I just move on and find someone new? It seems only legitimate considering all of the times he’s hurt me. Left me with all of these questions that sting my stomach and this uncertainty that keeps nagging at my lungs…

I just can’t stop re-membering who’s in-side. That guy that when I de-scribe to my friends say: “wow, he sounds like everything you’re looking for,” and I can only close my eyes and try to chase away the foreboding feeling like this is my one shot at really caring about someone.

And it feels like it’s slipping through my fingertips.

It sort of just sunk in at lunch to-day. Holy shit. To-morrow I start high school. This summer felt infinite and endless, like God would put it on loop or something. And I keep imagining I’m going to stay up late watching cheesy game shows, and wake up at exactly 6:45 with no definite plans for the day. Where I can wander be-tween my piano and guitar and go on spontaneous bike rides to nowhere. This summer was weird as anything, sure, that’s a given, but it was insightful. I learned a lot. I think I grew up a little bit too. Which isn’t necessarily a bad or good thing. I’m still really young, so it wasn’t any mandatory “coming-of-age” or whatever, and yeah, I’ve still got a hell of a lot to learn.

But, hey, I got a head start. :]

Well, I know my schedule, and I’m going to tell you now, it’s be-yond perfect:

1.       Pre-AP biology

2.       Pre-AP English

3.       Gym

4.       Algebra II

5.       World Cultures Honours

6.       AP Environmental Sciences

7.       Creative Writing

I really think I’ll get a kick out of the creative writing class. Be-cause I love writing, sure, but also be-cause I’m so curious to the sort of people I’ll meet. I’m hoping they’re passionate people, like me, but I have a feeling the class will be composed of two sorts of people. 1. The kind who took it as a cheese class for an easy A to raise their GPA. And 2. The kind who thinks it gives them scene kudos or indie points. :O Like, I’m terrified I’m going to walk in and everyone will be wearing all black with eyeliner running down their face writing poetry about how much life sucks.

Be-sides that, everything seems as though it’ll work out pretty rad. All of my close friends (Katy, Danny, Justin, Brie and Spencer) are all going there. And basically all of my other friends excusing those younger than me, Ari and Lamb are all along for the journey. :] Unfortunately, I don’t have any classes with my bestie Katy, and I probably won’t with Danny, Justin or Brie, but I have a good feeling I’ll have at least one with Spencey. :]

Haha, we’ll see. :3