どうして…?

どうして…

How could she do this to me…

I thought she was my bff…

-sigh- I’m very sad. I think I found love…remember? I’m happy with him, I really like him alot and he does for me to…but she’s taking him away…My Bff wants to kick him out…and this time I don’t think I can do anything to stop.

Yes, he did bring it upon himself but then she goes and over dose it.

She never even tells him though that she is mad, she won’t talk about anything really, especially if she is upset with you. She just waits till she can’t take it no more and explodes on you. I told her already that if she dosen’t like something someone either dose or says, she should let them know, not act like it’s allright and then they get confused when all of a sudden it isn’t anymore.

But i almost cried last night, but I didn’t. I wanted to, but not in front of her, especially because of the topic it’s about.

But now, if he is gone, I will hardly ever get to see him…it would basically be over…

I begged, I tried and she still kept saying no, but I had hope when I awoke and she seemed a little at ease about it, but as time draws near I get more and more worried.  I hope when I get there later, he is not gone.

I definitely will cry until she takes him back in!

I think she’s a bit jealous because everyone says I spend most of my time with him, like I said before. When I am trying to spend time with him, I can’t enjoy it because she makes me feel guilty and uncomfortable. All I think about is her  and I feel bad/guilty and I end up not enjoying being with him, but at the same time I so desperately want to because when we do get too and I’m not feeling guilty about it, it’s so warm feeling…it’s good.

But even if this is the case, how could she not think of what I want or how I feel. I may not let her know directly just yet, or it may spill out.

I don’t know at the moment…

Please wish for me in your dreams…opps…I mean US!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOCheza

To My BFF:: Ravey Please don’t…I’m still and always will be ur bestest and I love you…but I love him too…I wish I could talk to you about my realtionship too, because that’s what friends or for…but I can’t with you. You keep judging and critizing and disagreeing with it…and it hurts.

It’s hurting more than you know…

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