Wow…My blog has turned into a Neopets/Art Blog….hehe

Not really my intentions, I just don’t really have much else to blog….nothing else is really going on.

Finally did get a charger for my camera about a month ago but I can’t seem to find how to video. I’m starting to think it dosent do that. What digital camera these days does not have that feature?! It’s a Casio Elixim. I might end up selling it to help pay for a Canon perhaps…like the one I use to have. I miss that camera. But this takes picturea still so I’m having some entertainment with it I guess.

There was a fire too. Two blocks down from us. Smoke filled the air so thick that it seemed the fire was a few doors down. It was a little frightint since there was a great fire that nearly destroyed our city years ago. It’s part of our history.

Recently…as in just a few minutes ago I had abit of an argument w/ my boyfriend. Sometimes he acts a little to cocky for my liking.

He’s one of those people who are good at everything, which I don’t mind because If I need help doing anything, such as playing games on neopets, I have one of those ‘ultimate people’ lol.

Just now he was saying again how he can do anything, I sarcastically started asking if he knew about creating websites usuing html. He ‘claimes’ he can. The basics are pretty normal for people who generally use computers to know now adays so I give him that. But he got cocky with it, especially when I said that one code error could make everything or atleast the majority of it not work. I said this because I know of one thing he cant do and that is spell, which is pretty crucial that you not mispell codes which is almost another language, a computer language. So if you can’t spell in this language….get where I was going with that? As well he’s not even a computer user. I could live on it, he’s gets bored with it, as if there is nothing to to on it where I have limtied time (I feel sometimes, lol) for all the internet has to offer me. He claims her knows html because his sister showed him on myspace, but it’s much harder than he thinks.

I guess I got a little upset again because I thought computers were the one thing I was better at than him, that he couldn’t surpass me in.

I have to be honest though, at times I do feel envious. Usually its when I think I pretty good at something, then he does it better. It didnt get to me at first, but when he seemed to do all I thought I was uniquely good at just as good or better, usually better. I don’t mean to be that way, but I have the emotion like others and it comes out sometimes and I get frustrated with him and I can be a bit rude about it.

I fear my envy might turn this into a competition between us, causing much tension. I really really don’t want that.

If anyone reads this, and has and idea of what I can do to not feel this way, please help.

S.O.S. ////ChezAi

 Mi amoures::

Animals
Bijou *my hamster (^.^)*
Chocolate Chip Frappacino
Dance
Ebay
Felines
Gackt
HelloKitty
IceCream
Jade
Kuromi
Lavender
Mochi
N.O
Ongaku
Pisces
Quentin Tarantino
Rainbows
Snakes
Trampolines
Umbrellas
Vanilla
Warmness
XXI
Yaoi
Zydeco

¡Y tú!!!

¿Te amo, Me amas?
ChezaI

I can’t get a job because I have no transportation.

I can’t get a car because I have no credit.

I need a credit card to earn credit.

I can’t get a card without credit.

???

Life is cinfusing.

Growing up is scary.

This, on top of rent, car payments, car insurance, heath insurance, water, electricity, phone, food, nessecities???!!!

Life seems so impossible and I sometimes don’t think I can do it.

Life is harsh and I try not to be weak, but I get close to it.

I don’t have to worry about all that right at the moment.

Lucky to have no real bills right now, but the thought of it, in my future, it’s a bit frighning.

I don’t want to grow up.

�

{{S.O.S}}>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Cheza.

I need something to keep me occupied during these boring times I go thorugh.

I remember I use to love making things, so I’m thinking about going back into that. I want to make jewerly and perhaps progress from there. It would be cool if they sold too, I could use the extra money to get my self setteled in a place instead of crashing around…

I also might be going into a side buisness with Trey and I. It’s sales, but not sure on it yet.

I haven’t updated on the shop like I said I would, but not much has changed except for the fact that we sell more variety of things to eat. We still need an expresso machine though. This place is a tourist attraction mostly and forigners are big on expresso from what I observe so it works out, but my ideas have not yet been fully processed.

But as for my hobby, I have ideas like how people make the sweets jewerly collections. Just things like that. I have also though of selling cool funiture from ideas I thouhgt of one night. My dad was heavily into consturction growing up so I think that might be where this comes from. Maybe i’ll put up some blue prints are actual ones I make someday.

As for now it sucks because I proabably will not be able to be as creative as I want until I get setteled in a place with a consistent ride to and from work and ect. Then they madness will begin!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Cheza<3<3<3

PS:: So lately these people have been coming to me for help with their music devices. The one claims to be a pirate and he says I’m a witch, but in a good way. o.O. Well it is fun to pretend sometimes. ^.^V

Today is a special day for me in a way. Sometimes I’m not too proud of, especially lately, but I used to love it. Things were better then though. Times has been rough the past few years, too rough to enjoy. Either I had no money, or I had just been too miserable. Now, I just don’t think it’s worth the time, money…it doesn’t seem worth much no more because the reason or subject of this day seems worthless.

For now, I just would like to remember a dear friend their my whole childhood until 2006 who is no longer with me::

Muffy,

I miss you and I love you and I never forget you. There has not been a day so far I can rememeber (even though my memory is bad) that I have not thought, if even for a moment, of you. When I am happiest, for some reason I thank you, and when I am at my lowest times, I think of you, and cry to you. I talk it out with you in spirit, and I pray to you to make it better. And even though, when going through the tough times, I will cry a lot to you to take me with you, I do not really mean it. I guess in all I really do want to live out my life and when I die, we will be reunited again and I cannot wait til the day. But until, I still love you and I hope you know this and I thank you for continuing to be my guardian angel throuout my life.

Love Eternally, Cheza

All this instability really got to me lately. Traveling from place to place, not quite sure how I’ll get to wherever it is I end up that night or how I’ll get to wherever it is when needed the next day. Where I’ll sleep that night,  where I will have to leave my stuff, when can I get my stuff. How to be with whom I want when I want.

How to make it all work…that is what I desire right now. I need some kind of guidance, but know one seems to have that…know one else can seem to help me, know one else knows.

I have thoughts…and no one is there to hear them so I can be helped.

But then, lady, a stranger, saw my despair and she prayed for me to have the strenght I need and the guidence I need.

Oddly, as realistic as it may seem, I sort of think it worked. Ever since that day, things have been easier for me. Everything seems to be falling into place now.

I was told that I would be rewarded for getting through these troubles. I hope so.

Already to start, I’m more stable. I sort of have two places to stay while I try to move(again) into a place more my own. I still have those days where my plans are changed at last moment and I switch nights I spend at each but I have a constant ride now for the most part.

I am still happily with my boyfriend but my relationshp with my BFF continues to fail. I went to visit her the other day and I had some stuff at her house so as I was leaving I decided to get some of it to bring to my mom’s house which is where I am ‘mainly’ living. She got mad instantly and then started complaining that she had to be the work soon but at the same time she told me that I might as well grab all my stuff.  ???? So what does she want? Does she want me to really take it all or does she want us to stop and bring her to work. So trying to be polite & bring out the last bag I had. The next thing I know she’s roughly grabbing my things and slightly throwing them together into the hall way for me to get. This made me mad. This is the main reason why I wish not too see her so much lately because she has been acting like this. But she complains that I never talk/visit her anymore. I hope she’ll one day realize why when I’ve stopped finally…along with alomost everyone else who has already.

Another thing I need to get off my chest is how she told me I don’t have anything compared to her. She thinks she’s better than me (or doing better) because she has her own place and I’m not. The only reason she has her own place (with nothing in it but a matress, a dresser, the smallest tv and her stuff in her room) is from the money she gets ’stripping’ and I refuse to take my clothes off for some money. Honestly I think I have it better. I have  a good job running an internet cafe that I might inherit someday and most importantly I have friends and people who enjoy beng around me. So in the end she may gloat about what she has but she won’t have anyone to share it with soit will be worth nothing while everything I will obtain, let it be a home, car, or whatever even personal things I will at least have people to show, share, and enjoy it with and in the end that will matter because I’ll be happy and she won’t.

So for now, I’ve kinda just let her go to do her own thing while I’ll do mine.

So right now my short term goals are to get another job for extra income. At the moment I do make enough to live good off of for my first job. What I want the second job for is to help get more income to save for things like a car and a place and I really want to but some people things that I had to pass up since I had just moved close to Christmas time and had no more to buy for others.

Well wish me luck! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Cheza

de mi amour’s hermana’s Inlaw familia.

So after work, my boyfriend and his sister and his brother in law picked me up and invited me over to his brother in law’s family weekend party. It was really fun! Everyone was dancing almost the whole night. I did not mingle much because I am a very shy person but I still had fun. Mostly we hung out outside with the dogs and the kids.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ChezK.

This I would say I felt is my first true and special Valentines.  I didn’t do anything too special, but I was with some one extremely special. He got me a very adorable red bear that he stuck a chocolate rose in the grip of its arms but someone in the house unfortunately has eaten the chocolate rose. (T.T)

He also got me chocolates and smothered me in XOXOXOX which I loved best! (^.^)V!

Then, as my gift to him since he doesn’t particularly care for chocolate or stuffed animals, I took him out to eat.

Things got a little crazy on Valentines so the day after I treated dinner @ La Carreta (Mexican food). He loved it and i did too! I enjoyed most of the dinner that it was just the two of us.  ああ~  ロマンチック!!! (^.^)VVVVV!!!

He ordered the shrimp and steak fajita and I ordered a Bean and cheese burrito with rice.

Later we went to a parade. (My first in years!)

I took some pictures of today but I didn’t have time to upload and post.

This one I saved for today:

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO ChezAi

So yesterday, I had a friend coming to pick me up from work and a few minutes after she tried to stop at a red light and the car hydroplaned into the one in front. It wasn’t so bad though. The car in front just got a crack and some paint scratches on the bumper in primarily the one spot. But my friend’s car was all messed up in the front. The hood was smashed up and the lights broke out. She still managed to drive it home though. I saw it coming. Believe it or not I was thinking of a similar scenario as I was waiting for her to come. But it was something that made my day abit more interesting.

So my phone came in yesterday too! Just this morning I took some pictures to try out on the phone. Then I edited them in photoshop.

�

Also I tried takin a picture of my nail design but it did not show good. Maybe I’ll try again to take better ones but it is a bit difficult on a phone camera due to its lack of quality in most cases compared to a regular digital camera.

It was V shaped gold and black tip design and three fingers had the jewels on it. This has to be one of my least favorite designs I have had done. The people first of all did not give me what I wanted and told me (well tried) telling me what to do and get and they were mean and rude.

I use to document all my nail designs on my phone before this but it was lost before I could save the photos…which sucks because I had some good ones.

�

�

Well this is all for now…I have something i have to do right quick. Same time tommorrw? lol…okay!

�

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOCheza

Today I went to the park.

On the way we stopped at a store to buy bread.

I was upset at first becacuse I was trying to feed the duckies, but the segulls kep stealing it from them.

I do have to say though, on their behalf, that seagulls deseved their food. They fought for it unlike the ducks who gave up. I guess that can be admirable as well as annoying of them.

Eventually I did feed the ducks and manages to get three of them to take it from my hand…which is how I learned ducks don’t hurt when they bite…i think so?

Sadly today was not a good day as it went on. My bff, bf, and I got into a fight.  I was sad because I had to make a decision, tough one. It was who I wanted to spend more time with and usually I guess most people would answer their friends…but they are not in love. And even if at the moment it seems wrong to you,  from an outside pov,  we will learn in the end.

I was given the advice of following what I felt was right at the moment. I’m more that half confident it was the right decision, but not 100%. Instead, I did what I wanted because I believed it was what my heart was telling me what it wanted—to be loved.

People tell me (us) that we are too young to understand what love is. I believe that maybe true for the most part. I believe love takes time to learn and trust. I also believe not many young people have true love beacuse they have not began to learn it or trust it being fagile at first. Either/or they are blindsider by other things more important to them than finding love. Many are too young for the commitment, they are not ready to be tied down because most young people really just want to feel free.

I wasn’t directly looking for love I  guess…but it found me and I wasn’t about to let what I believed to be real and true leave.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX Cheza & Eien I.T.S.U.M.O