Last Wednesday, I was invited to speak at a forum in Miriam College on the positive and negative sides of Reality TV. Psychiatrist, Dr. Randy Dellosa and reality TV host (of “Hired”) Paolo Abrera were part of the panel as well. Reality television, as defined by Wikipedia is “a genre of television programming which presents purportedly unscripted dramatic or humorous situations, documents actual events, and features ordinary people instead of professional actors. Such shows frequently portray a modified and highly influenced form of reality, with participants put in exotic locations or abnormal situations, sometimes coached to act in certain ways by off-screen handlers, and with events on screen sometimes manipulated through editing and other post-production techniques.”
To find out what Filipino parents like me, thought of reality TV, I conducted an informal survey from among 50 participants comprised of friends, colleagues and classmates. Thank God for email, multiply and Facebook, the responses, both animated and insightful, came in very quickly.
Interestingly, all the parents I surveyed watched reality TV with their children, varying in frequency from “sometimes” to “all the time”. Foremost among their concerns were the following – projection of values and language used; exposure to sex and violence; wrong impressions given with regards to love and relationships; behaving “over the top”; encourages voyeurism and public display of areas in life that should remain private. Many of these concerns were my issues as well. This is the reason why, once in a while, I like sitting and watching shows like “Project Runway”, “America’s Next Top Model” and “American Idol” with my children. Once upon a time, when it was very new, we were avid viewers of the “Pinoy Big Brother” Celebrity and Teen Editions and rooted each night for our favorites on “Pinoy Dream Academy”.
Based on tan informal survey of 50 parents, the Top Seven Reality TV Shows are as follows:
1. America’s Next Top Model
2. Project Runway
3. Amazing Race
4. Iron Chef
5. American Idol
6. Clean House
7. The Apprentice
Parents who watch these shows with their children say that they use the wrong examples they see on television as teachable moments. “Offensive scenes are examples of what they need to avoid in life,” one mom said. Another one told me, “I ask my kids how they feel about a particular scene so that I can gauge if I have implanted the right values.” One huge fan of the show the “Amazing Race” would watch the show with her teen-age boys and cite the different ways and means by which the participants would cope with the different stressors.
All o f the parents were in concurrence that much can be improved in the content of reality television shows, most especially the locally produced ones. “I worry about content and the glorification of negative behavior. Does one need to behave badly to succeed or be noticed?” One other mother feels that some of the locally produces shows place unnecessary stress on the lives of the participants akin to “mice in an experiment.” In general, parents are in agreement that many of the shows need to re-think the lessons and values that they want the viewer to gain. They also feel very strongly about setting limits as to what scenes can be reasonably shared with the public so as not to appear offensive. Emphasize the positive over the negative and use the show as a vehicle for values formation.
Curiously, it is to our dark and voyeuristic side that shows appeal to. It’s really a two-edged sword when you think about it. These shows will not rate or prosper if there is no audience that watches it. Though media is a powerful medium and tool for good (or evil) depending on which way you look at it, the consumer or the viewer can empower himself or herself too, by choosing and being more discerning of the programs that they watch.
Professor Ronnie Motilla of Miriam College raised a point that was echoed my Dr. Dellosa and me, that on the positive side, these reality shows can be used in such a way that the program reveals us to true selves. Motilla, a clinical psychologist and Head of the wellness center at Miriam College spoke briefly about Carl Jung’s concept of Shadow, which is everything in us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped and denied and which we project unto other people. Dr.Motilla says that, “We are driven by our humanness to be authentic persons. And perhaps Reality TV provides us this venue.” He adds that while Reality TV continues to thrive, we need to take greater responsibility for our life. “Our life is our own unique creative life project. Instead of passively accepting whatever TV networks try to feed us with, it would be better to take some time to reflect on why such programming is made and why we still feel attracted to it? Let us take a moment of solitude ask ourselves after watching a Reality TV show: Is this my own drama or another’s life drama? Am I imitating real life or am I living my own real life?”
For all its pluses and minuses, as parents we need to be discerning and constantly aware of the reality TV shows that our children choose to watch. In the same vein, as Dr. Motilla suggests, we can use these opportunities to go deeper into ourselves as individuals and as parents. What is it about this particular scene that offends or inspires me to action? What trait does this character have that makes me want to root for him or her? Reality is what you make of it. As in books, the best programs are those that reveal us to our true selves, and in the process make us better, more compassionate human beings and parents.