Well, what can I say? That I have been feeling better about myself and I have been able to actively express how I feel even if I know it may shake things up. That I want to believe it’s mind over matter, but it could also be my new antidepressant. That I sure as hell hope it is me and that I don’t become a slave to my little blue pill. I try not to think about that, but it occasionally crosses my mind and I let it pass. I figure the more I let it interrupt my thoughts the more of a nuisance it will be. That  seems to be the case with my problems  in general- too much thinking. At this point in my life I figure I have let all my skeletons out of the closet and I’m going to use that opportunity to just do the best I can. If I know that I have done my best I have fulfilled my purpose; regardless of what medication I consume. This is only a temporary state. I have made it perfectly clear to my doctor I don’t want to be dependent on my medication. I definitely want to wean off. Western medicine leaves an ill taste in my mouth and the mass amounts of pharmaceutical propaganda, such as plush toys or caricature clocks, is enough to make me want to stop ingesting anything that could make the drug-lords even more powerful. Anyways, that’s my rant. Bottomline, I wasn’t happy with who I was and ultimately it is up to me to change that not some smiling egg mascot that claims to make you happy.

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