Dearest Pea,

I write this in the quiet of an early Tuesday morning while the house is still rest of you lie in deep slumber. All around me as I tap away on the laptop, are various photographs of you through the years.

I cannot believe how time has flown so quickly! It’s as if I had just turned around and the 18 years have gone by. I can fully relate to that scene in
”Father of the Bride” where Steve Martin looks at his daughter, all grown up but instead sees her as a precocious five year old. To this day I remember the early mornings when you would not let us sleep until the sun would peep over the horizon because you were such a colicky baby! Those times when I would pick you up from school and we would hie off to the bookstore and spend hours and hours just reading…And tomorrow, you turn eighteen..

As a parent, you have moments of self-doubt, and ask yourself if you have done right by your children. It is a question that nags at you every now and then. Some of those apprehensions were answered the other night as you crawled underneath the covers and lay beside me just like you used to when you were a little girl. As we reminisced your your colorful, and sometimes wacky childhood, my heart was filled with peace. You cannot begin to understand what a relief it was for me to know that you have so many warm, happy and fuzzy memories over the last 18 years to take with you wherever you go. I am grateful that we had a lot of time to spend together during those crucial and formative growing up years. Years that we can never bring back. My heart overflows with contentment in knowing that we have given you a treasure trove full of precious memories.

Yesterday, someone asked me if I also had the experience of having to go through the turbulent teens with you. I couldn’t quite understand the question at first, and she explained it by saying that one of her friends had told her that the teen-age years were perhaps purposefully created to be turbulent so that when the time comes for the parent to let go, it will be easier to do so. Hmmmm. I told her, that just wasn’t the case with us. She paused for a moment and said that I was one blessed mama. Right then and there thanked the Lord for being with us all those years, for filling you with His grace, and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, for never giving us any grief at all during your teen-age years!

I cannot begin to thank the Lord enough for blessing us with such a wonderful, sensitive and responsible daughter. You, and your brothers, have been our greatest blessings. The last few weeks have been pretty “emo” for me, realizing that you are now almost 18, soon to enter college and how in maybe a decade or so, you will start building a life of your own. One morning in the car, after Leo and I had dropped you off at school, tears started to trickle as it dawned on me how this would be the last few months when you and he would be riding together in the car in the mornings. After 14 years of driving through the same route, with the same passengers… Then again, it could have been my hormones too.

Letting go has always been very difficult for me, you know that. But by God’s grace I know in my heart that when the time comes for us to do so, fully, He will give us the strength that we need. For now, you have a whole new adventure ahead of you and I am really excited! Remember that we are always here to love and support you as go and pursue your dreams and life’s mission.

Thank you for being such a good daughter and a wonderful sister to your brothers. My heart overflows with pride and joy when I remember all the times that you have been there for the family. I hope you realize and value the importance of love, of home and of always being there for one another. We will have our “off” days and our misunderstandings but I pray and trust that when those days come, as they do, with God’s help, we will always find a way to mend, heal and forgive one another.

I am so proud of what you have become, how you have worked so hard to get to where you are. Now, more than ever, you will need to seek the Lord’s guidance as you embark on this new phase in your life. Consult the Lord and let him take the wheel, like that favorite song of yours goes. You will never go wrong when you allow Him to steer your course and be in His flow. Be it is in the area of work, family, or relationships – pray for guidance always so that it will be easy and you, and in doing so, spare yourself from major heartbreak. He has imbued you with an extraordinary mind, a generous heart, discernment and kindness – use these gifts well at all times to lift others up and to be of service to everyone around you.

God is faithful and I’d like to think that in His goodness and wisdom He has put in you the best that is of me and daddy. Use your talents wisely and never forget to bring the glory back to HIM, for apart from HIM we really are nothing. May you always remain grounded and constantly guard your heart. Remain humble and steadfast and sensible.

I love you very much and thank the Lord for the gift of you. You are not only my daughter, but now that you are grown, you have become the best friend of my heart as well. But like my mother before me, and any other mother for that matter, no matter how old you become, you will always be my child and I will be there for you no matter what.

Happy, Blessed Birthday!

Love, hugs and prayers always,

Mommy