your marvelous night
with a nice boy.
i smile as you tell me about it,
and you gushing every few minutes into your pillow.
but behind my smile
is a flicker of jealousy
as i remember when you told me about him
in the dark gym as poorly chosen music played overhead.
and i told you i know him
and i told you to go for it…
no.
i snap back into reality
knowing i must continue
to fight this monster.
because you’re so happy right now
and i wish for your happiness.
its okay.
my time will come.