Not my usual style, but here goes…

What is a ’station wagon’, anyway?  Does it stop at stations?  No.  Does it look like a wagon?  Not really.  It’s just a horrible American car thing with wood up the side.  In Europe it would look half decent and be called a ‘tourer’ or an ‘estate’.

And, yes, I agree with most people that the former head of RBS, Sir  Fred Goodwin’s £650,000 a year pension is, frankly, obscene.  But what’s worse is Gordon Brown’s ‘outrage’ at the payment.  Brown spent all those years as chancellor, under Tony Blair, allowing those running the banking system to set themselves up for life, regardless of how badly they performed.  And now that one of those responsible  for the current economic crisis is claiming what is, essentially, rightfully theirs, Brown complains.

It’s your fault, Gordon.  Now kindly fuck right off.

And take Harriet Harman and her ‘court of public opinion with you’.

ITV are in a spot of financial trouble.  Well, excuse me while I dry my tears.  Maybe if you made some decent new programmes (I can’t believe they still make Heartbeat), stopped paying stupid money to Simon Cowell for a show that only serves to line his pockets anyway, had one decent newsreader instead of paying for two crap ones and stopped dumbing everything down…. I might watch your channels every now and then as opposed to never.

Now that the freak show that is Michael Jackson has landed in London,the streets will be teeming with ‘look-a-likes’.  Sad no hopers who spend their lives trying to look and act like a fifty year old ex-black man who, erm, loves children and looks like an extra from The Hills Have Eyes.

But I’m sure their mothers love them.

And I cannot believe that people still bang on about Friends.  Why?

It. Wasnt. Funny.

Ever.

That’s it.  Rant over.