Yesterday was a good day in one key aspect. I told two people exactly what I ad needing to. One was coming clean about my depression with my dad. I told him I wasn’t ready to talk too much about it, but he said he understood and didn’t want to pry. He did dance around some subjects with simple questions, but I think he mostly wanted to make sure I wasn’t in a dark place. I’ve been in darker places and I know that it can only grow brighter from here. The second thing was I told my friend how I honestly felt. Well, he asked me to tell him truthfully how I felt. At first he scolded me for lecturing a friend and my response was you’re a friend worth saving and I want to keep this friendship going. I felt terrible afterwards though, because I said something that clicked inside him; however, I’m scared it may have clicked that he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. I reminded him through this he was the one who told me to stand up for myself when I need to.

So now it’s Saturday morning and I feel like I should be more excited, but I can’t stop thinking about my friend and I feel like I said too much. I don’t want his pity, but I’m so scared of losing him now.

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