I’m back home and among the first things I did was to go to the wake of a dear friend’s husband.

D is gone to soon. He had just turned 50 this January and now he is forever golden. His wife, D, in spite of her pain is gracious. “We were given the grace of nine months. He was so ready to go but it’s still very painful.” In spite of what one calls anticipatory grief, death when it comes, still hurts like hell. There is just no way to prepare yourself for it.

Diagnosed with lung cancer with metastasis to the brain in August last year, they thought he only had a month to go. The scans were horrible and since the couple were both doctors, they were fully aware of what lay ahead. “There was no room for denial,” D says thoughtfully. Because her husband was a psychiatrist, he had prepared them well. And when I looked at him tonight, he lay so peacefully with a smile. It was as if he was only sleeping.

My thoughts turn to D’s three teen-aged children. Among them is Den, their 17year old middle child. I look at her and see parts of me. The circumstances are the same. I tell her that 26 years ago, on a summer just like this, before my Senior year in high school, my father too, at age 49, was gone in the blink of an eye. Her eyes light up momentarily, “My dad made it to 50…” she smiles, and quickly says, “So Tita, you can totally relate to this.” There is a an instant kinship that exists among those of us who lost our parents at an eary age. An immediate bond is formed. I am glad that Den has her music and her sports to help see her through. It is a long journey yet that lies ahead.

“God especially loves the widows and the orphans. He has a special place for them in his heart.” My mother liked to say that to me and my brother all the time. When I look back on our lives, I believe so. For it is written James 1:27 “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of our God our Father, means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles and refuse to let the world corrupt us.” Please say a prayer for my friend D and her family. Prayers will lift them up and God will take care.