With only two more months of school remaining, I should have a job lined up already.  But… no.  I haven’t applied anything yet.  Having no idea where I would be two months later, I am so unclear and frustrated about my near future now….  I don’t know two months later whether I should quit my current part time job if I still haven’t found a full time job yet, or just stay and stick with it.  And so, I can’t plan ahead whether I am staying in LA or moving back home.

I want to go home, but I don’t want to be unemployed and sitting at home all day long.  I am tired of my current job, but I need the income.  Do you see my dilemma?

So…now, I am sitting in my apartment, which lease ends in two months.  I want to know where I will be next.

For those of you who read the book, you probably know the line “move with the cheese.”  Move with the cheese…   My cheese has moved to the US for years now, and I think I have been moving myself to the US little by little also.  At least, that’s what I think…..  For all these years, I have been adopting the lifestyle, the culture, the language, the environment, and everything of the US.  It seems like, in many people’s eyes, that I am learning these things impressively fast.  This sounds good and makes me feel proud of what I have done.  However, as time past, I realize the “side-effect” of giving such impression to others.  People slowly see that I have not conquer the things I learn and improve as much as I appeared to be.  They got disappointed.  They are disappointed in me, which I did not expect nor wanted it to happen.  People now expect me to be better; expect me to be what they thought I am.  Well, I am not there yet…. and I can’t just be like that in a blink of an eye.

I am constantly improving just as I have ever been.  I am moving with the cheese since the very moment my cheese has moved.  All I am begging for, from all of you, are time and acknowledgement.  Please allow me some time to learn and improve myself.  Please help me and lead me to become better instead of letting me get away with things.  I will very much appreciate your acknowledgement and encouragement.  And I am not asking for a lot.  I truly hope you understand.

Haven’t been writting here for awhile… for my life has been simple and smooth, nothing inspiring, special, nor upset happened. No complaint. Just living my life.
Graduation is getting closer and closer. I really need to start applying for jobs. But first, I need to write a good recommandation letter for myself…. I am sure I am not the only one doing this… My manager asked me to write my own recommandation letter myself, and she will sign it… I wish I know what she thinks about me… so I know what to write. I honestly object such idea… but she is my manager. What can I say… I would rather my manager write this letter, so that I know who I am in others’ opinion, what I am good at that I do not realized, and what I think I am good at but not how it is in her eyes. By knowing this, I get a better understanding of myself, and therefore, improve myself.
However, it doesn’t seem like I have such valuable opportunity. “I am busy enough. Cherrie, why don’t you write it youself and I will sign it.” said my manager. “I have done this to my other employees before.”
“uh….o..k..” I replied. Great… now I have to think what I should put in my recommandation letter. I do not want to be too humble, and I need to be honest. I have never written one for anyone else before, nor seen one. What can I do….

New quarter has just started, but I am tired of school already…  This is the first quarter ever in my17+ years of school life that I  have classes only on Tuesday and Thursday.  I thought it will be relaxing and have more time to study at first… but it’s actually making me lazier… >.<  Since I only have class two days in a week, I don’t take school serious anymore.  This is so bad… I don’t want to fall behind. Can someone help me??? I need some kind of force or motivation…

Recently, I have been lacking of patience.  I have lost my temper a couple times already with the month of March, which is rare for such a short period of time.  I don’t know why or what’s wrong with me, but I need to stop this.

Normally, people become inpatience when they are under stress or pressure.  (um…. I don’t think I am under pressure though…)  People also lost their temper when they are upset.  Am I upset about anything? ….I don’t know… I might be depressed, but not really upset.  Do people usually become impatience when they are depressed? If so, this might be the reason.  Oh…no.. if this is the case… I think I will be lacking of patience for a while…. 

Sorry my friends, I hope you can understand and forgive me when I am losing my temper…

Today’s post is solely for myself… Nobody would probably understand it.   Don’t ask me questions…  because I won’t clarify anything.  This is all about my personal issues.

Have you ever felt your heart is being squeezed?  Feel like someone or something is trying to take your heart away; like your heart is torn into pieces.  It is not a good feeling.  It hurts, with no physical pain….

I have such feeling every time I see an young Indian woman.  I don’t hate them.  It is just my personal issue.  I feel that there is an invisible hand squeezing and stealing my heart every time.  It hurts me inside.  Tears always run down my face when it happens….  I am in pain…deeply.

Happy Birthday to me~

Happy Birthday to me~

Happy Birthday to myself~~~

Happy Birthday to me!!!

I have been so busy lately….. 24 hours a day is really NOT enough!  Homework assignments and midterms from every classes are making me crazy.  I don’t like the quarter system at all!  With the quarter system, the class is only two and a half months long.  And each class has 2 midterms, 1 final, and weekly homework assignments.  Let’s do the math.  If you are taking 3 classes in a quarter, you have 6 midterms, 3 finals, and 30 homework assignments in 10 weeks.  Basically, a test and 3 homework every week….   what a nightmare… :::>.<::::

Besides school, I work 20 hours a week which means 20 hours less to study and do homework.  I don’t care about work that much because school is my priority.  To me, work is a escape from school.  Just a couple hours a day at work, I can absolutely forget about school, homework, midterms, etc.  In a certain degree, work is my place to be released from school(and get paid meanwhile).

Life is stressful and busy with both school and work. However, I like it.  I like to be busy and running around all day long.  I will be bored if I have nothing to do…  ^_^

After planning with a counsellor, I am now confirmed that I am graduating this June.  I cannot believe I am graduating already. It seems like I have just started college yesterday.

Knowing that I will be graduated within half a year,  I need to start planning what I want to do after college.  I went to the Undergraduates Business Society job fair unexpectedly and without any preparation today.  I have spoken with a couple recruiters from banks, private financial institutions, and business/financial related State departments.  I was amazed by how everyone is interested in me.  And the fact that I was not dressed up and not having my resume with me does not disappointed them at all.  Instead, they love me because of my rich experience and knowledge of the field.  I was asked repeatedly by each recruiters to send them my resume.  Looks like there are plenty of opportunities for me after college.

My orginal purpose of going to Santa Monica today is to buy a nice pair of Jeans that fits me perfectly.  But the trip ends up with a lot more than just a perfect pair of Jeans.

After the Christmas sales, After Christmas Sales, End-of-Year Sales, it is now Final Clearance.   hummm…. Final Clearance… love it… can’t resist… hehe ^_^.  Every single store on the street has a huge Sales sign out.  Stores that go on sale all the time are doing a ”entire store” sales event with the deepest price mark down ever.  Stores that don’t go on sales as frequent are taking up a pretty large portion of the store for sales items too.  The percentage of the mark down from every stores is above 50%!  Only if you have looked at the price tag… I seriously cannot put an equal sign between the price and the quality of the item.

So this is the result of my trip for a pair of jeans:

• A pair of the best material made and perfectly fit jeans from Banana Republic for under $20. (was $70)
• A pair of extremely expensively made black pants from Express Design Studio for less that $30. (was $100)
• A pair of nicely slim cut black jeans from Express for less than $20. (was $60)
• A pair of beautifully designed jeans from FCUK for 50% off.
• A pair of burgundy pointy-toe flats from Aldo for less that $30.

I don’t want to think about how much I spent today…. But, I am very happy with my day of shopping!!!

p.s. If you don’t already know, I am a shopaholic.

This pop up on my computer out of nowhere (but I love it):

“If you feel that something is pulling you back, that something might be you.”

That’s right. I am pulling myself back, and I knew it.  Am I gonna stop? Probably not for a while.

First post… um… I should introduce myself… I guess…

Name: Cherrie

Sex: Too Busy

Age: Secret (I am legal to drink though)

Nationality: Cutie China Doll from HK

Location: Los Angeles, CA

Proudly attending UCLA Math/Econ

Want to know more about me???   Ask me then.