Okay, guilty.

Chismis is a useless preoccupation that many girls (women) indulge in. It’s worst in high school where the propensity to spread stories is about as normal as breathing. Something perhaps related to raging hormones?

I thought this program, now being in implemented in several Jewish high schools in New York is a wonderful effort at trying to quell this evil practice that many high schoolers like to participate in. I was once guilty of this, and admittedly, it’s a bad habit that many people carry into adulthood.

What do we benefit by talking about other people’s lives? Admittedly, it’s very difficult to get yourself out of the rut. And some people are just naturally more chismosa than others. But it can be done if you really make an effort. I admire people who are able to stop themselves in their tracks when they feel that the conversation between friends is already going rabid — “Huwag na tayong pumunta dyan. Chismis na yan?” (Let’s not go there. That’s gossiping already)

I learned my lesson the hard way. Once upon a time I found myself in between a rock and a hard place. I felt that there was betrayal to some degree and was so angry with that person. Why did she not tell me the truth about the real circumstances that caused her problems? Why did she have to drag me into it? It really ate at me for a while. But time has a way of making things plain and simple, and for me, that is now all in the past. I’ve agonized over it and learned my lesson. Let’s move on to the next chapter.

Unfortunately, the problem with having too much “history” with a person puts you in a place where all your motives become suspect. I guess that is the price one has to pay. It works both ways for the parties involved. Again, time is the best balm for any wound, no matter how deep. I like to believe that God stands in the gap between people whose friendships are meant to be restored and He restores them in HIS time. I also know that sometimes, some friendships never become restored and when this takes place you just have to think that your role in that person’s life is over and his or her role in your’s has been completed as well. There will be no room for any bitterness if you always think that circumstances, difficulties and people are allowed to come into your life to take you, from one stage to the next.

I do believe that the roots of the propensity for chismis (gossip) begin in one’s adolescence. The NY Times article says — “In the secret lives of high school students, social warfare is often waged with words. Plots are hatched during a quick trip to the lockers, rumors destroy reputations at recess, and friendships crumble at varsity practice. Usually, the deep emotional wounds are invisible to teachers, coaches and parents.” Sometimes, these wounds are carried all the way into one’s mid-life if left unresolved and so it rears its ugly head this time among perimenopausal women. It’s both pathetic and funny to see and experience this at this stage in life.

Nowadays, when someone comes up to me and asks, “Hey, is it true about so and so…” I’ve now learned to simply shrug it off and say to the person, “I really don’t know. You want me to ask her? I can call her now if you want.” End of discussion.

Read about this program that helps curb gossip among girl’s high schools in this NY Times Article on — “Weaning Teenagers Off Gossip, for One Hour at a Time”

Politics and ehem, good looks, is really in Barack Obama’s gene pool.

Genealogist Christopher Child has found that Obama has a prolific presidential lineage that features Democrats and Republicans. His distant cousins include President George W. Bush and his father, George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson, Harry S. Truman and James Madison. Other Obama cousins include Vice President Dick Cheney, British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill and Civil War General Robert E. Lee.

In this MSNBC article, he also found out that Barack Obama and Brad Pitt are cousins! And that Hilary Clinton is related to Angelina Jolie, and Camila Parker-Bowles. Interesting huh? Read the full article here.

This is the view from my bedroom window every morning that I wake up here in Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC)…

Our home here faces the East, which, according to the Chinese, is a good place to be because that is where the sun rises, heralding the start of new beginnings. And so it is, that we begin a new life here, as a family. Well, not quite. Our current situation requires that I shuttle between HCMC every several weeks to keep our family units intact. A new way of living that as early as a year ago, the Lord had already placed on my heart.

Last year, I quit a full-time job and opted to focus on family at the same time doing free-lance writing and editing work on the side, in addition to teaching. It was a great place to be in. Around the same time, H opted for early retirement from the company he was working in. Together, we were able to, in that one year, focus on family and working for the Lord while writing and teaching. We are grateful for that time that we were given to strengthen family ties.

Vietnam has always held a fascination for me as far back as my childhood days. Of course, it was a childhood peppered by movies such as “The Deer Hunter”, “Apocalypse Now” and later on as a young adult, “Indochine”, “Cyclos” and “The Scent of Green Papayas” — not exactly great representations of Vietnam but just the same, the country had always held me in awe. Watching Lea Salonga onstage as “Ms. Saigon” and listening to its soundtrack countless times, further piqued my interest about this country.

I believe that if God wants to you to do something, or he is about to create a change in you, He does it with wonder, and often surreptitously.

Last year, I bought a ticket to fulfill a lifelong dream to visit HCMC in October as a birthday gift to myself. I had bought it in tandem with a Bohol ticket that I used in September last year. Bohol and Vietnam were on my travel wish-list for 2007. For some reason or another, the Vietnam trip did not materialize — either due to school or work scheduled that kept me home-bound. Little did I know that God was going to surpise us in 2008 and that ticket would be used, in HIS time.

We visited here in January for some initial talks, and went back home. Prayed about it, mulled it over, deliberated the pros and cons, went back and forth with the principals… to make a long story short, this is where we are now It’s not the ideal but I believe that this is where God wants us to be because everything just fell into place. A wise Christian friend told me, “Sometimes God allows ‘distrurbances’ to take place because there are lessons that He wants us to learn.” I know that there will definitely be new learnings on this journey. Another good friend calls it “the great mid-life adventure” and it is turning out to be such, in more ways than one.

I’ve been here one week but have already learned and grown so much. The Viets are such a resilient, hard-working people. When you think of what they had to undergo — a 20 year war that wrought so much havoc, death and devastation to their country, you will be humbled and awed to see where they are now and where they are going. The work ethic is amazing. But yes, there is a lot of poverty around, but somehow, you see that they make do.

As a family we have grown closer, stronger individually, and God-willing stronger together and apart. P and I wedre kidding that we could now relate to the OFW stories on “Wowoweee”. I now have a new burden for other spouses who are in the same shoes. I consider it a blessing though that we can get to see H more often than the other families who live apart.

Vietnam is lovely but it is also difficult to live here because of the language. It is something that you need to get used to. It can be frustrating, but like all other things, you summon up the courage within you to adjust, make changes when and where necessary, in the name of love and family. It really all boils down to that.

It’s a blessing to be here and we are all eager to see how God will continue to mold and change us as we face this new adventure as a family. May He go before us each and every step of the way. We return home to Manila next week to adjust again to a new set-up. In times like these, you really must have a strong faith and open communication lines with the Lord. Knowing that He is everywhere, that He holds you safe if the palm of His hands is enough comfort to trust and know that there is nothing impossible to face with HIM. He really, is enough. So thank you Lord, for the blessing of this new way of life, we look forward to traversing the road ahead, knowing that you are there by our side.

Taking a break from domestic goddess duties, the kids, Itoy and I headed to the Dong Khoi street in District One yesterday morning. The most prominent area in the city is around this street that has a wide array of shops, museums, and dining places.

We decided to take in the sights and sounds little by little so that we could eventually “master” the District slowly. Our foray into the city began with lunch at
the food court of the Diamond Department store on Le Duan street. This is sort of the equivalent of Rustan’s Department store in Manila (though walang food court sa Rustan’s). We feasted on, what else, hot, heaping bowls of beef pho, fried and fresh nem (spring rolls)– from a place called “Wrap and Roll”, and fresh fruit shakes (I had one called “Miss Saigon” made of papaya, soursop and melon (yum!!)

After lunch we checked out the prices at the supermarket and were very happy to find familiar products we needed for home. We then proceeded to take a leisurely stroll on Dong Khoi by the areas of the Notre Dame Cathedral — where Filipinos gather every Sunday for the 9:30 AM mass which is the only English language mass in the city — and the General Post Office.

Our first stop was a bookstore, across the PAL office to buy some English language story books for L who was starting to get antsy from an almost week-long stay here. The thing is that you really need to find ways to amuse and entertain your children when you are new in a foreign land. Travel, and living overseas is a wonderful blessing and an even greater learning opportunity not only for oneself, but for the children as well. It has been said that a week of travel to a foreign land is often the equivalent of learning gained from one semester in college. I digress…

After spending half an hour in the bookstore, we walked back in the direction of the Diamond Plaza where Mr. Vu, the driver was scheduled to pick us by 4PM. No, we haven’t met Mr. Ha yet, so we use Mr. Vu, who is always on time and whose English is good enough to get us to and from our destination, on our forays into the city.

First tourista moment was to stop and take the requisite photos by the Notre Dame Cathedral which is an awesome presence here in the Dong Khoi area of District 1. It is a tall, late 19th century cathedral, built of locally quarried stone and covered with red ceramic tiles that were shipped in from Marseilles, France. The statue of the Virgin Mary, made in Rome and named Holy Mary Queen of Peace, was added to the lawns fronting the cathedral in the 1959s, in the hope of bringing peace to a strife-torn country. The Notre Dame Cathedral is the largest church ever-built in the French Empire.

From the Notre Dame we went to the General Post Office (GPO)– one of the most handsome, French Colonial buildings in the city designed by French architect Gustave Eiffel between 1886 and 1891. The GPO or Buu Dien Trung is one of the most attractive buildings in the city. It’s massive facade is coral colored and features the faces opf famous scientists and philosophers. The building, they like to say, is a “temple to the art of communicating by mail” — an art that is slowly dying in the age of email.

On my first visit here in January, I was immediately struck by the interior’s resemblance to the King’s Cross Station from the Harry Potter series :0 The GPO’s inetriors are vaulted and supported by wrought-iron pillars painted in greeen , with gilded capitals. The tiles on the floor are intricate, and huge maps adorn the the walls. Wooden writing benches are available for people who are waiting. I like coming in here because the cool interiors and benches provide a wonderful, momentary respite from the heat. I also like looking at the phone booths that have clocks depicting the time in different parts of the world. It’s like I am transported, briefly, to a different moment in time.

Truly, Vietnam is awesome in her beauty and resilience and Ho Chi Minh is a city that fascinates. My life here is so different from the one I keep in Manila but I love it just the same. As each new day unfolds, I discover different aspects of myself, strengths I never knew I had.

My domestic goddess skills are being practiced to the hilt here, in this country which is now my second home for the next year or so. I’m actually thinking of starting a new blog — Becoming Mrs. Saigon - expat wife, not quite — to chronicle the travails of moving to a new country and returning home and having your heart in two places. My friend, Viqui, whose husband, N also works here with H, and I are planning to start some sort of support group for other women in the same boat as we are. There is a growing number of us and I am sure we can learn so much from each other.

Last night, P and I were joking about how therapeutic it is to just stare down at the wash and watch the washing machine spin. Is that weird or what? I guess it’s the movement of the water that makes it oh-so-calming. My relationship with “Yim” is improving, and today I was able to ask her to go to the store on her motorbike (yes, lahat sila naka-bike dito) to buy a hamper and three dozen hangers for, get this, $7.00! A lot of things are really very reasonable here. Food being one of them.

Yesterday, we went to the Phu My Hong area where most of the other Filipinos live, and where we hope to be living by next year, and did some major shopping. We first had some heavenly beef brisket pho (25000 dong or 67 pesos!) at the nice and quiet Garden Cafe and then browsed at a bookstore where I had really good Cafe Suda (iced Vietnamese coffee). You can find almost everything here and more. There are a lot of excellent local products and the kids have been drowning themselves in milk and yogurt products. The noodles (their version of Lucky Me but healthier kasi no preservatives and the meat is just as succulent) in the supermarket are a steal at 6000 Dong which is like 15 pesos only and really tasty!

Milk and yogurt drinks galore!

Yummy and Fab Pho

It really broke my heart to read that the Philippines is planning to import rice from Vietnam. What has happenned to us? Vietnam came out of a war 33 years ago and look where they are now! Where were we 33 years ago and where are we now?

We’re eating much healthier here than we do in Manila. And because of the domestic duties, I can actually feel my pants loosen by centimeters day by day. Wheee. Hopefully, I’ll be down a dress size by the time we return at the end of the month!

The heat here is another thing. You leave your laundry, on a rack indoors, and after an hour or two, tuyo na lahat ng labada mo! Unbelievable. It’s a good thing that our utilities here are paid for so kahit mag-aircon ka ng mag-hapon, you have no fear of going bankrupt.

We now have a car and driver, his name is Mr. Ha. Hopefully, he will be able to speak or understand some English kung hindi eh baka puro “Ha?” ang maging usapan namin. The kids, Itoy and I plan to check out the Dong Khoi district tomorrow and make a stop at the Notre Dame Cathedral to meditate and take some photos. H has a six-day work week here so we are left to amuse and busy ourselves. It was hard at first to try and summon the adventuristic sprit in me. The last time I did this, move to a new country I men, was 14 years ago when I was a tireless thirty. Well, now I’m a fearless 40something so I guess it still balances out.

More sights and photos on the next post. For now, Hen gap lai! See you later:)

I’m back…greetings from Ho Chi Minh City!

The last few days have been spent trying to get our bearings as we help H settle into his new home which will be our home too from time to time.

We live in a housing estate, the Thu Doc Gardens, close to where H works but far from everything else. The kids and I like to joke that it’s like being in the VBB - Viet Big Brother House We have a Vietnamese helper who comes in to clean, wash and iron. Eventually, we will have to bring a Pinay helper here. The language barrier makes it so darn hard to communicate and you will not believe the amount of sign language that I have had to do over the last couple of days. The Viet phrase book is my constant companion at home as I try to give “Yim” directions.

Thank God H’s officemate just lives down the road from us and he has an excellent “valet”, a young man, names Itoy, who keeps house for him and cooks excellent meals. Cooking has never been my strong point so you can imagine what a relief Itoy has been for all of us.

Tomorrow we shall do grocery and supplies shopping as we are still in the process of completing our stuff at home. The house is fully furnished already — not quite to my liking– but hey, who are we to complain. However, we still need the small, essential stuff. It’s like starting over again really, pretty stressful some days - not being mobile and the communication problem pretty much aggravates it, but I guess this is what you could call a midlife adventure. I was soooooo bushed on our first day here that two days later I can still feel my muscles creak. From all the moves I have made — Hongkong, Korea, and now Vietnam, this seems to be the most challenging so far.

It’s a good thing that H has his officemate N, to help him adjust and keep him company. At least he will have company after we go. It’s quiet where we are. A totally different life that will ceratainly take getting used to. The men spend six days a week at work and they are in an industry that is so fast moving and growing that it is an exciting place for them to be. The challenge really is for the family members who get left behind at home. When h is at work, we’re pretty much left on our own - your day is what you make it, really

We have no wi-fi connection yet at home and so the kids and I are in N’s house, riding on the wi-fi from the private high school beside his house Hopefully, when we return here in May, our connection will be up.

In my next post I will hopefully have more pictures of us adjusting to our lives here. It’s a very safe country with helpful, industrious people all around. The adventure has just begun.

One movie the kids and I are looking forward to watching is the Dr. Seuss’ classic — “Horton Hears A Who”. Dr. Seuss is an amazing storyteller and though I didn’t like recent films of past — “The Grinch…” and “The Cat In the Hat” — this one promises to be different. Dr. Seuss is skilled in creating stories that are conversation starters for parents to discuss deeper issues with children such as faith, self-esteem and respect. I would put this on every parent’s to-watch movie for the summer.

A Christianity Today movie review says — “Horton, from the creators of Ice Age, is just about what it would look like if Dr. Seuss’ imagination collided with live action, a sort of psychedelic smorgasbord of intensely colored and peculiarly imagined creatures, landscapes and props that allows Seuss’ effervescent creativity to come to life as it never has before.”

“Dr. Seuss had the matchless ability to distill complex issues into clear and comprehensible philosophical declarations that kids and adults alike could easily understand. Horton is supercharged with a number of such positive messages. It is a story of resolute faithfulness and diligence in the face of overwhelming peer pressure. It would have been very easy for Horton to give up when the going got tough, but after all, “an elephant’s faithful 100 percent.”

Jim Carey returns as the voice of Horton and veteran comedienne Carol Burnett, voices Horton’s nemesis, the Sour Kangaroo. Expect laughter and fun to abound in this heartwarming and inspiring movie.

The Miriam College Daycare & Breastfeeding Center is the first of it’s kind in the country. Located inside the grounds of the Miriam College campus in Quezon City, it is the first private girl’s school in the country to have a daycare cum breastfeeding center inside its grounds.

The project is a batch gift of the Maryknoll High School class of 1982 in partnership with Migi’s Corner Foundation in cooperation with the Superferry. Below is the text of my message delivered today, March 10, 2008.

As a young girl here in the grade school, there was a little blue picture book that we were made to read every school year for our Christian Living classes. In it were photographs of different grade school students shot in different areas of the campus doing various school activities. Throughout its pages was the verse from Ecclesiastes 3: 1- 15 more popularly known as the A Time for Everything piece. Its first verse goes — There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven”

Working on this project has been both a source of great joy and sadness. Because this is a happy occasion I will choose to focus on the great joy that I found in collaborating with some of the best minds in my batch, the Maryknoll High School Class of 1982.

I believe it is no coincidence that I happen to be a member of this class. Like many other things and circumstances in my life, I’ve always believed that God has a reason of putting you at specific points in time with specific persons — to mold you perhaps, to strengthen you, to learn lessons from each other, to give back. Today’s blessed event is an example of that, let me explain…

Architect Boots Belmonte, whom I like to call the captain of this project and I were batch mates in high school and knew each other fleetingly. Through this project I got to know her up close and personal and was awed by her immense talent, dedication and perseverance to see this project through. The daycare would not have been made possible without Boots’ unstinting devotion and generosity of talent and spirit.

Atty. Mylene Yumul- Espina, another batch mate of ours, put in many hours to iron out the kinks and legalities of the MOA for this project that will finally be signed today. During meetings, Mylene would never fail to dazzle us with her brilliance, her wit and humor.

Loudette Halili and Katrina Gumaru, were instrumental in ironing out the financials for this project. Their being sticklers for details impressed me most and it was a skill that was much-needed for a project such as this.

Jayjay Pulido, our self-confessed OC batchmate, has always been there with her suggestions and eagle-eye for the seemingly small but important details.

Milen Galang, who put together a heart-warming and touching video on the daycare project. Her gifts and talent for communication is very much appreciated.

Jorja Santos, whose company JJMAC helped put the entire daycare together.

Maricris Nicandro’s passion and breastfeeding advocacy will certainly be a huge help these coming months as we create programs that will highlight the importance and benefits of breastfeeding to the young mothers who work and study here at Miriam.

My childhood friends, Carissa Singson, Larcy Morales and Ginny Guzman who have been my friends for the last 30 plus years. I want to thank you for sticking by me, for all the support that you have given to this project – emotional, spiritual, financial. For that I am truly grateful and blessed.

I also want to thank the MMCAA for their support of this project, thanks to Atty. Mari Fabian for putting up with all our changes in the MOA.

Thanks too to Miriam College , especially to Mrs. Cynthia Morales for being such a great help and support from start to finish. Natapos din ma’am and today we turn this over to your care. Thank you for the landscaping, the white picket fence and the food that you have served us on countless occasions including today.

To the MCHS ’82 core team headed by Mary Rose Ramoso and every member of my batch who gave unselfishly – through your time, talent, wisdom or finances, so that the project may be completed, today is a second homecoming for you too. Through this project, you leave a part of yourselves in the school that helped mold you into the woman that you are today.

I would also like to give special thanks to the Aboitiz Transport Group, specifically the Superferry, for their generosity in donating the 40-ft container van that now houses our daycare.

Thank you also to my friends, three talented artists – Fen, Vena and Raf for their beautiful mural of Migi at play. This is the 11th they have done for Migi’s Corner. Again, it is no coincidence that if my son were alive today he would be 14 years old and this daycare is the 14th project that the foundation has helped set up. The project is extra meaningful because it was built in the year when Migi marks his 10th year in heaven. Even the message, in the mural, one that I had written about two weeks ago in my Inquirer column – of how God is good all the time, is not at all accidental.

So like I said at the beginning of this message, God has a purpose for everything, and HIS timing is ever perfect, it never misses. Let me end this with rest of the passage from Ecclesiastes…

A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.

It wasn’t by accident that I was born to be a member of the high school batch of 1982, as every other member who has given unselfishly of her talent to this project is. I know in my heart too that it wasn’t by accident that I happen to be Migi’s mom. Through synergy, our individual talents and collective life experiences over the last 25 years since we left Maryknoll has now served a higher purpose – in this case, to provide a haven of comfort for children and breastfeeding mothers. We thank the Lord for our Maryknoll education, and for all the gifts He has bestowed on us individually as women and collectively as batch. Everything has its rhyme and reason and today is just another proof of that. Thank you very much. To God be all the glory.

Cathy S. Babao Guballa
March 10, 2008

CAV, the newest wine bar and restaurant located on Bonifacio High Street takes its inspiration from “cave” which is French for cellar. Owned by Markus Gfeller of “Grassi’s” fame, CAV promises an evening of great food and wine served in the most interesting manner.

I first heard of this place from my friend Griffith Go who is part of the team that brought the wine MACHINE into the country and set it up at CAV. My students at the world-class ENDERUN college were also raving about this new dining hot spot in Manila. When the kids from Enderun rave about you, you must really be good.

So H and I decided to have his birthday dinner over there a few nights ago and we were very happy with what we found. The interiors were posh and elegant but not intimidating. The food, coming from the genius that is Markus Gfeller did not disappoint. The place though goes by a PRIX FIXE menu which means that diners must choose from a three or four course meal, nothing less. Average price therefore, minus the wines would be at 1,000 to 1,500 per person at a minumum.

I started off with the Heart of Organic Baby Romaine with Jamon Crisps, Caper Berried and Truffle Aioili. It was sheer delight as I slowly bit into the succulent greens and crunchy bits of young jamon. H got a young Arugula salad with watermelon tomato confit and parmesan crisp. He was equally delighted with his selection as he munched on the start of what seemed to look like a fabulous birthday meal.

We then followed this up with a Salmon Pastrami with pistou and sweet corn emulsion for me and a Potage Parmentier with Greygoose vodka and lumpfish caviar for him. For the main course, I had a Grilled Tuna steak with Tapenade spread, Arugula mash and herbal tomato broth. He opted for the Crispy Skinned Salmon Darne with Mediterranean Saffron Pimiento Nage. I wasn’t too joyful over my tuna steak but that could just be me because I prefer tuna cooked in a different way or taken raw like sashimi. There were other entrees to choose from like lamb, pork or beef but since I was already stuffed from having a feast at Las Paellas the night before, I opted to take something lighter.

The main attraction at CAV though, for me, personally, is the wine-vending machine for lack of anything better to call it. It’s quite amazing really and a novelty for us Manila diners. You get, what is called a table card, put it into the machine, and voila, it dispenses the wine in the perfect temperature, straight into your glass! There are 24 varieties to choose from, usually 16 red and 8 white. You can opt to get a tasting portion which is approximately 25 ml, half a glass at 75 ml and a full glass which is around 125 ml. The prices are displayed immediately when you make your choice, so there are no surprises.

I must tell you that the wine selection is pretty impressive! These guys know their job and do it well. I tried out a Shiraz that my students had told me about called “The Dark Side of the Moon” and it was terrific. However, since I’m really a white wine woman, I chose a Chardonnay from the Beringer winery which was excellent.

If you’re looking for something different to try on a date night, or just want to try something new, CAV is the place to go. Do make reservations though as the place is packed almost every night of the week. The guest list there looks like the pages of “Town & Country” or “The Philippine Tatler” but there are also a lot of regular folks like myself who are just plain curious foodies or wine enthusiasts.

Right next door to CAV is the newly built The Spa with snazzy, sleek interiors and whose treatment range is fantastic way to end the night after a great meal with wine. That however, will be reserved for a different blog entry, sometime soon.

Mariah Carey, eat your heart out!

Now comes, the newest singing sensation — Ken Lee aka Valentina, the most popular singer in Bulgaria!
If you think American Idol is fab, wait ’til you see this lady belt it out with such heart and soul

Ang punchline, nasa huli. Laughter is great therapy.
Feel free to pass and link back to me
Happy week-end everyone!