So, how close to real-life is this? Starr is on the phone, Ghost is asleep on the bed, and I’m glued to the TV.

Got one. What else can I say?

I need to post this and get it off my chest…

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Nov 1 is Kitty’s birthday, and all the servers seem to be having big events. SEA’s started at 8PM SG/MY time. That is 7AM my time, so that was perfect for me.

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You might not have noticed, but I sent in a birthday greeting for Hello Kitty’s 35th birthday. It was posted in the “First batch of birthday greetings”, or something (too lazy to link right now), but it’s also listed on the “Recent, Most watch videos” in the Dream Studio! Just a simple video, one still-frame photo set to some music.

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If you’ve not been playing on the SEA HKO server, you may not realize that we got our old GMs back!

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This will probably be the last posting of this nature. I’ve basically said everything I can, and any more would probably push me into the territory of buffoonery. If I’ve not already crossed that line.

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People probably aren’t interested in my soul searching, but in a way, it is kind of a type of therapy. And if people (and certain people) happen to read this and come out with positive impressions of me, so much the better.

Of course there’s the fear that the impressions will be quite the opposite, but hopefully you can see that I’m not “putting on a persona”. The sentiments are just as real as the person writing this.

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Not entirely unrelated to my previous posts, but the tie-in is there. So if you don’t wanna read more about my whining, feel free to skip  :p

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 soliloquy: (noun) 1.  an utterance or discourse by a person who is talking to himself or herself or is disregardful of or oblivious to any hearers present (often used as a device in drama to disclose a character’s innermost thoughts) 2.  the act of talking while or as if alone.

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I deleted a few of my latest postings. I dunno why I do that. I already embarrassed one women with my unwanted attention, I guess I don’t want to do that again. But here I am, posting the same thing, so am I being stupid anyways? I told her how I feel, and in a way, I hope she sees this. Not to embarrass her, but so that she might see that I’m not playing games or joking. Maybe gain favor in her eyes? I just don’t want her to get mad at me! :(

*sigh* Sometimes I feel like such a wreck, why would someone look favorably on me when I get all worked up like this?

I feel like running away.

Lyrics first, video is at the end, in case you decide to skip it.

Dying days of despair
Are the mirrors of pain
The glass in which I stare
Are slowly building a palace in my mind
Where the memories breeds my fear
With halls of mourning and with walls of bitter loss

The world around me dies
As the seasons change
The water turns to ice
And another year will push the past
Further back into forgetfulness
Among the moments never to return again

Lives are spread by the wind
Growing further apart
Can’t return what has been
I will never again touch those winters
Or the shadows of the fall
Never the innocence, the light of each day

Tell me now, where’s the end to our strive?
Shattered life, the point where freedom dies
Behold my eyes, can’t you see I’m terrified?
Desperate holding on to a distant time

Life Shatters

Lives are spread by the wind
Growing further apart
Can’t return what has been
I will never again touch those winters
Or the shadows of the fall
Never the innocence, the light of each day

So paint the edge with tears
Of a perished emotion
A wound so severe
And much too deep to be erased
By the healing hands of time
That life has withered, and is gone forevermore

It looks like the SEA version of HKO will be going live on October 15. You can run AutoUpdate and get the latest patch. Let’s just hope they don’t get the “patch of death” that NA got (the one with the mobs on steroids).