I thought I had managed to accept that a former lover was a friend, and I have, but I still feel something more for him. The fact that I know our relationship is set to friend level makes it all the more difficult. I love being around him, but then again it reminds me why I do in fact love him. We spent a lot of unplanned time together yesterday and I just couldn’t stop smiling or laughing. We were just being so goofy and it was nice to joke around for awhile. Now I’m at work and thinking about him. I’m trying to focus on the work in front of me, but I can only picture him smiling, laughing, looking at me with those beautiful eyes. I wish I could have told him how much I love him this morning.  I can’t do that though. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to say those words to him again and it kills me.

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