This will probably be the last posting of this nature. I’ve basically said everything I can, and any more would probably push me into the territory of buffoonery. If I’ve not already crossed that line.

The issue will remain. One of the problems of being alone in this manner is that you tend to have a bit more time on your hand for self-examination. I’m also naturally introspective to begin with.

I think what ultimately happens is that I get myself frustrated. I start to like a person, and as I find more qualities I admire, I suddenly find myself crossing that line.

“Idiot”, you say, “that’s how it’s supposed to happen”. Yes, but apparently I get my hopes up too high, too soon, too fast. That makes me feel like I’m setting myself up for failure.

Have you ever heard the phrase “self-fulfilling prophecy”? You think something bad will happen, and you fight tooth and nail against having it happen, yet sub-consciously you’re setting yourself up for that very failure.

In my pondering and soul-searching here, as I show my ugly face, my only hope is that someone would be able to look beyond these flaws and be able to accept me. I would love her with all my heart, and she would be my queen.

To paraphrase an old proverb, “don’t go looking for it, it’ll find you”, but dammit I’m tired it waiting.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 at 2:39 pm and is filed under Personal stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.